CFP rankings out…..lots of “discussion” that can be less civil than Trump tweeting about Pelosi!
Right out of the gate #3 Bama and #4 Penn State go down and reset the Top 8 in the 2nd CFP ranking as follows: 1) LSU TIGAHS 2) THE Ohio State University 3) Clemson 4) Georgia Bulldogs 5) Bama 6) Oregon Duck 7) Utah Utes 8) Minnesota
Why would ZT restate the CFP Rankings? For a few weeks, ZT has predicted the final 4 will be LSU, OSU, Clemson, and the winner of Oregon/Utah Punk-12 game. OK, I know that is really 5 so ZT is treating the Oregon/Utah deal like a horse race with 4 and 4a but its early enough to prognosticate with a 4a so in the words of LSU HC Ed Oregon “F’ You Too!”
Padre is still on Mt. Gainesville even though the Gators took care of the Commodores last week. Indicated the rumbles of Bob Stoop possibly going to FSU was so blasphemous based on his relationship with Spurrier that he just needed more time alone……
ZT back from some business travel and consumed food from 7 fast food establishments in 48 hours……..perfect preparation for an ALL CHAOS prognostication….
Full Portion CHAOTIC Prognostications
#23 Navy Midshipmen 24 #16 Notre Dame Fighting Irish 21 – Chaos Special #1
Navy has been pushing through pretty calm waters but is about to test the strength of their hull against rougher seas starting with the Fighting Irish. While the Irish are 73-18-1 in the series, Navy has bounced back from a 3-10 2018 campaign, are nationally ranked AND fired up to bring the Triple Option to South Bend!! Midshipmen defense allows only 18 PPG but ( and you got to always dig deeper with stats ) jumps to 33 PPG vs. teams with winning records! ( Yep, ZT loves to mine data and eat anything not allowed in public schools! ). Look for Ian “there is no friend as loyal as a” Book ( are you kidding me? ZT worked in an Ernest Hemingway quote this week?!? ) to be able to mix it up against a Navy defense that is ok against the Long Ball but a bit vulnerable against the run and mid-level vs. RPO…..ZT enjoys teams that can successfully grind it out and there are only a few these days. Navy QB Malcolm Perry has only thrown 53 passes but has 3 consecutive 1,000 yd rushing seasons and although only 5’9″, he has found paydirt 16 times and averages 6.6 YPC!! Lots of miracles involving water ( from Moses parting the Red Sea, etc. ) and this sets up well for Navy’s chance to be the next one. ZT sees ND being a bit off-center (noting they will NOT be in the CFP picture) and believes Navy will cast their nets off the right side of the boat to catch ND and pull of the upset in South Bend!! TD Jesus will shed a single tear as time expires….
#4 Georgia Bulldogs 24 #12 Auburn Tigers 27 – Chaos Special #2
HUGE game in the SEC and CFP!! Bulldogs need to keep winning and these situations can generate new “fans” with teams like Oregon & Bama cheering for hated rivals, even Auburn, to improve their own CFP position. This is the oldest rivalry in the SEC. Key battle will be the Georgia O-Line vs. the Auburn D-Line. This is set to be a trench warfare game. Georgia is recognized as a great running team but Auburn’s stats are actually better….Passing stats similar, particularly with Bo “Knows” Nix at home but Jake “I love your Hot Mom” Fromm is no slouch when he gets in the groove. Defenses are both solid. Home field is a big deal, particularly in Jordan-Hare this year, and noting this is AU’s 4th Top 10 match up of the year, ZT likes another upset at “the loveliest village on the plains” this weekend…..plus, it provides MORE CHAOS in the CFP!!!
Gary Danielson never makes the game. He goes to Pannie-George’s Kitchen in Auburn because he heard about their famous fried chicken & soul food ( assume he believes he can grow a soul….). Waitress tells him about the daily specials and ask if he has any questions. Gary says ” How big are your breasts and do you put anything special on them?” EMTs were still treating his injuries as of this writing…
#8 Minnesota Golden Gophers 24 #20 Iowa Hawkeyes 20 – Chaos Special #3
Minnesota rowed the boat over the naysayers ( ZT got hit by the rudder ) last week taking out Penn State and what are their 2 rewards? 1) #7 CFP ranking BUT a Vegas underdog vs. the Hawkeyes 2) Too many people asking why they are not ranked even higher!!! Gophers, listen to ZT very closely: FOCUS ON THE TASK AT HAND!!!….go out and beat Iowa and do not drink the Rat Poison of your own press corps! Hawkeyes have the capability to “break your glass slipper Cinderella!!” Gophers have the #4 QB in the country with Tanner “I drink Captain” Morgan. It doesn’t help that Iowa will still be missing 3 starters in this contest but Iowa City is not an easy place to do anything, particularly play football. Tipping point for ZT, when researching this one, too many basketball articles on Iowa vs. football. Gophers in a close one!!
