A lot of teams getting ready for their rivalry games with a few exceptions. ZT is going “light” this week as well after the overload of processed delicacies last week caused a chemical reaction leading him to pick a heavy dose of “Chaos”. Pretty sure a key component was the Steamer Pack of Krystal Burgers with Louisiana Hot Sauce. ZT notes NOTHING at Krystal is plant-based protein and pretty sure more chemicals in this stuff than at a DuPont factory.
ZT plans to be a bit healthier this week in anticipation of the upcoming Thanksgiving Feast. Not the food feast but the cornucopia of football we have coming but got to get past this week first so here we go…..
Full Portion Prognostications ( only 2 noting Thanksgiving is next week! )
#9 Penn State Nittany Lions 17 #2 Ohio State Buckeyes 38
THE Ohio State Buckeyes ( still ZT’s #1 ) have no intentions of being denied this week in their last regular season home game of 2019 including the return of star DE Chase “I WILL eat your” Young. The Nittany Lions have been exposed a bit but HC James Franklin can still shock the CFP with a Win and take control of the Big10 East. Biggest issue in this one is rumors the Buckeye fans will boycott ESPN Gameday in favor of FOX’s Big Noon Kickoff….something about SEC bias….. ZT believes it doesn’t matter if the OSU faithful skip both to go watch live video of Sasquatch getting a bikini wax. Ryan Day and the Buckeyes will win this one and turn north toward Ann Arbor by 4pm Saturday
Texas Longhorns 28 #13 Baylor Bears 31
Longhorns are 6-4 after losing to Iowa State last week while Baylor did the unthinkable by blowing a 28-3 lead and losing to OU ( lead by former Bama QB Jalen Hurts ). So the question is: Which team bounces back this week? Texas needs both parts of its offense to work for either to work and this won’t be easy against a stingy Bear defense. Key to stopping Baylor is to keep QB Charlie Brewer from running. Once OU adjusted last week, they shut the Bears offense down. ZT thinks it will be tighter than a camel’s ass in a sandstorm with Baylor winning in Waco.
“What did ZT just say about me??”
ZT Quick Snack Selections
#12 Michigan Wolverines 27 Indiana Hoosiers 21
Harbaugh and the Wolverines face a pesky group of Hoosiers who have earned 7 wins this year with 2 of their 3 losses coming against OSU and Penn State. With a home game vs. arch rival OSU next week, perfect trap game for Michigan. ZT thinks not with UM QB Shea “Butter” Patterson making enough plays to win this one and allow Indiana to focus on Hoops and a possible trip to the Music City Bowl.
TCU Horned Frogs 21 #8 Oklahoma Sooners 42
Horned Frogs watch the film of OU’s comeback vs. Baylor last week ( lead by former Bama QB Jalen Hurts….did you know that’s where he learned to play ball? ) and say “why even try?” After the game, announcer Brian Griese kisses a frog noting he has heard “good things can come from this”. Apparently he uses his tongue. The frog vomits and PETA files a crimes against nature complaint against Griese……..
#6 Oregon Ducks 31 Arizona State Sun Devils 24
This is a sneaky one…..Herm Edwards and his Sun Devils will make this one closer than Vegas and many smell an upset in the making. In the end, QB Herbert and his brood of Ducks look to make a CFP statement so the committee will forget about their opening day loss to Auburn and the Bo Nix Magic show. Nike founder Phil Knight tries to motivate the Ducks by promising special uniforms if they make the playoffs until a staffer whispers ” you give them new uniforms 3 times a week already”…….
# 7 Utah Utes 48 Arizona Grumpy Cats 10
AZ QB Khalil Tate was to be the Punk-12 superstar but Utes QB Tyler Huntley has become his Obi-Wan. Add Utah RB Zach “you shouldn’t try to smoke” Moss en route to another 1,000 yard season and just too much for ‘Zona. AZ HC Kevin Sumlin is seen chugging Fireball at halftime. When asked why he says ” in Fireball’s defense, I’ve done enough dumb sh#$ while completely sober so why not….”
