Got to love a #1 vs. #2 in November ( or 2 vs. 3 if you buy into the 1st CFP ranking ) With a rare exception, a loss in November is fatal to one’s chance to be part of the CFP picture.
We also saw the 1st of the 2019 coaching buyouts happen this week……don’t worry, more to come but hopefully not until December!
ZT did make the annual fair for some excellent eating as noted in last week’s edition…..got a few photos for you….
Clockwise from top….. An Elephant Ear…. A Fried Moon Pie…..A Fried Twinkie….and ZT’s favorite….The Dilly Dog which is a hollowed out dill pickle with Hot Dog inside and fried up Corn Dog style…..
The Padre has secluded himself on top of Mt. Gainesville and will not come down or prognosticate until his Gators are back in the Win column ( i.e. look for him back next week).
Full Portion Prognostications
#2 LSU Tigahs vs. #3 Bama… got to read for the score…
Noting Tua is listed as a “game time decision” but all reports are he is good to go, so ZT will focus on the game assuming a very healthy Hawaiian QB. LSU has had this one circled since about 1 am on 11/4/2018. This game could be as epic as 2011, when defense was still en vogue and the Tigahs won a 9-6 battle in T-Town as Miles and Saban were still holding out on the RPO craze. Fast forward to 2019 and expect a result closer to 39-36!! LSU HC Ed “Cajun Rosetta Stone Founder” Orgeron has assembled a solid offense behind Heisman contender QB Joe Burrow and finally has a balanced pass-run game. ZT loves RB Clyde Edwards-Helaire at 5-8, 209 lbs. @ almost 6 yds/carry. He is like trying to tackle a baby rhino that just took a butter bath!! LSU defense is solid although they lost a Sr. LB this week & Safety Grant “don’t smell my” Delpit is a little banged up but should be just fine by game time ( advised Bobby Boucher Jr. jumped into the transfer portal this week ). Bama offense has been working hard on the run game during Tua’s downtime with 230lb. RBs Najee Harris and Brian Robinson helping to balance the Pineapple Air Attack. In week 11, if you are not familiar with the all-star corps of WRs, ZT can only assume you play Jenga by yourself on Saturdays in a basement with no internet. Special teams will matter in this one and got to give the edge to the Tigahs. Freshman K Cade York has been a solid replacement for 2019 at 11-13 on FGs (long 48) and 45-48 on XP. Compare that to Bama K Joseph Bolovas who is 19-25 in 2 seasons and benched until the other kicker injured himself….Bama punting now up to Walk-on Ty Perine. Got a crowd ovation when he came in mid-season and credited with a legit assist on a coverage tackle as well. ZT going with Bama in a very close one at home, yes I already told you 39-36. In the event Tua does not play or re-injured in warm ups/early 1st quarter, alternate score is LSU 42 – Bama 24. As Gary Danielson was leaving the game, he was asked how it was adjusting to the time change this week. He said ” Don’t know what all the fuss is about, I have my own clock that keeps me on-time year round!”
