Ok…Great to see 3 Top 25 match-ups on the slate after a week of none. Additionally, a lot of conference play kicks in so the potential for upsets increases immensely!!
Got to say a few words about the Refs……They have it tough and get second guessed more than one of Trump’s Cabinet members. ZT has an option that would likely be an improvement in many ways but would come with one potential issue……
On 2nd thought, lets just have the officiating crew stay at a Holiday Inn Express before every game.
The Padre has been under the weather for a few weeks but should be back to form this week. ZT feeling great after finding a 24-hour Del Taco Drive Thru in Columbus GA around 11pm last night. One may ask, “how can you eat a Taco with “Colon Scorcher” hot sauce while driving 75 MPH. Basically 4 steps: 1) tear the salsa pack corner 2) squeeze the entire contents of Colon Scorcher in your mouth 3) take 2 bites of Taco 4) Repeat until the 6 pack of Del Tacos is gone. Know this 4-step program works well with McDonald’s Breakfast Burritos ( Tested more than once ). Bottom Line, ZT had ample time today on the porcelain to contemplate some “Hot Picks”:
FRIDAY NIGHT APPETIZER
#10 Utah Utes 31 USC Trojans 24
Wow…..Utah has not beaten USC in LA since BEFORE the Coliseum was constructed!!! Heck of a headline and yes, the last win was at Fiesta Park in 1913….now, understand they have only played USC in LA 4 times since the 40’s but still got your attention, right?? Utes QB Huntley and RB Zach “the boss” Moss need solid games to win this one and the Utah faithful ( interesting word for Utahans…yep, looked it up ) can see a path to the Pac-12 South Title. 1st things 1st. Take care of the Trojans. USC HC Clay Helton stated he thinks this team “could be a really good football team” just a few days after a very disappointing loss to BYU ( hmmm same state .. ) Trojans are a little young on defense and must have QB Kedon Slovis control his INT’s after tossing 3 last week….. At the end of the night, ZT will take the UTES to send the Trojan Horse back to the stable.
ZT off to have a bowl of Lucky Charms but will return with the Saturday slate….
Friday Update: Padre has just ascended from a swirling pool by a holy location and appears to be completely healed from his affliction……Ok, it was a retention pond by a Buffalo Wild Wings but in Fall, pretty darn holy location….
Utah 34 USC 16
Real Quote from Urban Meyer: ” I believe I’m dome but I’ve also learned to just live in the moment. I love what I’m doing and hope I do for a long time.” Translation: “Should I live near Rodeo Drive or in Malibu?”
Wisconsin 24 Michigan 20
Michigan keeps it close and is driving late for a win! But, with 1st and goal from the 8 yard line and about 1 minute to go, Wisconsin flashes images of Urban Meyer on the Jumbotron at Camp Randall. Harbaugh starts shaking and convulsing and then runs 4 straight fullback dives for a total of 0.56 yards. Wisconsin Wins!
Texas A & M 24 Auburn 23
After the game, Jimbo is quoted as saying ” Everything is about us. How we play, what we do, how we feel. From the first play to the last play. The reckoning.” And he will win then close with “The game don’t care who wins it. You determine what happen.” Note those are REAL quotations from Jimbo…. Deep Insights with Jimbo Fisher.
Georgia 44 Notre Dame 13
Look, I’m one of the RARE individuals pulling for ND. I would rather Saban win 10 national titles than Georgia win 1. But this is going to be a total beat down. I predicted Georgia to win it all at the beginning of the year, and I’m sticking with it– although I would rather get a noogie from Sasquatch than be right about that. But not even Colonel Rudy Sanders can inspire a win in this one for the Irish. I think it’s worse than the score.
UPSETS OF THE WEEK
Air Force 27 Boise State 23
Everybody knows that Smurfs are allergic to Lightning bolts.
Okie St 41 Texas 37
Gundy goes into Austin and slaughters that steer! Somewhere UGA is crying in appreciation for the 2018 incident. He can sleep now. The cow no longer wants to eat him. Sleep well puppy, sleep well!!!
Tennessee 27 Florida 26
Yeah, Yeah, I know. This is absurd. But for some reason I’ve convinced myself this Florida team is just not that good. I’m not convinced that win over Kentucky was a good win. I don’t think Kentucky is that good. I think Florida’s lack of talent is catching up to my Gators. I hope I’m wrong, but I got a terrible feeling that Tennessee is better than their losses and will play their best—and the Gators will look like they are running in quick sand. But hopefully I am wrong and Trask is the answer. Either way, the idea of Rocky Top coming into Gainesville and winning is about as sickening as Georgia hoisting the CFP trophy at the end of the year!!!!
Padre is headed back to the swirling pool at BWW noting that last prediction was causing him to go into a relapse……
ZT just had the hottest Mexican shrimp dish ever….can’t pronounce it but had the word “diablo” twice in the name…..Ready to finish the Week 4 prognostications since I won’t be able to sleep until Tuesday….
ZT’s Full Portion Prognostications
#7 ND Fighting Irish 17 # 3 Georgia Bulldogs 38
In the words of Jermaine FunnyMaine ( check him out on YouTube with his “How Bama Fans watched Week XX” series ) ” Run da Bawl” Georgia!!! ND has a legit pass defense so best way to loosen that up is with a heavy dose of GA RB D’Andre ” I don’t like Taylor” Swift and the 3-man gang that backs him up. Bulldog QB Fromm can also utilize TE Eli “Don’t Cry” Wolf to keep the Pope’s boys honest before a few long balls are tossed. For the Irish, they simply need a miracle in a foreign land. NO Touchdown Jesus in Athens but doesn’t mean they couldn’t pray for frogs, locust, or anything to slow down the Dogs. Heard from the clouds talking to ND HC Brian Kelly before the game: “Oh Ye of TOO MUCH faith, if you could not part the Red Sea in South Bend, what makes you believe you can do it in Athens?”
