Well….we originally planned to start the 2026 CFB Pigskin Prognostications on Labor Day. ZT had stopped in at the doctor noting he kept having strange dreams of soccer players in distress and Charles Barkley suiting up for a WNBA game. Doc just shook her head and said “Your blood sugar is fine as is your A1C. Issue is you got to watch some College Football. NFL Pre-Season won’t help since you are a Dolphins’ fan.” She gave ZT a note to give to his wife to watch 12 hours of football this Saturday. It was also confirmed the Padre had been noted to add CFB references in his sermons starting in late July to include a discussion about “staying in the pocket is fine if you are Joe Burrow but not when it comes to tithing!!”
So here we are. AP Top 5 are The Ohio State Buckeyes, Oregon Ducks, Georgia Bulldogs, Notre Dame, and the 5th best team money can buy in the Texas Longhorns.
Pigskin Prognostication Accountability: Good news for ZT? Currently, tied for 1st after 2 years of only seeing the Padre’s tail lights at the end of the season. We will keep you posted!
Padre leads off since he won the 2025
WEEK ZERO PICKS
A new year. A new Gator Head Coach. As the cliché goes: The more things change, the more they stay in the Gasparilla Bowl conversation 🏴☠️.
Cynicism aside, FOOTBALL IS BACK! Believe it or not, I genuinely thought we might not be here today. I mean, come on — Indiana is the defending national champion. Although I am a pastor, I am NOT a person who obsesses about the end times. And yet, we all thought the Hoosiers’ title was a sign, right?
Well, Week Zero isn’t much, but it’s something. And, like with ice cream, even bad ice cream is still ice cream. Let’s do this!
NC State @ Virginia: Like with the rest of these games, I am going to pretend I have done a ton of research on both teams (and by in-depth research, I looked at the line and went with my gut). The Super Gut Analytic Machine spit out the numbers (and a little of last night’s chicken) that Virginia holds on at home. Virginia-24, NC State-23
New Mexico St @ FSU: In this new year, I am reminded by the scriptures of how to talk about my enemies. In the past, I have probably said exaggerative and un-nice things about that team from Tallycrappy…I mean Tallahassee. So, in the spirit of a new me, I will say that of all the circuses in the world (once again — yes, FSU has a circus), their clowns make me laugh the most. 🤡 But New Mexico State is, well, New Mexico State. FSU-51, NMSU—10
Memphis @ UNLV: No person has probably enjoyed Florida’s recent lack of success (that’s an understatement) more than Dan Mullen. I wish he loved recruiting as much as he loves to remind UF how he won 9 or 10 games a year. If he did, we may have actually been the bride a couple of times, instead of the bridesmaid. But I am going to take Dan and his Rebels in this one. UNLV-27, Memphis-20
Hawaii @ Stanford: Even my gut knows nothing about these two teams. So I will go with what Vegas says (words you never thought you would hear from a pastor). Stanford-20, Hawaii-16.
UNC vs. TCU (Dublin, Ireland): I grew up with a mother who watched “All My Children” and “The Young and the Restless.” I am not making this up: I confess that when I was in, like, 5th grade, I would get home from school and watch “General Hospital.” I thought I knew the depths of soap opera drama. That was until I watched the new show, “UNC Football: The Belichick Era.” Now that show is the drama king! As an adult, I hate drama. So I am going with the Frogs. TCU-30, UNC-17.
Week Zero picks are in the books. Here is to a great season! God bless!
ZT is so ready for some college football and has a prescription from his Doc to prove it!!
UNC Tar Heels vs. TCU Horned Frogs -7.5/47.5 in Dublin Ireland. 12 noon
What in the world will Bill Belichick do in Dublin?? Rumor is his girlfriend Jordan wanted him to wear a kilt on the sideline, even though it’s more of a Scottish tradition. The folks at ESPN voted and said it would less nauseating to see Bernie Sanders in a thong so no sideline kilt for Bill. One difference for the Tar Heels is Bobby “I love my Harley” Petrino at OC while TCU’s OC headed to South Carolina and now has Gordon “ triple decker” Sammis calling the plays. ZT calling the upset in Ireland with Bobby P’s offense being the difference maker! Upset Special Tar Heels 27 Hopping to the Pub 24
NC State Wolfpack vs. Virginia Cavaliers 230pm
ODD to see a big ACC game in week 0 but this was originally set to be played in Rio de Janeiro ( that’s in Brazil for those who forgot the Gulf of America was formerly named the Gulf of Mexico ). Word is the organizers indicated they did not see the infrastructure for the event would be ready as apparently just removing the droppings from a bullfighting arena is not considered “football ready” as well as UVA was concerned as their Offensive lineman were practicing saying “OLE!!” Way too much for QB Beau “knows” Pribula’s liking (a Mizzou transfer ). ZT going with the Home Team in the opener. Cavaliers 30 Clap for the Wolfpack. 24
New Mexico St. Aggies Vs. FSU Seminoles. 6pm
Ok….proves football-starved America will watch anything once CFB gets started!! Basically, Bama plays the Criminoles in week 3 and the Padre may be preaching on the dangers of evil in the next few weeks so…. The western version of Aggies finished 2025 on a 1-4 roll while FSU was 2-3 down the stretch. Noles HQ Mike Norvell 7-17 in last 24 games is on the hot seat and was heard singing this in the stadium “ I’m grabbin’ my hat and coat…I’m leavin the cat a note…Quick, call me a ferry-boat!” ( ZT, its too early in the season for you to quote Broadway!) . Only question is will FSU cover the spread as they build a nice lead and get some game time for the depth chart…. Noles 45 Agonies 13
Hawaii Rainbows Vs Stanford Cardinal 6pm
This was a solid game in 2025 with the Rainbows winning 23-20 on a late FG. Remember, the Mountain West went from 12 to 10 while the Pac – 2 moved back up to 8 teams, which means they can again have conference calls without putting someone on hold. Just facts that really have nothing to do with this game but…. New Stanford HC Tavita Pritchard ( yes, that former QB who beat USC and was Washington Commanders QB Coach the past 3 years ) has the home field advantage but ZT just feeling something ( could be the 4-day old sea bass eaten while writing this blog ) and calling the upset. Rainbow after the Storm 27 Tree People 24
Memphis Tigers vs. UNLV Rebels 9pm
Maybe the best game of the day….1st match up ever between the schools. Memphis defense is set to be 100% transfers with a heavy dose on Offense which Ohio State RB Dallas Hayden on the field. HC Charlie “I don’t” Huff from Southern Miss ( brought a number of them “Cignetti style”). Is Dan Mullen and the Runnin’ Rebs ( nice hoops reference to Tark the Shark ZT ) up for this? Sure! Here comes Auburn Transfer Jackson Arnold and gang….Expect scoring late & going with “the house” in Vegas. Runnin’ Rebs 34 Elvis’s Tigers 31
Why do football players make terrible bakers?? Because they are afraid of turnovers!
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?? Because the p is silent…
Back for Labor Day Weekend with multiple days of football and fantasy football drafts all wrapped up in a Federal Holiday….What a country!!!
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 