Tuesday was “Ask a Stupid Question Day” which apparently was started in the 80’s at a time when big hair, spandex and mullets came on the scene. Good examples would be: “Do you think Clemson will win it all this year?” Do you think Florida State makes the CFB Playoffs?” ” Can Coach O win the Scripps Spelling Bee?” A better question is: Are the 3 best teams of the 1980’s still really good today? Your answer would be NO, Nebraska, Miami, and Florida State are as out of date now as the 80’s fashion styles ( although mullets still in fashion in Tallahassee ).
Best CFB Question? Who will survive in Week 5?? And that is where the Padre and ZT can help alot ( yep…that is for my “alot” troll I noted last week! )
ZT advised by his Doc that the Blizzard Brain Food theory was as flawed as Southern Miss’s defense. Noting the top brain supplement is made out of jellyfish ( see the quote of the week ) was ok but ZT had the option to buy one for 1/2 price made from silkworms. ZT surmised silkworms are smarter as they help make those scarfs Cam Newton was so famous for wearing. Honestly, ZT bought it because it was 1/2 price and willing to take the risk of only getting 50% boost in brain power. Not sure Vegas could take ZT with much more brain power. So here we go with Week 5 prognostications…….
#12 Ole Miss Rebels vs. # 1 Bama
OK…ZT had 2 games marked as “KNOWN THREATS” to Bama in August. This is one of them. Rebels HC Lane Kiffin comes to T-Town with the #1 offense in the nation. Over 635 yards per game and averaging 52.7 points. And….basically the same offense that put up 647 yards and 48 points on a MUCH better Bama defense in 2020!! And we all saw what the Gators did 2 weeks ago after a slow start in the Swamp. QB Matt “I’m all that” Corral is the best in the country. But, not so fast…..well, yet is will be a very fast day all day long!!! Bama will need to run the ball effectively with Robinson, McClellan, Williams and Sanders to give the defense time to recover. In 2020 you could not outscore the Tide, in 2021 you can so got to have some defense. Will need DB Kool-Aid McKinstry to make some plays! ZT says take the points in if you want to bet in this high scoring affair. Bama 45 Rebels 41
Mississippi State Bulldogs vs Texas A & M Aggies
Both of these squads come in with losses. Bulldogs have dropped 2 in a row while the Aggies were beaten by Arkansas in Arlington. Bulldog HC Mike Leach has to be lamenting about leaving WSU where he was a media darling, taught class, and could make people happy with an upset or 2 in a season. He could get back on the “Starkville love train” with a W this weekend. QB Will Rogers continues to improve and is completing 75% of his passes. Aggies just can’t get the offense in gear with QB King out. Trying to get former pizza delivery boy & back up QB Calzada and a young O-line to gel in the protection & passing game. ZT expects to see more focus on the run game. They will need it this week and next vs. Bama. ZT noted RB Isaiah ” I love Michael Jackson’s Thriller” Spiller never touched the ball again last week after a 67 yard TD run in the 3rd Qtr. Hmmm.. Expect a lower scoring affair… Aggies 24 Bulldogs 20
#14 Michigan Wolverines vs Wisconsin Badgers
Fun one……the last time the Wolverines beat the Badgers??? Well, there were no iPhones or most social media platforms. It was just over a year after most of the world thought all computers would shut down.. YEP, 2001!!! Wiscy just can’t get rolling at 1-2 and Michigan didn’t look great against Rutgers so…. Matter of fact, worst start for Wiscy in 20 years!!! QB Graham “I need a Hearse” Mertz is playing like a cast member of the Walking Dead ( yep, the dead ones! ). 6 INTs combined vs. ND & Penn State. Badgers need him to have a solid game and let the defense do the talking! Wolverines got to have a running attack, which won’t be easy as the Badgers run defense is tougher that the first guy to ever eat a raw oyster. QB Cade McNamara will have to do more than just not make mistakes for Michigan to win this one….Badgers 21 Wolverines 20
#8 Arkansas Razorbacks vs. #2 Georgia Bulldogs
ZT loving ARK this year!! Sure the mutual infatuation with bacon is part of it. Hogs playing so well they are getting “pork tenderloin” respect vs. the historical bacon bits reference. Hogs had 443 yards with plenty of ground game last week. Need QB KJ ” my uncle was George” Jefferson to be able to play 60 minutes this week. Basically, Hogs were just tougher than the Aggies last week. They better be this week too as the Junkyard Dawgs are looking like they are the real #1 with QB JT Daniels leading the offense. The Dawg defense is tougher than a steak at Denny’s. Razorbacks are the SEC ( maybe National? ) darlings but these hogs aren’t likely to find many acorns between the Hedges. Bulldogs 31 Razorbacks 17
#7 Cincinnati Bearcats vs. #9 Notre Dame Fighting Irish
