IT IS HERE!!! SEC FOOTBALL

Before we go to the SEC,  let’s talk about the Big 10 games this week….. Ok, check that one off!!!!

Well, we could talk about the Punk-12………………I forgot,  they are scared to start until after the Presidential Election…

Well, let’s just get to it as ZT has to finish his competitive eating challenge….

#2 Bama -27.5 at Mizzou Tigers

Mizzou comes in with a new HC Eli Drinkwitz ( ZT loves that name! ) fresh off a big run at Appy State. Welcome to the SEC!!!! Add to drawing an opener vs. Bama, Tigers have a number of players out with Covid (heard they were at a Keg Party at Lake of the Ozarks looking to score some “Bahama Broccoli” from Miss Ruth). Bama QB Mac “and Cheese” Jones has a few games under his belt after some guy from HI got injured in 2019. He will have some horsepower with RBs Najee Harris and Brian Robinson along with WR DeVonta Smith. Expect to see a few new faces as well. Defense will see LB Dylan “I ain’t that” Moses along with D-Linemen Ray and Dale returning to the trenches. Mizzou mum on the QB but likely TCU transfer Robinson. Mizzou D is anchored by LB Nick “Little Michael” Bolton but should not be a match for the Tide. Original Tiger schedule eased in with 4 cupcake games. Now they got a pack of elephants who are looking to foot stomp someone.. Bama 38 Mizzou 17

#5 Florida Gators -13.5 @ Ole Miss “whatever they are this year”

Gator HC Dan Mullen (21-5 ) is ready to get after it in 2020. Good way to start is to go visit the folks in Oxford with new HC Lane Kiffin and former UCF ( Orlando National Champions ) OC Jeff Lenny. These teams haven’t played since 2015 but they will today! UF will lead with Senior QB Kyle “Mom said take out the” Trask ( 2,941 yds. & 25 TDs in 2019 ) and a good corps of WRs!! Ole Miss D will not be bad but they were vulnerable to the pass and that is not good against the Gators! On the other side, UF D could be one of the SEC best but they will get a test from the Kiffin/Libby offense. In the end, just not enough time for Kiffin to get ready. One positive, being a noon kickoff, Joey Freshwater ( aka Kiffin ) will have time to change and make an outlawed band party at the Delta house by 9!!! Florida 38 Ole Miss 14

Mississippi State Bulldogs @ #6 LSU TIGAHS -16.5

Another SEC newby gets a nice welcome to the SEC with an opening game in Death Valley……It’s a nasty place to play as even the cardboard cutouts get drunk and smoke fatty’s!!………difference in this “newby” coach is it is the infamous Pirate Mike Leach in the house! No stats from 2019 really matter for MSU. Leach brought in a QB from Stanford in grad transfer KJ Costello and has RB Kylin Hill returning. Will be interesting to see the Bulldogs in action. For the TIGAHS, they sent 14 players to the NFL and, even with great recruiting, that is a lot to replace!!! Keep an eye on RB Chris “Hot as Phaal” Curry to carry the load with QB Myles Brennan calling the signals. One help for LSU is DC Bo “don’t press my” Pelini has faced plenty of Leach offenses over the years. ZT believes Leach will make the Bulldogs competitive but will take some time and this weekend is too quick. TIGAHS 41 Bulldogs 20

ZT is already excited about the Pregame, Halftime, and Post Game Pressers with these 2!!!!!!

After the game, Gary Danielson is abducted by a group of voodoo priestesses who were looking to practice head shrinking learned from the Jivaro tribe. After a 5 minute ride, they push him out of their mini-van at a high rate of speed on St. Charles Street and were heard yelling “It won’t work, His head is too big and his mouth will never close!”

