Time to quit playing the Baptist Bible College of Southwest Mississippi Squires and get down to work with some good conference games! ZT has been traveling and looking for inspiration in a middle coach seat with lap babies more plentiful than bunnies a week before Easter! The Padre finally finished his Spurrier Masterpiece Painting ( ZT got a sneak peek ( see below ) and is now considering some kind of intervention for his Gator obsessed buddy!”)……. Prognostications coming a bit late with travels but in plenty of time for you to get a cash advance on your Sears card and call your bookie!
Padre has “seen the light” and here goes week 6…..
LSU TIGERS 27 FLORIDA GATORS 13
I want to believe Florida can win this game, and the Mississippi State game was such a huge first year win ( although MSU may not really be that good ), but I think the talent and depth of LSU win in the end. Still believing in the future with Mullen. And still believe Coach O is actually the Cajun Cookie Monster for the show “Bourbon Street.” Theme Song lyrics: “Humid day, everyone is drinking Hurricanes. It’s Mardi Gras and gonna get some beads. Won’t you tell me how to stumble, how to stumble to Bourbon Street.”
Special Emoji Selection
Auburn Tigers 27 Mississippi State Bulldogs 13
You can’t recover after The Waterboy hit, my Cowbell Friends!
( Editor’s Note…working on embedding link but go to Twitter @brucefloyd and you will get it!!! )
Texas Longhorns 31 Oklahoma Sooners 30 UPSET OF THE WEEK!
Not a major upset, but an upset nonetheless. I think Oklahoma is slightly overrated. I think Texas is decent now. And seriously, why is this game ALWAYS at Noon Eastern? Is this some requirement? Anyway, enjoy some rivalry jokes: “Did you hear about the border war between Texas and Oklahoma? The Oklahomans were throwing dynamite across the border at the Texans. The Texans were lighting it and throwing it back!” Of… “A Texas grad walks into a restroom and stands at a urinal next to an OU grad. After they both finish, the Longhorn starts to walkout. The Sooner says, ‘ I would think at Texas, they would teach you to wash your hands after you use the bathroom.’ The Longhorn says ‘ At Texas they teach us not to pee on our hands.’ “……….by the way, I still think Oklahoma wins the Big 12.
Florida State Seminoles 27 Miami Hurricanes 23 DOUBLE UPSET OF THE WEEK!
When I pick FSU to lose, they win. SO……….
Padre is out and headed to Spurrier Therapy Session……
ZT is on the ground after eating peanuts, cookies, snack mix, and drinking Ginger Ale ( note: convinced more Ginger Ale is ordered on an airplane than any other single location based on personal observations )…….
Oklahoma Sooners 34 Texas Longhorns 24
This is a LOCK!……. ZT was in Texas this week and saw the ” Texas is Back!” by the media which means time to dig a pit so they can have BEVO Burgers for the rest of the year! Texas HC Herman tries to repeat the “Mike Leach Fake Offensive Game Plan” ( you got to read this story as it fits Pirate Mike who was on the OU staff and “planted” a fake game script in 1999 that worked for about a quarter! SERIOUSLY, google it and read it! ) on Oklahoma but it doesn’t work since most of the OU coaching staff only likes books with lots of pictures. After the game, BEVO is “rescued” from the burger pit only to be taken to the 24 day long Texas State Fair where he is forced into a petting zoo….lawsuits pending.
Auburn Tigers 24 Mississippi State Bulldogs 21
Tigers are still in the thick of the SEC and CFB playoff picture but can’t afford a mistake in Starkville. AU offense has been lackluster due to injuries on the O-line, lack of a run game, and all leads to more pressure on a darn good Tiger defense that generally has met the challenge. For the Bulldogs, ZT thinks they spent it all on the UF game last week as they hoped to knock off Mullen on his inaugural return to MSU. Didn’t happen and now they are joining the fad of benching a starter ( Nick Fitzgerald ) for some new QB blood. All adds up to a SEC road victory for the War Eagle squad. NCAA begins an investigation on Dabo Sweeney after forensic analysis determines he is on the MSU sideline, dressed as a female Bulldog Cheerleader ( looked so real he was named Miss MSU as halftime ) whispering into Fitzgerald’s ear and handing him transfer papers…..
