Week 12 – SEC Cupcake Week

We all know a lot of food preparation begins the weekend before Thanksgiving.  Baking is usually part of the process.   In a parallel, the SEC typically celebrates “Cupcake Week” at the same time leading up to Rivalry Week ( Week 13 ).   ZT LOVES Cupcakes and we all know that the Padre is partial to bread, specifically breaking bread.

Many other conferences “eat all their cupcakes” at the beginning of the season but week 12 is typically a slow week for big games.

We may only have 3 Top 25 match ups but this doesn’t mean someone can’t slip up and lose their Playoff/Power 5 Bowl trip and end up with a Dollar General gift bag in Mobile before Christmas!

Sec Cupcake Week

ZT will be licking the icing bowl while the Padre is hiding the yeast for his unleavened creations……..all in preparation for some week 12 prognostications coming soon!!!

Padre is in early this week with a schedule that is busier than an NYC street sweeper after the Macy’s Parade so not much time for commentary…….Here we go:

General Commentary followed by some divine prognostication…

#1:  Saban, we get it.  Your guys play every game.  Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah.   Reality?  You gain NOTHING by playing Tua this week.  There.  I said it. Common sense for everyone ( even those who read this blog ).

#2:  Am I wrong to pull for Cincy over UCF?  I’m from Florida after all.  But man…..UCF is getting old!

#3:  I’m the only one in America who seems to think the OKState Mullet was wrong to go for two against Oklahoma.  But his hair says “go for it.”  Always.  Go for it.

#4:  And last, but certainly not least.  PLEASE BOSTON COLLEGE KNOCK FSU OUT OF BOWL CONTENTION ON SATURDAY!!  You know how many jokes I have had to endure over Florida missing bowls under Muschump and Mac?!?!…..Go Eagles!!  Say some extra Hail Mary’s!!!!!!!

Actually, that was a lot of commentary…Now for the Picks, Dragnet-Style..”just the facts”:

West Virginia Mountaineers    45     Mullet Pokes   37

Notre Dame Fighting Irish      38      Syracuse  Orangemen   20

Iowa State Cyclones     26     Texas Longhorns    23

UCF  Knights      38        Cincinnati Bearcats   30

Dreamland BBQ     689        Cupcake with Sprinkles    3

Padre is off on a “Padre Power Schedule” of services through Sunday but will go up on top of a NC mountain Monday to prepare for Rivalry Week, including UF vs. FSU…..

The icing bowl is clean, the Redi-Whip can is empty and ZT is ready to roll….

#12 Syracuse Orangemen    34    #3  Notre Dame Fighting Irish   31  – Upset Special #1

This game is being played in Yankee Stadium even though ND is the home team.  We should learn a LOT about both teams this week!   Orangemen at 8-2 are on a bit of their own “revenge tour” and finished off Louisville with no issues ( Petrino was then promptly sent packing on a Honda Moped with a 300lb. Hardee’s biscuit maker on the back.   Boy how times change!).  Syracuse has the firepower on offense ( with 5, yes 5! 50+ point games ) led by QB Dungy and RB Moe “not Curly” Neal.  The Irish just keep winning  ( not always pretty ) and will have QB Ian Book back after he sat out the FSU scalping.  Gimmick Uniform Alert!!  Say it ain’t so!!……Irish wearing a Pinstripe Uniform.    ZT HATES IT and that is enough for me to put on the Orange unitard and watch the Irish go down!

#18 Iowa State Cyclones     24     #13  Texas Longhorns   23   –  Upset Special #2

Why is everyone in Austin boycotting hammers this week?……Because Texas HC Herman has been getting pounded in social media by ex-OSU assistant Zach Smith worse than a cheap steak at IHOP.  And if that isn’t enough, here comes one of 2018’s Cinderella teams in Iowa State led by HC Matt Campbell on a 5-game win streak!   Cyclone offense is under the control of QB Brock “ain’t he” Purdy and RB David “Punchy” Montgomery, who will have fresh legs in the 2nd half after his 1st half penalty for fighting in the Baylor game.  Considered the Longhorns may rally for their coach but inside sources say most of the team is just trying to get coach to take them to a downtown “training room” for a rub down by renowned Chinese “therapist” Candy Ho.

#19 Cincinnati Bearcats  31   #11 UCF Knights (2018 Co-National Champions) 28 – Upset #3

Gameday will be here and sure that was really tough to choose Florida over NYC in November.   Most of America wants to see UCF in the playoff just to prove they shouldn’t be in the playoff ( as long as they don’t take your favorite team’s spot!).  The Bearcats (9-1), led by HC Luke Fickell and a solid defense will need to play at a season’s best to stop a Knight’s offense that has scored 30+ in every game this season and hit 50+ 3 times!  UCF HC Josh Heupel has to keep the Knights from getting too caught up in the extra hype.  ZT calling for the 3rd Upset of the week.   After the win, Bearcats QB Desmond Ridder yells out ” I’m going to Diggerland!”  The reporter says ” Don’t you mean Disneyland?”  and he answers “No, Diggerland (yep a real place) in New Jersey so we can take an excavator and bury all this UCF talk of a National Championship for another 50 years!”

diggerland final

 

