Week 1 ( both Week 1 & 1a as I refuse to acknowledge Week 0 ) is in the books and some interesting developments already. 4 SEC teams lose to include Old Miss, Mizzou, Vandy ( I get that one ), and UT. What? UT? Like those guys from Knoxville?…They played Georgia State at HOME…..WOW. That said, maybe the most bizarre deal was FSU. They lost to Boise State ( ZT noted it would be close but, once becoming a FSU Home Game due to Hurricane Dorian, prognosticated a FSU win ) after building a nice 1st Quarter lead and then failing to score in the 2nd half. You say “So what ZT? Seen it before..” Well, the bizarreness really started on Monday when HC Willie Taggart appeared to indicate they didn’t “Hydrate Well” and noted he discussed this with the training staff about hydrating earlier in the week before a game. Tough excuse to swallow when losing to a team from Idaho in August. He noted later, while drinking a water, that his team uses PowerAde, not Gatorade. An O-lineman then claims that “conditioning wasn’t our strong suit.” SO.. how can FSU fix that hydrating/conditioning issue now that the season has begun? ZT believes this may be the answer:
We will report the results after the Seminoles play the LA-Monroe Mud Dogs at home this week. Also, the Crown Royal “Water Break” commercial is garbage…..drink up, call an Uber and play Johnny Cash songs on Sunday Morning………
ZT is fired up with some Full-Portion Prognostications and tossing in some ZT Quick Snack Picks as well. The Padre is still on Patmos and awaiting the vision…..
Full-Portion Prognostications
BYU Cougars 24 Tennessee Volunteers 31
Vols HC Jeremy Pruitt had a rough week at Rocky Top after blowing a lead at home to Georgia State. Such a bad loss they called a “Players Only” meeting…..problem after watching the game film, no one qualified to attend. Cougars are licking their wounds from a 30-12 beating by in-state rival and Lee Corso’s #2 pick to win it all (he is still in the psych ward from this one ) Utah Utes. BYU has a good, young QB in Zach Wilson but many in Salt Lake note this is a “must win” game. He will STILL be considered a “good, young QB” ( aka ” you ain’t that good yet” ) when they leave Hillbilly Heaven with a loss on Saturday Night.
LSU Tigahs 24 Texas Longhorns 26 Upset Special
Coach O and the Tigahs need a Win in Arlington. Look for QB Joe Burrow to keep the Offense churning and the Defense to pressure the Longhorns. Newest words in the Coach O vocabulary are “Phenomenal” & “Tremendous” ….He used both of these extensively in the post game presser and was very comfortable with the multiple syllables. Nice job Ed….. Now, Texas HC Tom Herman and his Longhorns are not as impressed as ZT in either Coach O’s expanded vocabulary or the Tigahs football play. They DO respect LSU but just feel this is their time as a Home Underdog to make some magic. Got to have a great game from QB Sam Ehlinger as well as their receivers going up against an elite group of Tigah DB’s. If that doesn’t happen, ZT’s upset special is flatter than Kansas.
Arkansas Razorbacks 34 Ole Miss Rebels/Landsharks/Akbars 31 UPSET SPECIAL 2
The Baconators had a tough time last week against the Vikings of Portland State ( Note: no evidence a Viking ever made it to Portland so don’t understand this choice of a mascot ) who, when Googled, has NO news under their News tab and only 2 players have a picture….1 was a track photo. Add to this, the Vikings top RB’s first name is Sergio….pretty much sums up the pain when ARK only beats these guys by 7. Good news, Hogs will change up their uniforms and pre-game routine this week. Embarrassed that Vikings from Portland could make an SEC team change anything. Ole Miss and HC Matt Luke dropped their opener to the Memphis Tigers. Expect QB Matt “Golden” Corral to be over his 1st game jitters and should have a better week. ZT believes the Rebel/Landshark/Akbar offense will catch fire, but unfortunately, the defense will get burned faster than Cheryl’s She Shed in the State Farm Commercial. ZT sees points everywhere but in the end, Hogs beat Ole Miss and Matt Luke is found at 2 am throwing bricks through his own windows.
