COVID, Presidential Election, a Hurricane named ZETA and games played on Halloween……………This is some scary stuff………I will say the only thing more frightening than making eye contact with a guy running a kiosk at an outlet mall, are SEC defenses this year. Where have they gone?!? ZT just going to chalk all this up to 2020 and we are only 61 days away from pulling the flush lever on this year! Speaking of flushing, ZT recommends you DO NOT eat a 1 lb. block of Amish cheese from a roadside stand in NW Florida and expect “business as usual”!! While we wait, lets prognosticate…….
ready after….watch out ladies!!!!!
Boston College Eagles vs. #1 Clemson Tigers
Eagles were the latest team to T-bone the Ramblin Wreck last week and now travel to Clemson for what must feel like a true horror show. But wait, then Covid strikes Tiger QB Trevor “I need more sunshine” Lawrence and we got one worth watching!! BC will be counting on QB Paul “I didn’t” Jurkovec “on the Zoom Call” to lead the charge for the 4-2 Eagles. Clemson will be without Lawrence and starting LB Skalski. SO..who starts for Tigers at QB? ZT damn sure can’t pronounce them (asking for a refund on my How to Pronounce APP!) being DJ Uiagalelei or Taisun Phommachanh….Honestly thought they were 2 straw weight UFC fighters. Dabo and squad have enough depth and drive to win this one but will be a test! Tigers 28 Eagles 20
Mississippi State Bulldogs vs. #2 BAMA
Since the LSU opening win, Air Raid has been grounded and only scored 30 points in last 3 games. Good news? Captain Leach has had a week off to get the engines tuned up. Another set back, RB Kylin Hill has “opted out” (used to be called being a quitter!). Add that to an ongoing QB struggle between Costello and Rogers it just smells bad for the Bulldogs. Bama lost WR & KR Waddle last week and that will hurt. ZT expects the ball to be in the air more than the Goodyear Blimp itself this week but with MSU ranked 98th in Turnover Margin, Bama will be able to run Najee and crew in the 2nd half en route to a win! BAMA 48 Bulldogs 31
#3 Ohio State Buckeyes vs. #18 Penn State Nittany Lions
How is one ranked in the Top 20 with no wins at the end of October? Yep, 2020 strikes again! PSU HC James Franklin”stein” will have to improve over the 10 penalty, 3 turnover performance in their loss to Indiana. Better do it quick or this will get ugly faster than Caitlyn Jenner’s towel falling off in a steam room. Nittany Lions top RB’s out as well. ZT leaves his crystal ball in the closet for this one! OSU 38 PSU 20
#5 Georgia Bulldogs vs. Kentucky Wildcats
Bulldogs had a week off after the Bama loss while KY dropped to 2-3 by losing to the Gamecocks in Columbia….Wildcat offense just not clicking and current QB uncertainty is not what the doctor would order. Someone PLEASE call HC Stoops and tell him the forward pass is NOT ILLEGAL!! Georgia needs to just run the ball and let QB Stetson (aka the mailman) deliver smaller, safer packages when he wants to, not HAS to! Noting the boys in Vegas have the total set at 41 tells you something…..mainly that the total is 41 but also that this could be some old-fashioned ( 2017 is old? ) SEC football……we will see! Bulldogs 27 Wildcats 13
Texas Longhorns vs. #6 Oklahoma State Cowboys
OSU has won 7 of last 10……. Longhorns do score points ( 45 per game ) and Cowboys do play defense ( allowing only 12 per game ). ZT has been down on Texas BUT was riding back from chasing Hurricane Zeta and the song “God Bless Texas” by Little Texas blasted out over the radio……It must be a sign! UPSET SPECIAL Longhorns 31 Cowboys 28
#20 Coastal Carolina Chanticleers vs. Georgia State Panthers
What is it with the State of South Carolina and all the cocks that scream and fight?? G. State is fresh off an upset over a decent Troy Trojans squad so…. CCC QB Grayson “1-ball” McCall is injured so expect back up QB Peyton on the field and to connect with WR Sam Denmark. Did you know if a Dane gets really drunk, they say they are “chicken drunk” and “fairly withered”? ZT knew this from hanging with some Dane’s at a bar with TouchTunes playing Tina Dickow’s famous song Copenhagen….. Anyway, If 1-ball McCall was playing, ZT goes big on CCC. But he ain’t so 2nd Upset Special Panthers 31 Other SC Cocks 30
Arkansas Razorbacks vs. #8 Texas A & M Aggies
Find a way to watch this one….Hogs are coming around and Texas A & M is quietly climbing the AP ladder with only a lone loss to Bama! Aggies coming off a bye week but have amped up the running game since week 2. Not good for Ark as they are so generous to the run, IRS almost gave them an exemption as a charitable organization. Another negative? Game now at Kyle Field vs. ATT Stadium. Truth be known, both teams are really glad as they don’t want to catch whatever pandemic the Cowboys have. A & M wins in a battle Aggies 34 HOGS 28
Mizzou Tigers vs. #10 Florida Gators
Gators have been out with Covid/Bye week while Mizzou and HC Drinkwitz are doing what ZT thought they would eventually do but not this quick. Only concern ZT has is if too much swamp scum from the time off makes the Gators sluggish. Nothing Megan Mullen can’t fix with a few French kisses. Unless Dan Mullen reads TB Rays Manager Kevin Cash’s book on championship strategy ( paperpack only), Gators will win, but not easily! Gators 45 Mizzou 31