Georgia Bulldogs -27.5 @ Arkansas Razorbacks

New era at Arkansas with HC “Honest” Sam Pittman ( ZT thinks he looks like a guy that sells used campers ). One piece of good news? Arkansas doesn’t have to travel to get this butt whipping! Even with former UF QB Feleipe “Beans and” Franks calling the signals, it will be ugly. Note he was 0-2 vs. Georgia even when he was at Florida!!! Also, Razorbacks are 3-8 in their last 11 home openers so expectations are pretty low in Fayetteville!! New QB for Bulldogs was to be Wake Forest transfer but he opted out ( assume he is headed to Punk-12 ) but will now be a battle between USC transfer JT Daniels and a redshirt freshman D’Wan Mathis. Looks like Daniels wins out because President thought “D’Wan” was South Korean money launderer and was trying to deport him. It got worked out but D’Wan lost too many reps at missed practices. Both are likely to see action this week. Besides Death and Taxes, a Georgia win this week is also inevitable. Georgia 45 Arkansas 17

#23 Kentucky Wildcats @ #8 Auburn Tigers – 7

Maybe the best match up of the day!!! KY has won 18 games in past 2 seasons and HC Mark Stoops is making nice progress at this Hoops School. We all know what the Gus Bus can do but many questions for the Tigers as we enter the 2020 Season. So, Wildcats like to run ( avg. over 278 ypg in 2019 ) and have 4 returning starters on a solid O-line to open holes for a nice group of RBs. Tiger D was stout in 2019 with multiple players going pro but should reload nicely. AU offense has the luxury of returning QB Bo Nix to lead a talented group of RBs and WRs. Big question is can the Tiger O-line jell with only 1 returning starter off an inconsistent 2019 group. ZT believes even at 20% capacity, home field works in favor of AU for the win. Auburn 28 Kentucky 23

Vandy @ #10 Texas A & M Aggies -30.5

Really? You want ZT to spend time prognosticating this one? Ok, they are playing and it won’t be close. Aggie’s gig the ‘Dores early and often with QB Kellen Mond. Vandy D is decent but just not enough. ( Hey Punk-12, still better than waiting until after freakin Halloween to play!! ). A & M 47 Vandy 10

#16 Tennessee Vols -3.5 @ South Carolina Gamecocks

Battle of Average Teams…….. Conehead Pruitt v.s Hulk Muschamp…..pretty sure both of these guys had some kind of virus in 2019 based on their performance. Pruitt got over his first after a slow start but better down the stretch. Gamecocks just sucked last year so Muschamp hired Mike Bobo to be his OC and he brought QB Collin Hill with him from Colorado State. OK…… UT has 5th year man Jarrett Guarantano ( most Vols think he was named after that prison in Cuba ) but he has had 4 OC’s in 5 years. Young but highly recruited WRs and RBs in support with a good O-line just smells better than last year. ZT says it is tight but Vols get a W on the road to open it UP VOLS 24 Gamecocks 21

ZT would have capped it here but one other game just stood out so why not…..

#94 Florida State Seminoles @ #12 Miami Hurricanes- 11

May not be a named storm in the Atlantic or Gulf of Mexico but there is something brewing in Miami. Hurricanes are looking to make it 4 in a row over FSU this week. Canes, under HC Manny Diaz, are 2-0 while FSU lost a home opener to the ramblin’ wreck of Georgia Tech. Now HC Mike “Covid-Positive ” Norvell will not be on the sideline. UM will start Houston Cougars transfer D’Erig King at QB. King, according to OC Rhett Lashlee ( former Auburn OC ) can “run, pass, dance, sing, and cook a mean steak”. FSU didn’t give up too much to G Tech but only looked average. Noles QB James Blackman is on his 4th OC and still looking for some run support to help his cause. For FSU to win, they will need a tanker truck of Testosterone and more luck than Hard Rock Stadium will provide. After the game, the Seminole Indian Tribe votes to remove their name from this team and focus on their Florida Casinos. Rumor is FSU will become The Tallahassee Football Team ( although rumor is the City of Tallahassee may protest until FSU is over .500 ). Miami 35 FSU 16

ZT is off to finish the Hot Pocket Gauntlet which means consuming all 49 flavors in a single weekend while the Padre is meeting with Carole Baskin to see if she can consult with Mullen before his Gators play the TIGAHS in a few weeks.