Well….2021 season is off to fun start….for some!! SEC is 6-2 vs. other Power 5 conference teams through 2 weeks & ranked teams are 5-0 ( a few squeakers like Aggies over the gummy eaters from Colorado ) Even Vandy getting in the act with its 1st road win since 2018 but will a W!!!!! Oregon Ducks ” bird bomb” the Buckeyes and Jacksonville State ( from Jacksonville, AL ) takes out FSU. Texas just sent an application to the MAC this week as well.
Padre has returned from an extensive visit with a Hindu spiritual man to get a better understanding of the Elephant noting the Bama-UF game this week. When advised the Elephant is revered for its prowess in war, Padre departed for the safe confines of Lake George near the St. John’s River, which is the most gator infested lake in Florida. In that time of solitude, many divine-like conversations were revealed…
#15 Virginia Tech 26 West Virginia 23
VT: “Almost Heaven” WVU: “West Virginia” VT : “NO, Western Virginia” WVU: “That’s not how that song goes.” VT: “That’s how I hear it” WVU: “You must be Rocky Mountain High?” VT: “Nice Dad Joke” WVU: “Thanks!” VT: “Well, I have one for you” WVU: “Okay, Shoot” VT: “Did you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?” WVU: “Really?” VT: “Yeah. Anywhere else it would have been called a TEETH brush.” WVU: …..
Too Far??? Can a Pastor make a joke like that? Is that ok? Well, the Mighty Turkeys “gobble up a victory” in West – by God – Virginia. #safepastorjoke
Miami 30 Michigan State 24
MSU: “This is SPARTA!”
Miami:” This is SOUTH BEACH!!! Where we wear flip flops in the Winter and the humidity exhausts northern teams just like the tranquilizer dart that hit Will Ferrell in the jugular in Old School!” Flip Flops and humidity win this game!!
#10 Penn State 30 #22Auburn 20
AUB: ” WAR EAGLE!!” PSU: ” But you are the Tigers.” AUB: “Oh, you haven’t heard the story!” PSU: ” What Story?” AUB: “See, we say War Eagle because…” PSU: (interrupting ) “Oh look, what’s that over there?” AUB: (clearly annoyed): “I don’t see anything.” PSU: “Yeah, Sorry, it’s gone.” AUB: “What was it??” PSU: “Oh, it was my interest in your story. But it’s gone now.” Padre pulling hard for Auburn and SEC , but I think Penn State is better. Oh, and the “War Eagle” story is really a very cool story, Aubies!! Chill out, it was just a joke!!!
#23 BYU 34 #19Arizona State 33
ASU: “We are 20 and havin’ the best time of our lives as student athletes!!! Woo Hoo!!!!” BYU: ” We are 34 and raising a family of 7! I changed a diaper before the game and properly creased my khakis with the iron.” *** 34 year olds because of their maturity……and their creased khakis.
Bama game plan for Gators
#1 Bama ( Death Star ) – 47 #11 Florida ( Alderaan ) 20
UF:” Welcome to THE SWAMP, Gumps.” BAMA: ” It’s a nice place, Florida Man.” UF: ” You just wait. When we shock the world, what are you going to do then??” BAMA: ” I guess pray.” UF: ” You’re religious?” BAMA: “Oh, for sure!” UF: ” Prove IT!! What’s your favorite verse?” BAMA: “That’s easy. It’s DEC 5:9” UF: “I have never heard of that passage. What does it say?” BAMA: ” DEC 5:9 – Tebow wept.”
My gators keep on weeping as we are not on Bama’s level. But some joy comes in the morning. Why? Because of one of my favorite verses, SEP 11:21: “FSU lost to Jax State!”
UPSET OF THE WEEK
Fresno State 31 #13 UCLA 30
Fresno: “What happens when the smog clears over Los Angeles?” UCLA: I dunno, what happens?” Fresno: ” U. C. LA” UCLA:………
UCLA is riding high after eating some gumbo last week, but the boys from the Valley up north come in and shock all 854 fans in the stands.
Go Gators! Beat Bama! #KeepTheDreamAlive
Padre headed to a Buffalo Wild Wings to try and get some of those strange voices out of his head…and of course, watch his Gators.
