Nothing celebrates the social and economic achievements of the American Worker than NOT working, consuming adult beverages, grilling out and watching over 20+ hours of College Football!! Over 50 games on Saturday with some “dessert” on Sunday and Monday evenings to finish the Labor Day Weekend.
Piedmont Padre bestowing prognostication prowess upon all as follows:
Florida Atlantic University Owls vs. #13 Florida Gators
I was initially appalled and offended ( everyone is offended by everything these days —so it’s my right, I guess ) that my Gators are only favored by 23 over the Owls. But then I remembered something: Todd Grantham’s defense. We actually will win by less than 23. And, while I predict that to happen, that doesn’t mean I won’t be any less upset about it and repenting for my sinful thoughts come Sunday morning. Florida 37 FAU 24
#17 Indiana Hoosiers vs. #18 Iowa Hawkeyes
Bobby Knight throws a chair at the game tying FG attempt at the end of regulation by Iowa. And he hits it perfectly like he’s playing Duck Hunt. The ball falls. The Hoosiers win. And then, like UNC, they go back to Bloomington and tell the basketball team what it means to win. Indiana 23 Iowa 20
#1 Bama vs. #14 Miami
I believe Miami keeps it close for a while, but they lose their tail wind in the early 4th quarter. NO Gino Torretta to save Miami this time………..oh wait……yeah, that didn’t save Miami against Bama either! #SugarBowl 93 BAMA 44 Miami 20
Padre’s GAME OF THE WEEK PICK
#5 Georgia vs # 3 Clemson
Clemson is currently favored by 3 points, but even my cold Gator blood cannot avoid Georgia’s strengths. Especially one key strength—THEY HAVE A GREAT QB. They may smell like wet, dirty dogs but they have the QB. I actually think the game is controlled by Georgia from the mid -second quarter on. I also think it’s stupid that Georgia’s famous campus symbol is an arch with a column in the middle. Clearly Georgia Tech is the practical school from the convict colony. Georgia 34 Clemson 23
Minor Upset of the Week
#19 Penn State vs. #12 Wisconsin
Penn State wins on a field goal at the end. James Franklin body slams a Wisconsin Tuba player in his excitement. Penn State 27 Wisconsin 26
Other Minor Upset of the Week
UCLA vs. #16 LSU
LSU lost their QB. UCLA has a game under their belt. The Rose Bowl seats like 92,000. All 467 UCLA fans in attendance moderately celebrate the win before picking up their non-fat, decaf lattes at the vendor on the way out of the stadium. UCLA 27 LSU 20
Sort of More than a Minor Upset ( Because of the names of the Teams!)
#23 Louisiana vs #21 Texas
The ULL Cajuns who love them some Ragin! Sark is ready! Bevo is ready! The Cajuns are better. Gumbo > Steak. Ragin’ 30 Texas 26
A little more than Minor – BUT not Major Upset
#9 Notre Dame vs. Florida State
The book of Ecclesiastes says that there is a time for hatred. Solomon was CLEARLY talking about Florida State. But Solomon can’t change the fact that Notre Dame is overrated —which has been the case since Solomon was alive! FSU 31 Notre Dame 30
Padre, noting Native American Hopi culture indicates burrowing owls are believed to be evil, will be in Tallahassee on Sunday trying to entice one to dig a hole at Doak Campbell Stadium…
ZT just finished eating 3 pounds of Lo mein with crushed red pepper sauce along with his 1/2 price brain supplement and is now ready to prognosticate!
#19 Penn State Nittany Lions vs #12 Wisconsin Badgers
Alright we finally have a Top 20 match-up! PSU HC James Franklin states they have had a good off-season and they will need it with some tough road games. Cannot start slow like they did in 2020 when they were 0-5 before finishing 4-0 ( that is 4-5 record for all you Dead Languages majors ). ZT likes RB Noah “bassboat” Cain who had the same # of TDs as Saquon Barkely did as a freshman but on 100 LESS carries. QB Sean Clifford is glad to have a new OC in Mike Yurcich. Add in a solid D and the Nittany Lions have plenty to be happy about…….. EXCEPT opening against the Badgers! Wiscy also looking for a bounce back after a 4-3 campaign. Good to start at Camp Randall. Love the Badger D under DC Jim Leonhard having the unit in the top 10 in total defense for 3 of last 4 seasons. Offense led by QB Graham “cracker” Mertz, a RB committee, and an O-Line that averages 6’5″ and 310 lbs. ZT expects to hear Jump Around more than once as they grab a conference W. Badgers 27 Nittany Lions 21
#1 Alabama Crimson Tide vs. #14 Miami Hurricanes