LSU TIGAHS 24 Florida Gators 20
Gators are fresh off 2 ROAD SEC wins and that is no easy task! The spanking of the MSU Bulldogs was key and confidence is building in Gainesville. Coach O has the TIGAHS believing they are Top 5 and seems the AP agrees. One interesting note in this one, LSU has a date with #2 Georgia next Saturday in Baton Rouge. Better not be looking ahead AT ALL this week. ZT continues to like the QB play of OSU transfer Joe Burrow. Just the right balance for the TIGAHS to get another W. When Coach O and Mullen meet before the game and are engaged in the typical mindless chatter, a CBS Mic picks up part of the conversation. Of course you can’t understand Coach O but it warrants a forensic analysis as Mullen gets a shocked look on this face and runs away while Gary Danielson sends Coach O a text from the booth that says ” do you want to go camping with me.” After speech analysis, it is determined what Coach O actually said was “have you ever driven a Hummer”
Kentucky Wildcats 28 Texas A & M Aggies 24 Upset Special
OK……as noted earlier, ZT was in Texas. Then on a late flight drinking lots of Coffee and facing a 3 hour drive to get in by Midnight but still think I have clarity on this one! KY HC Mike Stoops may be in line for Coach of the Year if the Cats keep performing! Traveling to College Station is no easy task but the Cats are sporting a solid defense and stout running attack. The 12th Man will be rocking on Saturday Night. Jimbo, Aggies QB Kellen Mond and team are tired of the ” moral victory” of playing Clemson and Bama as well as anyone. A & M starts a 3-game SEC Road trip after this one ( who scheduled that? A Navy Seal Trainer? ) so clearly a time to win but just don’t see it. Drinking the Bluegrass Kool-Aid and just hoping it didn’t come from up the road at Waco.
Notre Dame Fighting Irish 31 Va Tech Hokies 24
Ok….Week 6 is the time of year when, if ND hasn’t executed on their yearly miscue, they automatically are ranked 5-10 spots above where any other team in the free world would be ranked. Irish would appear to have gelled over the last 2 weeks with convincing wins over Wake Forest and that Tree team from the Peoples Republic of California. VT DC Bud Foster and his defense will be ready for ND QB Book in Blacksburg on Saturday Night. A historically tough place to play. Problem with this one, VT really hasn’t played anyone other than Duke and ZT is not really sold on Duke so…. To make matters worse, ND gets a divine message to ” have the Irish Band march around Lane Stadium 7 times during halftime and “JUST TRUST” the outcome. They do. ND Wins, Stadium doesn’t crumble but all tents at a VT tailgate host by Michael Vick being held on Jericho Road immediately collapse…..
Miami Hurricanes 31 FSU Seminoles 16
Hurricanes HC Richt’s team has quietly reeled off 4 in a row since an opening week loss to a resurgent LSU TIGAHS squad. The last of Willie Taggart’s Seminoles are still fighting to get their scalps back and reattached in Tallahassee. This would be a great start if they could pull it off in South Florida. Unfortunately they are no match for the storm they will encounter on Saturday. To make it worse, FSU forced to watch a Sharknado movie and a documentary about Wounded Knee. As the get off the plane in Tallahassee, QB Deondre Francois trips and tears his ACL…..
FSU answer to THE U’s turnover chain
BAMA 45 Arkansas Razorbacks 12
Bama scores 7 TD’s but misses 7 extra points. Ark scores 2 points by returning one of the missed PATs 108 yards for the score. So, Bama fails to cover AGAIN and the fans start a SabanMustGo.org petition. Tide will work on 2 areas this week 1) Establishing the Run Game..why? because they will need it as competition increases and 2) pushing the #2 & #3’s on defense to improve quickly. After the game, 9400 Arkansas Students surround the Bama bus, with transfer papers in hand, and tell Saban they will NEVER miss a home game if he will take them to Tuscaloosa! Ironically at the same time, Tua is mugged in the parking lot on the way to the Bama bus when a group of Razorback fans see him eating a BBQ Pork Sandwich. When the EMT’s revive him he says “Man….and I just thought Jalen was being nice when he handed it to me on the way out of the locker room!”
ZT is off to Sam’s Club…hear they have 38 demo chefs in the frozen food section this weekend. Better than sneaking into the Golden Coral!
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 