ZT had a rough week…..as you recall, ate lots of Bologna sandwiches last week and as it turns out, this was NOT good for the prognostication part of his brain. Switched back to a daily DQ Blizzard ( Banana Split as it has fruit in it and ZT hears that is good for a longer life… )
#1 BAMA vs #11 Florida Gators
1st of 3 Top 25 matchups this week! Both squads got a few early injuries ( Bama with 2 LBs banged up and Gators with playmaker QB currently hobbled as well ). Ok, NEXT MAN UP with top programs so “Forget about it!”……Gator HC Dan ” I just look sullen” Mullen has a bit of a QB controversy with stud athlete Richardson looking better than Emory “board/bored” Jones. As noted, Richardson “appeared” to pull a hammy ( “not that anyone would fake that” from the Harvey Updyke Conspiracy Theory website ) so availability is questionable. ZT says he plays and plays well. Mullen is one of the best game coaches and this team will be ready, including the Todd Grantham led defense. Oh yes, and it is in THE SWAMP!! Bama banged up a bit on defense and team overall has been a bit sloppy with penalties, blown coverages, etc. QB Bryce Young has been solid so far but no depth behind him. Defense missing a few LBs and several others sat out the Mercer game. SO…what happens? ZT says this one is much tighter than Vegas believes and the last series of the game will mean something! Bama 34 Gators 31
South Carolina Gamecocks vs # 2 Georgia Bulldogs
Cocks HQ Shane Beamer got them believing and ZT likes the on-field improvements. Better defense this year for the Gamecocks and that is obviously a good thing. OK, Bulldogs played UAB without QB Daniels but former starting QB Stetson “is my favorite brand of hat” Bennett covered with 5 TDs but has a sore back. ZT believes the GA training staff has some “stuff” in their bag better than we saw in the Movies Varsity Blues & North Dallas 40 to handle that issue. Reality, Georgia defense can win this one with the University of Phoenix video Gaming team running the offense with a Madden 2021 strategy. ZT notes his family K-9 is prone to bring dead birds to the back porch and afraid UGA XXXLVIII will do the same this week. Bulldogs 38 Gamecocks 13
#22 Auburn Tigers vs. #10 Penn State Nittany Lions
ZT has been to Happy Valley and it is a tough place for opponents to play. Add in ANY one from the SEC showing up on a Big10 field and you got a formula for an epic battle. PSU HC James Franklin”stein” spent time at Vandy so he is always looking for some payback on teams that formerly beat him like a rented mule. IF you have followed Pigskin Prognostications for the last few years ( 1st, we have professional help for this! ), you know ZT HATES gimmicks and he throws the “white out” in that group. PSU is 8-8 in “white out” games and ZT does not recall them being happy at .500. Tigers….ZT is a QB Bo Nix fan, even before they scored 122 points against 2 elementary schools ( although the Alabama State Honey Bees dance squad worth the watch! We will see what the defense is really made of for the same reasons. Nittany Lions have played better competition in Wiscy and Ball State ( solid MAC team ) and the defense has been very good. pulling for AU but… Nittany Lions 27 Tigers 24
Purdue Boilermakers vs #8 Notre Dame Fighting Irish
ND missing a few players after week 1 “execution” by HC Kelly put Irish in a position to almost lose to the TOLEDO Rockets.
Now….Boilermakers are also 2-0 ( although hard to call UCONN a real win but you got to play the game and too many teams have found out “no free plays” this season ). Like QB Jack “the toilet is stopped up so call a” Plummer running the Purdue offense and he should have some opportunities against an Irish squad ranked 111th in total defense. Makes ZT think they have a chance against a shaky looking ND. Some think this could be the game that saves ND from another embarrassing January playoff game. ZT says no way this week with QB Jack Coan doing enough to hold off the Boilermakers. Touchdown Jesus will be seen wiping sweat off his brow in the 4th quarter but ND gets the win. Irish 31 Boilermakers 27
SEC FUTURE WATCH – NEW FEATURE
Nebraska Cornhuskers vs #4 Oklahoma Sooners
Western Carolina Catamounts will be late for their game this week as Serv Pro is still responding to this disaster after the Sooners hung 76 points on them in Norman. And here comes Nebraska. ZT has sent a case of duct tape to Lincoln so they can pre-wrap for the beat down coming. Good news for the corn cobs? They have had 2 practice games against Fordham and Buffalo to “get right” after the opening loss to Illinois. Make or break week for HC Scott Frost and, in Norman ( ZT been there too ), he and the corn cobs will find no friends ( sorry Gary Danielson will be in Florida so he was your only hope ). Boomer Schooner 48 Cornhuskers 18
Rice Owls vs. Texas Longhorns
ZT LOVES Beef Tips on Rice from the Foodliner in Midland City, AL. Told the butcher the price of beef should be dropping after Bevo got slaughtered in Fayetteville AR last week. ZT notes Rice is best known for “artificial heart research, structural chemical analysis, signal processing and nanotechnology.” Apparently the football is an experiment in nanotech. Their newspaper is called “The Rice Thresher.” Will be appropriate this week as Texas looks for someone to take out their frustrations upon and Owls are likely the victim. Texas has to be careful with Big 12 play kicking in next week!! Longhorns 45 Bag of Rice 9.
ZT Quick Snacks
#8 Cincinnati Bearcats vs. Indiana Hoosiers
HC Luke Fickell has American Athletic Conference ( now headed to Big 12 ) Cincy clicking and now travels to a Big 10 date with the Hoosiers. Could the Bearcats get distracted with Fickell’s name being tossed around to go to USC?? QB Desmond Ridder & RB Jerome Ford “tough” are solid. But note, Indiana is their 1st test and Hoosiers did have a nice scrimmage over the Idaho Vandals after the widely-seen Iowa beat down. Hoosiers got to have Jr. QB “I got a sore” Penix get on track and it has to be this week!! ZT going with upset. Hoosiers 24 Bearcats 23
#19 Arizona State Sun Devils vs. #23 BYU Cougars
Another pair of unbeatens……Sun Devils led by a solid QB in Jayden “Jack” Daniels on the road in Utah where the Cougars are tough to beat. ZT with the minor upset in Provo. Cougars 24 Sun Devils 23
Stony Brook Seawolves vs. #4 Oregon Ducks
Noting the Seawolves lost to New Hampshire but did squeeze the toothpaste school ( remember, that is Colgate – ZT trying to get a sponsorship so expect to see Colgate referenced often! ). If just the mascots were to fight, like the Seawolves chances to take out a Duck…….but it ain’t. Ducks 56 Seawolves 2 ( Ducks take a knee in the endzone to protect their punter and practice a free kick from the 20 in a live setting to get the Seawolves their deuce ).
ZT out as he must go finalized the lineups on his 3 NFL fantasy teams….
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 