#21 SMU Mustangs 35 Navy Midshipmen 31 – Upset Special
Navy got sunk last week in South Bend while SMU had a bye following a struggle win over ECU Pirates ( know a guy that went there ) after losing to Memphis the prior week. This is a key game in the AAC West Division. ZT sees SMU and it’s gang of transfer portal mustang rescues knocking off the midshipmen in Annapolis. After the game, SMU band plays a Village People tune just to rub it in a bit……
Village People singing “In the Navy”
#24 Texas A & M Aggies 21 #4 Georgia Bulldogs 24
Aggie HC Jimbo Fisher has to be frustrated with one of the toughest schedules in the nation……..oh yea, forgot how much he makes, he is just fine. Get’s no easier with the Bulldogs this week and LSU next; both of these are on the road. GA HC Kirby ” I really ain’t that” Smart has to refocus quickly after beating Auburn on the road last week. ZT thinks it will be close….really close but the Bulldogs K Rodrigo Blankenship seals it with a late FG to avoid CFP Chaos. Got to love his glasses……keeps him from having a girlfriend which is perfect because no kicker needs one of those during the season!!!!!
Gary Danielson is spotted at a GNC in Athens purchasing Yohimbe Bark & Horny Goat Weed. When asked why he said: “Because I thought my wife said it might help with my TV problems!”…. the clerk turns toward his wife with confused look and she says “ It’s your ED problem you moron!!!”
Boston College Eagles #15 Notre Dame Fighting Irish – NO PICK…..
No Pick on this one…..ZT had a selection ready but received a divine message from a large Cumulus Cloud to stay out of the Holy War……the deep voice said ” Do Not Even turn on NBC or you will turn into a Pillar of Salt”…… May have been the Padre with a Speaker mounted on a Drone but ZT ain’t taking a chance!!!!!!
UCLA Bruins 30 USC Trojans 31
Who CARES!…but ZT will pick it………. In fairness, Trojans have rallied to 7-4 including a signature win over Utah ( allows Trojans to be sold back in a respectable place Walgreens vs. those only those vending machines at the Busy Bee truck stop ). The Bruins just suck. Funny thing is even with a win, USC HC Clay “Aiken” Helton likely gets fired anyway…Perfect story line for Hollywood.
Western Carolina Catamounts 13 #5 Bama ( no way Bama is #5 ) 49
Tua has more supporters from across the country than Rudy Ruettiger did in South Bend in the that movie where he was offsides on the sack ( if under todays rules, video replay reverses it and no movie ). Bama QB Mac “and cheese” Jones hates that name and hopes to play so well his nickname changes to Big Mac. Bama wins big on Senior Day and starts looking toward the Iron Bowl. Local police temporarily restrain WCU mascot near a fraternity party because his name is “Paws the Catamount”. They advise it was for his own protection……
#1 LSU Tigahs (per ESPN being so SEC biased) 52 Arkansas Plant-Based Sausage 10
This one almost made the Burnt Entrée category but just hearing Coach O talk before, during, and after a game almost removes this one from the list……the clincher? Special Deal at Arkansas this week: $25 gets you a sideline pass and you are allowed to call 3 offensive plays……… Arkansas covers the Vegas Line after a 6-year old wearing a pig soooie hat with one of those special passes calls for a fake punt in the 4th quarter that goes for a TD and covers….
Burnt Entrée
BYU Cougars -40.5 vs. U. Mass Minutemen
Mormons vs. Minutemen……one of the worst games of the year….BYU is irrelevant even in Utah and UMass with 1st year HC Walt “Please Ring the” Bell “so I can tap out” ( they are 1-10 and he has made 6 QB changes already this season ). No need to watch this when you have the following options on a Saturday:
Try to calculate the exact hour you will die based on your BMI, Cholesterol, and A1C while enjoying a Cookies and Cream Milk Shake and a Corn Dog at Sonic….
Watch 3.5 hours of Doctor Pimple Popper ( a real show if you didn’t know this ) while attempting to eat a tray of Pimple Cup Cakes….
Eat at 7 fast food restaurants in 48 hours ( Never mind, DON’T do this as it causes a chemical imbalance making one think they can pick 4 MAJOR upsets in NCAA football in 1 weekend )…
Research every APP that promises to help you break your social media addiction…
Get a tattoo that you hope will land you on a “Worst Tattoo Ever” site…remember the competition is fierce!
ZT is out and headed to Dr. Billy’s House of Herbs to purchase everything needed for a 24 hour “cleanse” in advance of the upcoming Thanksgiving Holiday…..also requires a stop at Bed, Bath, and Beyond…….
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 