#14 Notre Dame Fighting Irish vs. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets/Ramblin Wrecks (more appropriate as at least a Yellow Jacket has some power)
Irish are next in line to torment the Atlanta based jalopy…. If ZT had any confidence in GT, could be a close game with Irish looking over the hood at Clemson next week….. ZT thinks the Ramblin Wreck is actually a 1974 AMC Pacer so out with any confidence. Irish 34 GTech Pacers 21
Michigan State Spartans vs. #13 Michigan Wolverines
This thing will look worse than Victim #3 in a Michael Meyers movie…but not as bad as Gary Danielson preparing for Halloween. Wolverines 42 Headless Spartans 17
#16 Kansas State Wildcats vs. West Virginia Mountaineers
How about some love for the Purple Power Cats who have reeled off 4 victories after a home opening loss to Arkansas State?!? Playing great ball and then lost QB Skylar Thompson. Good news is QB Will “I never showered with” Howard has stepped up and looks to be a better runner as well. Add in Freshman RB Deuce Vaughn ( ZT checked, yes he was the 2nd born Vaughn kid ) who is a receiving threat out of the backfield and you have a nice offense. Mountaineers led by QB Jarret Doege (pronounced DAY-Gee…got to be a mountain thing) and a pretty stingy defense. After eating some Candy Corn from 2009 (ZT heard it never goes bad), 3rd Upset Stomach, I mean Special of the day Wildcats 27 Mountaineers 24
#9 Wisconsin Badgers vs. Nebraska Cornhuskers
Well, Covid strikes again! Just when Wiscy says “Yea, We got a QB!” He test positive, #2 out with a foot injury, and #3? Yep, Covid (up to 16 at press time)….ZT wanted this one to play as the #4 QB’s name? Danny Vanden Boom!! ZT loves that one! The Men of the Corn not happy and using the “conspiracy” word. Shocker in 2020. ZT’s prediction on this one? Nebraska looking for a new conference sooner than later!!!!
LSU TIGAHS vs. Auburn Tigers
Perfect example of how screwed up 2020 is!! The last time these teams played and both were unranked??? Ask Prince!!! …………….oh yeah, you can’t unless you have a OUIJA Board. Yep, it was 1999!!! Forget the OUIJA Board, ZT says for LSU to win, need the defense to stiffen up. For Auburn to win, O-line has to give QB Nix time and defense has to dial up at least some light pressure. ZT tempted to go AU at home but saw the Halloween Costume below and just can’t do it. TIGAHS 31 Tigers 30
ZT is SO fired up for Halloween….advised his bride to buy lots of candy as he was “more confident than a man going after Moby Dick in a row boat and taking the tartar sauce with him” that we would have a big crowd. Reality is ZT wants it for himself. As noted above, turns out the 11 year old Candy Corn is more dangerous than Covid………
Padre is reviewing the Book of Daniel looking for tips to help his Gators against the Tigers today…
UPDATE: PADRE WAS STUCK ON I-95 as a TRUMP TRAIN and BIDEN CARAVAN COLLIDED AND HAD ALL LANES STOPPED….THANK GOODNESS FOR 5G!!!!….
wow…..Life in a “swing state” makes for TERRIBLE TV and may be worse than Covid-Brain…..
Clemson 41 Boston College 13
“Ain’t no Sunshine when he’s gone.. but they have a ton of talent… Ain’t no Sunshine when he’s gone….Clemson is still basically an NFL team….Even when he’s gone away. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know……”
LSU 27 Auburn 23
The “Tigahs” are better than the Tigers. Gumbo is better than Auburn’s Tecmo Bowl playbook offense. And Auburn no longer has BO to run through people like on the video game!!!!
Minor Upset of the Week Texas 24 Okie State 23
Right when you think you can’t count on Texas to win a big game, those Horns poke the Pokes. Okie State throws a late pick to seal it for Texas. And sadly, there is no joy in Stillwater – the mighty Mullet as struck out!
Texas A & M 27 Arkansas 17
Arkansas puts up a good fight, but talent is just too much for the Pittman Boys. Nothing funny here. I am pulling for Ark, but just don’t see it today!
Ohio State 44 Penn State 24
It’s not as close as the final score, as Justin Fields lights up the Lions like it’s Christmas on Halloween. Meanwhile, people in Athens ( Georgia ) sure wish they never lost Fields – and yet, in a week, I fully expect Georgia to fun the same 5 plays over and over and over again and still beat my Gators.
Speaking of the that school from the fake Athens……
Georgia 41 Kentucky 10
Smelly but talented football Dawgs > Basketball School
UPSET OF THE WEEK Mizzou 41 Florida 38
Florida hasn’t played in 3 weeks!! They didn’t practice for 2 entire weeks! Some players are still out. Mizzou playing well. Florida defense playing like……well, I don’t even have the words. Meanwhile, while I think we lose, that doesn’t mean I will accept it with good spirit. The game is on the SEC Alternative Channel. Florida is wearing throw back alternative jerseys. And I will be looking for alternative places to live after I burn this place to the ground if we lose- like I think we will. I may need counseling. As the Apostle Paul says in Romans, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”
TUESDAY PREDICTIONS
TRUMP – Claims Victory Win or Lose BIDEN- Forgets it’s even election Day America —————–
Padre headed to Marathon Station with several 5 gallon gas cans muttering ‘ if we lose to Mizzou……”
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 