The Gary Danielson “Year Round” Clock
#4 Penn State Nittany Lions 31 #17 Minnesota Golden Gophers 14
Do the Nittany Lions deserve to be in the Top 4 or are they about to be exposed?? Is Minnesota really that good with HC PJ Fleck ( and his new 7 year $33.5 million dollar contract & $10 million dollar buyout this year inked about 30 minutes after FSU fired Willie Taggart ) in charge or are they just a beneficiary of a weak schedule?? Best team they have played may be Georgia Southern who just took down a ranked Appy State team in NC. Gophers average 38.4 PPG & ranked #14 in FBS. PSU has just finished a tough 3-game run and is now ready for the November march to a possible CFP spot. After this one, they still have THE Ohio State University @ the Shoe with a couple of tune ups in between. QB Sean Clifford has 20 TDs to only 3 INTs and ZT expects him to improve this week with the PSU defense showing Minnesota what it’s like to play someone other than teams that seem more excited about reading poetry than playing football. ZT sees the Gophers going back in their hole in this one after being attacked by an angry pride of Lions. At the post game presser, Gophers HC Fleck says “Got Mine…how ’bout you??” and wearing what appears to be a money green mustache……
#16 K. State Wildcats 31 Texas Longhorns 30 – Upset Special
KSU HC Chris Klieman has the Purple Power Cats on a ROLL…….Nice win last week at Kansas after upsetting OU the week before (no fault of former Bama QB Jalen Hurts) when a lot of teams could/would have dropped an egg!! QB Skylar Thompson is a solid passer and only 2nd to Hurts ( did I mention he is former Bama QB?) for QB rushing TDs in the Big 12. Texas HC Tom Herman will need his defense, whose injuries rival the confederate army, to man-up and get on the field or it will be another long day in Austin. Could be a pivotal game in the Herman Era if the Longhorns lose. ZT calling for the upset and go ahead and call a real estate agent. Bevo is caught on camera putting the world’s largest flaming bag of Bull Poo on Herman’s front porch Saturday Night…….
#18 Iowa Hawkeyes 13 #13 Wisconsin Badgers 24
Basically this is a Big10 West elimination game with both teams 2 back of Minnesota ( until the PSU game is over ). Wiscy was in the CFP chat until a pair of losses, including an Illini upset & then an OSU beatdown, made them a team only to be discussed in the land of cheese and Old Milwaukee beer. How do they respond after a week off?? Iowa bounced back nicely after dropping a pair to Michigan & Penn State, with wins over Purdue and NW ( NW does not deserve to have their full name published in this elite blog they are so bad ). ZT expects this to be more of a defensive battle as the Hawkeyes focus on stopping RB Jonathan Taylor and trying to force QB Jack “my wiener dog wears a” Coan to win it. If the Badgers defense plays to potential, which is more like rabid badgers vs. pet store badgers, it will be a long day for Iowa. ZT believes Wiscy fans will be jumping around in the Camp Randall House of Pain by the end of this one!!
ZT Quick Pick Snacks
FSU Seminoles 28 Boston College Eagles 31 Upset Special
Willie Taggart is now running an airboat for a tour company in the Okefenokee Swamp…….honestly it has better longevity than being a HC at FSU since they are STILL living off the past ( it has happened before at the best of programs ). Interim HC Odell Haggins Jr. will revive the role he served for a few games in 2017 just in time to travel to Boston. Eagles coming off a nice bounce back win on the road at Syracuse. ZT believes it will be tea party in Boston this week….
Willie Taggart taking a group of extreme line dancers on a swamp tour
Western Kentucky Hilltoppers 28 Arkansas Turkey Sausages 27 Upset Special
Why would ZT even prognosticate this one? Because when ARK HC Chad Morris GUARANTEED a win last week and got thumped by Miss. State to go to 0-6 since mid-September, ZT just had to chime in. ZT notes anything about ARK going forward is “AS IS and Buyer Beware” with no guarantee of anything. WKU on a 2-game slide but needs just 1 win to become bowl eligible. Even though not the explosive WKU offense we have seen in past few years, ZT thinks this may be the week for a Conference USA team to get a signature win. Minor upset because losing to ARK this year should be upsetting enough……
Best job for Arkansas Swine after Graduation…
Vandy 10 Florida Gators 38
Smart Guys vs. Mean Guys…… Smart Guys know better than to mess with an injured Gator. Will be a moral & financial victory for the ‘Dores faithful by being a little closer than Vegas thinks….. Vandy HC Derek Mason says after the game ” I was MADE for Vandy……but I wasn’t made for this!!”