#10 Oklahoma Sooners 34 #13 Baylor Bears 38 – Chaos Special #4
ZT is a big fan of former Bama QB Jalen Hurts and his positive impact on the Sooners. The world has almost handed LSU’s Joe Burrow the Heisman but let’s take a quick review of Hurts’ stats. 73% on pass completions with 24 TDs and only 4 INTs along with over 800 yards rushing and 15 more TDs on the ground. Much more solid than the suspension on the Boomer Schooner!! Early in the season, ZT thought OU may have solved its defensive issues that cost them in the 2018 CFP but with 89 points hung on them in the last 2 games, it appears the OU trainers have been feeding their defenders a lot of Swiss Cheese! OU leads this series 25-3 but all of Baylor’s wins have come in this decade! Baylor has 5 wins by 8 points or less this season and that experience will be needed this week. Bears QB Charlie Brewer came out of his shell in the TCU OT game and this has the makings of a break out week for him. Brewer & the Bears offense will have to be aggressive and error-free if Baylor is to win this one. The key is the Baylor Defense, particularly controlling the run. Baylor is +6 in the T.O. department and will need 2+ on Saturday to pull this off. OU lost RB Trey Sermon to injury in the last game so expect even a bigger dose of Jalen, if that is possible. ZT just has a gut feel that Waco will be rocking when this one is done….
The PADRE has descended all 42 feet down from Mt. Gainesville with a clear mind and 2 stone tablets of prognostications so here we go:
Mizzou 26 Florida 24
Until we beat them, I’m convinced they are our daddy! Heck, they beat us worse than Georgia every year and are a different team in Columbia. — But if we lose, I’ll still be furious because we shouldn’t lose to them ( even with Kelly Bryant back ). The sofa pillow next to me will NOT be safe!!!
Georgia 24 Auburn 13
I hate Georgia so much. Jesus said I should love my enemy, but have you seen my enemies? One of them has a fire engine red as a color, their logo is copied from the Green Bay Packers, and their mascot is a cuddly, lazy bulldog. And the other enemy is FSU— I don’t need to say anything other than that. It’s like saying Voldemort. Suddenly Death Eaters appear trying to suck your soul. I know, I know. Jesus loves them all….But I bet he doesn’t like them……
Iowa 27 Minnesota 21
Fleck is amazing but he rows his boat of Gophers into a classic letdown game.
HC PJ Fleck rowing back to up the Mississippi River after the Loss..
Oklahoma 41 Baylor 40
Baylor goes for 2 point conversion late and doesn’t get it. Best thing to come from Waco? Not the Bears!! Christian artist David Crowder!! If you don’t know who David Crowder is then you need to stop this football idol worship and get right with Jesus. But when you do that, remember, you gotta love Georgia and FSU. The cross to bear is severe!!!
UCLA 31 Utah 30 – Upset of the Week
Chip Kelly gets to .500 and takes over 1st Place in the Pac 12 South. Yes, you read that correctly.
Padre is now headed to a 48-hour intense session on forgiveness lead by a minister from Pittsburgh who will teach while handcuffed to Cleveland’s Myles Garrett.
ZT Quick Snack Selections……. with a little less chaos
# 1 LSU Tigahs 42 Ole Miss Rebels/Bears/Admiral Ackbars 24
LSU HC Ed “F’ You” Orgeron is loving life…..and he should after beating Bama in T-Town! Tigahs do have lots of banged up guys noting at least 7 went down during the Bama game ( reminds me of a typical night in a Bourbon Street Bar ). State of Louisiana is so fired up even the Governor called Coach O and claimed he understood everything he said ( typical politician )….. Ole Miss HC Matt Luke is on some shaky ground and had a couple of WRs leave this week over playing time ( get ready America, with all the NCAA changes, this is going to be much more common in the future ). Will admit Ole Miss defense is better than you would expect from a 4-6 squad and the question is: Are the Tigahs mature enough to stay focused after a big win and keep control of their own destiny?? ZT says YES!!!