D’Eriq King….remember that name! Broke Kyler Murray’s TX High School TD record ( 117 ) as a senior. Started at Houston and then had a “non-contact” injury as a JR and returned for Senior season but went redshirt after 4 games before transferring to The U. 20 Passing and 4 Rushing TDs in 2020. Recovered from ACL injury in the Cheez-It Bowl, King is ready to maximize his NIL opportunities and this is the game to do it. Defense needs to keep the turnover chain active in this one. Bama breaking in a new QB in Bryce Young and ZT sees new OC Bill O’Brian using RB’s Brian Robinson, Jase McLellan, and Trey Sanders to eat clock and pound the Hurricanes. Defense has solid LBs and DBs but needs some healthy guys up front. Tide Rolls but if you like to wager, take the ‘Canes and the points. Tide 35 Hurricanes 24
#23 Layfayette Ragin’ Cajuns vs. #21 Texas Longhorns
Who dat playin da Big 12 defectors? ZT loves the mascot named Cayenne, although unofficial ( a lot like ZT ), who is a Cayenne pepper! HC Billy Napier has done a solid job earning a 28-11 record over 5 years. Most of an offense that generated 34 PPG and over 400 YPG is back although got replace 2 solid RBs. 5th year SR QB Levi Lewis leads that group and the defense is mostly in tact. 1 issue, they are playing future SEC #4 Texas. New HC Sark “the shark” Sarkisian (yep, that Bama guy!) can make an offense run like you stole it! Longhorns did average 43 PPG and 470 YPG so more like putting premium fuel in Dodge Charger than tuning up a Kia! Watch for RB Bijan “Dijon” Robinson highlights this season. Question will be the TX Defense but being in Austin, expect a solid effort but no W for the crawfish eaters. Longhorns 45 Ragin Cajuns 28
#5 Georgia Bulldogs vs. #3 Clemson Tigers
LOVE this game for opening weekend!!! Even more than Bama vs. The U. Kirby Smart has to be pinching himself every time QB J.T. Daniels ( USC transfer) gets under center. Concerned top WRs out but they have a lot in the stable. Defense? Maybe the best in the country! Dabo also has a Heisman candidate at QB with D.J. “I like to play my” Uiagalelei (recall he threw for 400 yds vs. ND when Trevor had the Covid ). Tigers will be tough all over the field, as usual. DC Brent Venables said he slept a full 3 hours this week in an effort to prove he was not worried about the Bulldogs. ZT calling the upset in Charlotte. Bulldogs 27 Tigers 24
#16 LSU TIGAHS vs. UCLA Bruins
TIGAHS always loaded with talent but the question is what they do with 16 returning starters off a 5-5 season? Coach O will rely on Soph. QB Max “really big” Johnson after QB Myles Brennan suffered a major arm injury. We will find out quickly if LSU has repaired a defense that allowed an uncharacteristic 34+ PPG. They better have it fixed as UCLA averaged 35 PPG in 2020 and rang up the Rainbow Warriors with 44 points in the Bruins opener last week. Home game for Bruins led by QB Dorian Thompson-Robinson and Michigan transfer RB Zack “I drink” Charbonnet who scored 3 TDs and ran for 106. Hard for ZT to take the Punk-12 over the SEC but going with another upset in Pasadena. Bruins 38 TIGAHS 31
Sunday Night
#9 Notre Dame Fighting Irish vs. Florida State Seminoles
ZT believes FSU has 2 chances against ND……….Slim and Fat……only reason ZT didn’t throw in NO chance is because HC Norville is doing good things in Tallahassee. Good use of the transfer portal bringing in the likes of UCF QB McKenzie Milton among the group. Defense had more leaks than Flex Seal could fix in 2020. That said, it does take some time to get it all together and this just isn’t the time. Honorary ACC member Notre Dame, led by HC Brian Kelly, has a solid squad and should be in the thick of the playoff race. Solid RBs and TE to support Ex-Wiscy transfer QB Jack “my dog wears a” Coan, who sat out 2020 with some foot surgery. Got a solid RB in Kyren Williams, good WRs, and reasonable Defense. Seminoles improved but Irish get the opening road win. Irish 38 Seminoles 24
Monday Night
Louisville Cardinals at Ole Miss Rebels
Kiffin, aka Joey Freshwater from his Bama days, in the Chik-Fil-A Kickoff Game? Hmmm. Another reason they played this one on Monday vs. Sunday. Ok..Ole Miss Rebels should be electric on offense with QB Matt “Golden” Corral and basically returning the same squad from 2020. How can you NOT like a LB named MoMo Sango?? Well, if you are a Rebel fan you recall they gave up about 40PPG in 2020. Word is they continue to improve and, if enough, Ole Miss could build off a big bowl victory over Indiana and win 7+ this year. Cardinals HC Scott Satterfield looks for better things on Offense this year from JR QB Malik Cunningham. Had good production passing and running but too many TOs in 2020 ( 15 ). Defensively, they like the DBs and will find out quickly if they can perform. ZT likes Kiffin’s offense in the Dome. Rebels 48 Cardinals 31
One of the best parts of the 2021 version of opening weekend in College Football? Gary Danielson is, appropriately, NOT working on Labor Day Weekend….SHOCKER!!!!
Enjoy the long weekend and we will be back to prognosticate again next week!
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 