#11 Michigan Wolverines 20 #13 Wisconsin Badgers 27
Harboob and the Wuskarines ( after 2 tighter than expected games against MTSU & Army) head into the land of Beer and Cheese to find a group of badgers that have outscored their 1st 2 chumps, I mean Million dollar opponents 110 – 0. Day of reckoning is here for one of these. Michigan needs to get over the hump and win it while Wisconsin looks to bounce back from a disappointing 8-5 campaign in 2018. Something has to give. Wiscy Defense has improved and RB Taylor is for real. Michigan has to stop the turnovers ( 5 in first 2 games ). Home team is currently on a 3-0 run and Wisconsin believes the streak continues…..After the game, Harbaugh goes to a bar and orders a Mango White Claw Seltzer and is then mistaken for Caitlin Jenner…..rough night….
#8 Auburn Tigers 21 #17 Texas A & M Aggies 24
How good are the Tigers? The Gus Bus will make the trip to College Station for their SEC opener. Auburn has never lost at Kyle Field in 3 visits. This one will not be easy with Freshmen QB Bo Nix making his first road game start but he will have support from a trio of running backs and a solid defense. Aggies have one of the toughest schedules in the country but an experienced QB in Kellen Mond and Freshman RB Spiller. Add in the home field, a solid run defense and the 12th man for one of the most evenly matched games of the day. VERY tight game but a slight nod to the home team in this one. In the post game presser, Gus says ” I only have one comment, we didn’t score enough points to win today!”……..
Tennessee Volunteers 17 #9 Florida Gators 27
ZT was in his Hot Tub Time Machine ( which includes a cooler for Bud Light Platinum ) and went back to the early 2000’s when this was THE game in the East after the divisional split in 1992. ZT didn’t stay long because my hair grew out and my Bud Light Platinums turned into Busch……So the Gator nation is trying to determine what kind of team they really have, particularly after the injury to QB Franks. At the helm will be QB Kyle “take out the” Trask but expect the Gator D to step up in this one. Vols know what they have and it ain’t good but this is the perfect time for a rebound from a shaky start. Too bad the trip back to Knoxville will suck for the soon to be 1-3 Vols. In a post game interview, HC Pruitt says “The Better Team Won Today” to which ESPN announcer Allison Williams responds ” Are you auditioning to play Captain Obvious?”
ZT Snack Picks
Southern Miss Golden Eagles 12 BAMA 49
TUA no shows after Dolphins reach out and offer him $100 million to leave NOW and the Tide does not cover, again. Saban says it was NOT the money but the students leaving early that caused this….
#4 LSU TIGAHS 45 Vandy 17
Tigahs look like one of the best teams in the county. Between Coach O learning new words every week and QB Joe Burrow in the Heisman talk, ZT likes everything they are doing. Vandy needed a rest after being pounded by Georgia and Purdue….unfortunately 1 week isn’t enough. Commodores console themselves by working on the Riemann Hypothesis and drinking Pomegranate Juice. LSU celebrates by doing keg stands and using a jock strap as a sling shot to catch Boudin Balls (just makes more sense in a jock)
UCLA Bruins 19 #19 Washington State Cougars 41
WSU is ready and HC Leach notes a ” UCLA breakthrough can happen at any time” Cougars are 3-0 after a nice road win at Houston. The only “breaktrough” ZT sees is likely related to the San Andreas fault and may be a better ending for HC Chip Kelly than what will likely happen to him by season’s end. After the game, Kelly complains about the spot on a 4th and 1 they did not convert. Leach retorts ” Chip, they’re not going to make yardsticks any shorter in the near future!”
#16 Oregon Ducks 38 Stanford Cardinal 21
Ducks waddled all over 2 teams after the heart breaking loss to Auburn in the opener. NICE RECOVERY thanks to AFLAC!! The Tree Farm looks more like stumps this season and expect them to be ground down to nubs this week. Oregon uniform of the week is called the “Nike Vapor Fusion” which can’t be worn in California due to a new anti-vaping law.
#23 California Golden Bears 20 Ole Miss Rebels/Landsharks/Akbars 21
Cal got a special exception signed by the Governor to allow them to travel to one of the 7 states they have on their “travel ban” list started by former CA Governor Jerry ” moonbeam” Brown ( who is the keynote speaker at the Area 51 raids this weekend ). Gary Danielson was to cover the Area 51 event and was arrested when someone asks him for directions to Reno and he says ” Go 69 to Big Beaver and when you see Slippery Dick’s Halfway Inn…..” He was tazed at that moment……
Louisville Cardinals 31 FSU Seminoles 30 Upset Special
Cardinals have won 2 against both halves of Kentucky ( Eastern and Western ) after an opening loss to ND. FSU looked better in a loss to Virginia and that really tells you what the Seminoles have become……A group that does not work or fight hard enough and spends too much time running casinos where “looking better” is acceptable……..
ZT headed to Sonic for an Oreo Sonic Blast to cool off the double diablo special that is still percolating beyond any help a hand full of Tums can provide……
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 