Texas A & M Aggies 24 Clemson Tigers 38
Why even play this game after A & M Jr. O-lineman Jared “I coughed up a” Hocker called for the upset of Clemson at Death Valley. This prediction is so bad when a small rat at a Whataburger in Bastrop, TX heard this, he jumped to his death into a deep fryer. Aggies do need an upset as they could end 2019 as a Top Ten team with an 8-4 record ( LSU, GA, BAMA on the schedule ). This will be a solid QB battle with Mond vs. Lawrence but ZT sees the Tigers defense as the big difference. Nothing easy for the defending National Champions and closer than Vegas sees it but a WIN for the Fighting Dabos nonetheless.
ZT Quick Snack Picks
Miami Hurricanes 31 UNC Tar Heels 27 UPSET SPECIAL #3
UNC HC Mack Brown said “he just wants to have some fun this time around” as he returns to Chapel Hill. Sure it was fun beating up on Hulk Muschamp last week. Won’t be so much fun this week after HC Manny Diaz and the Canes follow Dorian to town and mop up the Tar Heels.
N. Mexico State Aggies 6 Bama 55
Bama Band dresses out in the 2nd half and they don’t quite cover the line at Bryant-Denny Stadium. Saban snaps and injuries 6 tuba players in a post game tirade.
Tulane Green Wave 17 Auburn Tigers 41
Big comeback win for the War Eagles last week in Dallas and even though Tulane put up 42 on the F.I. Golden Panthers last week, they will find out an SEC Tiger is a different animal. Expect the Green Wave to get flushed worse than a commode at Krystals.
Stanford Cardinal 20 USC Trojans 24
Both QBs out in this one so likely comes down to which replacement makes the least mistakes and who can establish enough of a running game to give the backup signal callers some relief. Noting it’s wildfire season in California, Going Roman with the Trojans versus the dead wood of the Tree farm.
Vandy 27 Purdue Boilermakers 28
Vandy comes off a respectable loss to Georgia in the opener while Purdue needed a real “boilmaker” after being upset by Nevada in their season debut. Real story is Purdue Alumnus Gary Danielson ( who will be announcing BAMA vs. SC in Week 3 so just go to the game or to the mall or have a colon cleanse or something versus enduring that! ) attends this game. At halftime, an unsubstantiated story breaks saying Danielson was on a flight with Jeff Epstein one time. Only response is from an Epstein attorney who said ” No way, even Jeff wouldn’t stoop that low”
ZT just had to put a roof on his house so has had to reduce his food budget. Will be having some fried Spam and some McSoup for dinner. Recipe for McSoup is 3 McDonald’s sauces and 1 part boiling water…….
Saturday 11:45am UPDATE
PADRE IS IN!!…..Contracted a rare illness while eating raw sea urchin on Island of Patmos…seems to have him still locked in on an anti-FSU slant. Not sure if his visions are revelations or hallucinations but here we go!……
Florida Gators 57 UT- Martin 20 –> FSU lost to Boise in Week 1 so doesn’t matter!
Clemson 30 Texas A & M 23 –> Boise St. was down by like 19 and still beat FSU!
LSU 27 Texas 13 –> FSU blamed hydration, but Padre says it’s because they utilize the Gatorade-knockoff PowerAde instead of the real deal!!
USC 20 Stanford 16 –> Boise only scored 14 on Marshall on the Blue turf last night. Just a FYI……but they still beat FSU!
Nebraska 26 Colorado 24 –> FSU should stick to promoting their Circus. Seriously, if you didn’t know, they have a circus. No Joke! Well, it’s a joke, but not that kind.
Miami 27 UNC 23 –> FSU lost to Boise. Did I mention that earlier? Oh, it was in Tallahassee. Yeah!
Back to the Cave and expect unrivaled clarity in Week 3!
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 