#8 Washington State Cougars   38    Arizona Wildcats  24

Thinking about Angel Food Cake because WSU HC Leach’s brain is typically hovering somewhere well above the earth.   No upset in this one as QB Gardner “Mustache” Minshew continues his winning ways and watches the WSU PR department hype him for the Heisman.  Love in Pullman is defined as a QB with 3000+ yards passing, 29 TDs to 7 INTs ratio and a 147.1 QB rating!! Arizona will be no pushover as HC Kevin Sumlin has led the Wildcats to back-to-back wins over Oregon and Colorado.  They are 1 win away from becoming bowl eligible.  ZT doesn’t see them getting that win this week.  When asked after the game what was the key to the win, Leach answers ” Pretty simple, we outscored them!”  “Also we had great support from our fans with most of them were wearing mustaches although the ones on our fat little cheerleaders are real.” 

leach with a mustache

ZT Quick Picks

Boston College Eagles      24           Florida State Seminoles    21

Seminoles had hoped some friendly Pilgrims from Plymouth Rock would come down for a happy pre-Thanksgiving celebration.   They forgot these are the same people whose ancestors bought Manhattan for $24 , then ran them off the island to Oklahoma.   FSU drops another at Home and HC Willie Taggart is forced to eat Thanksgiving in a corner booth at Whataburger.

West Virginia Mountaineers  43    Oklahoma State Cowboys    34

OK State offense is more one-dimensional in their thinking than a redneck at Wal-Mart on Black Friday trying to buy a Dale Earnhardt Jr. Poster and a sleeveless T-shirt that says “Trailer Park Legend” ………..   Hillbillies dominate.

 

ZT’S SEC Cupcake Picks

LSU TIGAHS       59                       Rice Owls   12

This “Rice” is light, fluffy and gets boiled in the 1st quarter by some gumbo cookin, tequila-shootin Cajuns.  Go TIGAHS!

Florida Gators     41                    Idaho Vandals    8

The only “vandalism” in this game is the Potato State team has their dignity stolen by halftime.

Texas A & M Aggies      28         UAB Blazers    17

AD is suspended when the TA&M Board of Regents see this “cupcake” is 9-1 and ranked #25 in the Coaches Poll!!!   ZT wanted to take the Blazers but even with the 12th man gone home for Thanksgiving, the 11th man gets it done in College Station.

Kentucky Wildcats     31        MTSU Blue Raiders    21

Another “cupcake” that ain’t!   The Blue Raiders only have 3 losses and 2 were to SEC teams in early September.   This week will make 3 with some renewed interest in football after Duke dismantled the KY Hoops team last week….

Georgia Bulldogs  53    U Mass Minutemen  6

Bulldogs dominate early to include the Band scoring twice  in the 2nd Quarter.  After half, UMass comes out wearing no clothes.  Reporter ask why and coach says ” We really are Naked and Afraid but never seen anyone die on that show so thought we should do it.”   Immediately the GA Band strikes up Dueling Banjos and the game is called when the Minutemen run for the buses in 58 seconds…… 

Auburn Tigers   42     Liberty Flames   17

AU thought it had scheduled the insurance company as they were hoping to get “accident forgiveness” for Malzahn’s new contract and, at a minimum,  getting a model year upgrade on the  Gus Bus.

BAMA   59          The Citadel Bulldogs    13

Another game against Bulldogs?    Saban was NOT happy with all the discussion about how much Tua would play, who would rest, etc.   The Citadel has a “stop-the-run” defense but consistently gives up 250+ in the passing department.  Not a good formula against Tua, Jalen ( bad ankle included ), Mac Jones or anyone else who can toss it to the Tide receiving corps.   ZT thinks Mac Jones may be the leading passer at the end of this one and the RB’s will get plenty of carries as well.  On offense, a Triple Option team.  Are you kidding me?  Did someone forget Georgia Southern in 2011 who “Ran through us like S#@% through a Tin Horn?”.   ZT recalls the Bama defensive front 7 had more bruises than a banana in a monkey fight after that one.   Bottom line….the #3’s and 4’s should be able to win this one but don’t tell Nick I said that.  After the game, LSU and Mississippi State hold midnight Offensive drills when they learn The Citadel scored on Bama….

An ACTUAL DECENT SEC GAME

Missouri Tigers  31      Tennessee Volunteers   27

2nd Ex-Vol Head Coach to visit Neyland Stadium when Mizzou OC Derek Dooley comes to town.  Tigers offense can be explosive although they will be missing a TE & WR for this one.  VOLs coming off a big home win over Kentucky and its confirmed less than 10% of the Knoxville population can recall who Butch Jones is.   UT needs a win to become bowl eligible but ZT thinks HC Pruitt will have to wait another week.  Around Midnight, Gary Danielson plays “Having My Baby” by Paul Anka at a Knoxville Bar named the Back Door Tavern.   Place goes quiet and the lights go out.  When the lights come back on, no Gary.   He was last spotted by a TVA drone going down Beaver Creek in a canoe, wearing a Ned Beatty mask, with 2 guys identified as Clem  & Woody ( neither has last names being from Tennessee ) and their banjo called Trigger……..Sorry Gary, Bert Reynolds ( RIP!) is not coming to save you.  Most hoping he is not found  until well after the SEC Championship game.

ZT is off to buy some pants with an elastic waistband so he will be ready to eat soo much Sweet Potato Casserole that he will not desire any for the next 364 days, same as last year……………..