Missouri Tigers 17 Georgia Bulldogs 34
Tigers were doing well until the media fed them some Rat Poison about being in the driver’s seat in the SEC East a few weeks ago. They proceeded to drop games to Vandy and Kentucky. The can ACT like they are still in it after a week off and hopefully catch the Bulldogs still partying in JAX!! REALITY CHECK…Bulldogs will whip the tigers worse than the old Ring Master at the Circus ( Ring Master was eaten in the center ring last week after PETA filed a lawsuit and had his whip replaced with a soft, soothing whistle ). After the game, UGA pees on the Mizzou male cheerleaders noting he is just “marking his territory” between the hedges in Athens….
#15 Notre Dame Fighting Irish 31 Duke Blue Devils 23
Luck of the Irish still alive after they snuck out a win vs. Va. Tech last week. 1st time ND has been to Durham since 1961. Dukies are as up and down as a toilet seat in a coed bathroom ( was going to say “as a Madam in a 2-story brothel” but didn’t think that was appropriate in a Catholic vs. Methodist matchup ) …… Duke HC David Cutcliffe will see if dual-threat QB Quentin Harris can help the Blue Devils go over 200 yds. rushing while the Irish will count on QB Ian Book to lead the charge with help from returning RB Jafar Armstrong ( yes, confirmed he was conceived in the back seat of a 1976 Plymouth Valiant at a Drive-In while his parents were “watching” the movie Aladdin so they named him Jafar…) to balance the offense. Believe the Irish capitalize on some Duke TOs and stay in the hunt for NY6 Bowl.
#5 Clemson Tigers 41 N.C. State Wolfpack 14
Ho Hum…..another Dabo destruction of an ACC ( Average College Coalition ) opponent before they finish the regular season with Wake Forest and South Carolina….. Wolfpack plays more like a litter of kittens at Petsmart ( hmmm 2nd pet store reference this week )…… HC Dave Doeren takes the team to see the movie Hangover and then tells the team in pregame prep ” I used to be a one-man wolfpack until I joined you guys and now we are an 86-man Wolfpack!!”……AD mumbles but picked up on a hot mic ” Keep losing and you will be back to a one-man wolfpack pal!”
Iowa State Cyclones 21 Oklahoma Sooner 42
Boomer Schooner is repaired from the crash vs. West Virginia just in time for a Cyclone to come through Norman…. ISU has won or been competitive in about every game this year. OU, led on offense by former Bama QB Hurts, had its worse defensive outing of the year vs. KSU. DC Alex Grinch has had 2 weeks to plug those holes. He will need to as ISU QB Brock “my sister ain’t” Purdy is better than most OU has played. Sooners need some style points to get back into the CFP committee’s good graces. This one, in Norman at Night, is a good opportunity to do just that. Expect OU to take the wind out of the Cyclones early…..
Burnt Entrée
Maryland Terrapins at THE Ohio State University
ONLY reason to watch this one is you like winners and you are winning so much but not yet tired of winning. OSU #1 for a reason and has been ZT’s #1 for multiple weeks. Just trust ZT and wait until they play Penn State and Michigan instead of wasting your time on this one.
ZT’s suggested activities vs. watching this cooking of turtle soup:
Drink 5 Redbulls and try to watch 3.5 straight hours of CSPAN.
Get a 12-pack of Bud Light Platinum ( yep, you will need the 6% ) and see how many decimal places you can calculate Pi out to in 3.5 hours.
Attempt to find any quote by Brian Griese that sounds intelligent or take a shot of tequila for each 10 minute period you are unsuccessful. Expect to pass out sometime early in hour 3.
Go to a Doc-in-the-Box, sit in the waiting room ( don’t check in ) with a bottle of Alka-Seltzer and when anyone sits near you, take 2 with a ginger ale chaser. While foaming from the mouth, tell the other patients “Its ok, it was just a raccoon bite”. Enjoy your ride in the police car as well.
ZT headed to T-Town to witness the big SEC battle in person……hoping the President only stays for 1st half as he did at SEC championship when Bama played Georgia….worked out well for Bama in the 2nd half…..
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 