#25 Indiana Hoosiers 17 #9 Penn State Nittany Lions 38
Hoosiers……yes, this is football we are talking about. Commendable for HC Tom Allen getting this team to 7-2 but lost their Freshman QB Michael “yes my last name ends with a x!” Penix to surgery but Jr. Peyton Ramsey has performed well. Penn State has to be flawless down the stretch to have a CFP shot after losing to Minny last week. This is no longer a trap game (after the loss to Minny) noting they play OSU in The Shoe next week but still worth noting. ZT loves the statement by PSU DT Mustipher who said ” we can’t let Minnesota beat us twice!” indicating they are working to rebound and play Nittany Lions football. ZT buys it and sees PSU getting their mojo back this week against a good Indiana team….
#5 Bama 38 Mississippi State Bulldogs 28
What happens when an Elephant gets injured? They start a stampede and looks like some Bulldogs in Starkville will get trampled this weekend. Look for Tua to ride the pine ( based on his limping off the field last week ) while back up QB Mac “and Cheese” Jones gets a W but closer than Vegas sees it. Fun stat…QB Tua “Pineapple Express” Tagovailoa ( State has added spelling his name properly as a requirement for 1st graders to advance to 2nd grade….spelling his 1st name is a college course..) has more 400 yard passing games this season than all other Bama QBs in history combined ( for some perspective, Cleveland HC & future WWE manager Freddie Kitchens is 10th all time in Bama passing )….
#11 Florida Gators 31 Missouri Tigers 27
Who is Mizzou?? Tigers offense has been locked in a cage only scoring a total of 21 points in the last 3 games…. Key difference this week is QB Kelly Bryant returning but the question is can he knock off the rust and come out on fire?….ZT thinks not and Gators more than ready to eat some tiger meat….Anything left will get tossed in the dumpster and taken away by UF’s Trask & company….
Wake Forest Demon Deacons 17 #3 Clemson Tigers 52
ZT would love to throw this one in the chaos mix but it just ain’t gonna happen!! Demon Deacons may not have been “aWake” last week in Blacksburg and could have been simply a case of looking ahead….. OR was it they looked ahead at Clemson and saw they have outscored their last 4 opponents 218 to 41 forcing WF to review Clemson film before the Va Tech game?? Either way, not good. At the weekly presser, Dabo was stating how they respect all their ACC (Average College Collection) opponents and expect a hard fought battle this week and then he stopped, looked at the camera and said ” I can’t keep saying this crap!!! We are going to beat them so hard, their kids will be born dizzy!!” and then threw the mic at a reporter from Twisted Hillbilly Magazine…..
Michigan State 10 #16 Michigan Wolverines 31
Spartans have given up and been turned into Eunuchs. Wolverines will eat the rest of the parts that have not been previously removed. UM and Coach Khaki look like they have recovered nicely after a mid-October loss to Penn State. Good to have a tune up vs. a rival before finishing with Indiana and OSU.
Brian Griese spotted at a local museum eating a corn dog
Arizona Wildcats 21 #6 Oregon Ducks 48
Punk-12 CFP candidate #1 is Oregon. Ducks keep winning and with 2 of final 3 at home, should not have issues with a couple of teams from AZ and a sore beaver ( stop it, I am talking about Oregon State!) in the final week of the regular season.
UCLA Bruins 13 #7 Utah Utes 35
Punk-12 CFP candidate #2 is Utah. ZT loves Utah down the stretch…..Bruins fans more worried about the wealth tax and other Peoples Republic of California stuff vs. winning….. Utes are ready after a week off and trying to help Corso’s pre-season prediction come true before he is sent to the nursing home….
Burnt Entrée offering
#2 Ohio State Buckeyes vs. Rutgers Scarlet Knights
The Vegas line opened with THE Ohio State University favored by 51 points ( one of the largest spreads ever ) but more intriguing to ZT was the Total points set at 55……this indicates a final score of 53-2 and even though the spread has changed, reality has NOT: An OSU practice is more competitive than this one so don’t waste your time knowing you can watch games vs. Penn State and Michigan in the next 2 weeks.
So instead of watching this one, ZT recommends considering one of the following activities:
Follow joggers in your car with the windows down and play “Eye of the Tiger’ at full volume..
Watch 3.5 hours of Cookie Monster clips on YouTube in an effort to be able to understand everything LSU HC Orgeron will say at the SEC Championship….
Write down the name of every girl you wanted to make out with in high school and then review it, in great detail, with your wife/girlfriend……
Go to the tallest building in your city, ride the elevator for 3.5 hours and ask random people ” did you just fart?”…..you must be wearing a tank top and a trucker hat that says ” I pee in pools”
ZT going to eat attempt to eat something made with Turkey at every meal this weekend as prep work for Thanksgiving……
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 