ZT loves this one…..battle of undefeated teams. NO WAY Irish faithful ( or the Pope ) would ever believe they are ranked behind Cincinnati Bearcats ( they would be more likely to think they were equal or better than the Bengals!! ). Add to it they are HOME UNDERDOGS!! Last time these 2 teams played was 1900…….yep 121 years ago and ND won that contest 58-0. Like what Bearcats HC Luke “Love a Dill Pickle” Fickell has done with the team and has them in position for a historic school win. Cincy cannot start slow and get the W. They will count on QB Desmond Ridder and RB Jerome Ford ( love this guy at 5’11” and 220 lbs. with speed! ) to be the key battle vs. a tough ND defense. ZT may be old school but just can’t go against the Irish at home, with TD Jesus watching over them and lots of pressure on the Bearcats. Send your spouse to Bed, Bath and Beyond with a credit card and watch this one!! Irish 28 Bearcats 27
SEC Future Watch
#6 Oklahoma Sooners vs Kansas State Wildcats
Sooners….. Boo Birds came out against QB Rattler ( and may HC Riley? ) but they found a way to win against a solid WVU squad. No rest this weekend with the Purple Power Cats hosting the Boomer Schooner in Manhattan. OU lost the last 2 meetings with K. State! Wildcats hoping QB Skylar Thompson is able to play. Had to finish last weeks loss with a #3 QB and that just won’t work vs. OU. Love what HC Klieman said about Thompson’s return: ” he can throw it but he’s got to make sure he can run before he can play!!”…..you dang right against OU. Going to need some good production from RB Deuce “gimme the ball and I’m gone!” Vaughn who rushed for over 100 yds in the first 3 games and good on routes out of the backfield as well. ZT believes Rattler has a big game and OU gets the W in Manhattan. Sooners 31 Purple Power Cats 17
Texas Longhorns vs. TCU Horned Frogs
Longhorns scored 128 points since they got drilled by the ARK Bacon Boys in week 2. HC Sark not only has the offense rolling with QB Casey Thompson ( over 600 YPG last 2 weeks ) but seeing some signs the defense is maturing as well with 2 INTs against Texas Tech. Horned Frogs dropped the Iron Skillet vs. SMU. HC Gary Patterson better put that one behind him or he will wake up with a horn in his side, or somewhere even worse!!! QB “Mad” Max Dugan can run & throw, which is good as he will need to do plenty of both vs. Texas. Expect a tough environment in Ft. Worth as likely the Longhorns last game here for awhile with the move to the SEC coming. ZT believes Bevo gets a W. vs. a trip to the stockyards. Longhorns 45 Horned Frogs 35
ZT Quick Snacks ( ZT been alternating between regular, Double Stuff and Golden Oreos this week. Go figure…love them all “alot”!!! )
#22 Auburn Tigers vs LSU TIGAHS
Tigers had to be looking ahead to the TIGAHS when they benched QB BO “I just got” Nix “ed” for LSU transfer QB TJ Findley ( Boy, Irony and be pretty Ironic sometimes… ). Auburn is a play away from being 4-0 and at the same time 2-2. Coach O will count on QB Max “my boat has a” Johnson to keep up the 3 TDs or more per game streak ( 6) going this week. Coach O told the TIGAHS they would get a 7-course meal if they beat Auburn ( in Baton Rouge that is gator and a 6-pack of Natty Light ). ZT thinks they get it. TIGAHS 28 Tigers 24
Boston College Eagles vs. #25 Clemson Tigers
How is ANY ACC team with 2 losses after 4 weeks still in the Top 25?? Oh yeah, it’s Clemson…….not a good sign when DC says “time for younger players to step up!” BC 4-0 and a 2 TD underdog??? It’s the Tigers defense and ZT believes this is a breakout game for the Dabocados!!! Tigers 38 Eagles 17
#10 Florida Gators vs Kentucky Wildcats
Gators got solid play from QB Emory Jones and had over 500 yards a week after taking Bama to the edge! KY HC Mark Stoops can coach as long as he wants in Lexington by winning at least 8 games every year. They have 4 so far ( even with -9 in the turn over game! ) but going to have to wait to get #5. Gators 31 Wildcats 21
#3 Oregon Ducks vs. Stanford Cardinal/Trees
ZT used to Duck Hunt. Much of this in flooded timber. Never saw a duck get downed by a Tree and don’t expect it this week either! Ducks 35 Tree People 21
#21 Baylor Bears vs. #19 Oklahoma State Cowboys
OSU HC Mike Gundy is still a MAN!! Just has a bad hip, can’t see as well, got 2 crowns but will still fight you!!! Baylor HC Dave “Ninja Panda” Aranda is 4-0 , running game looks good and fielding a stingy defense. ZT calling the upset because he likes to eat at Panda Express……. Baylor 27 Cowboys 21
Padre is continuing his special “Hillbilly Outreach” program this week as his Gators travel to Kentucky. Internet connections not available so awaiting Carrier Pigeon to arrive with commentary. ZT was able to get his score predictions from a guy floating down the Kentucky River who saw the Padre talking to some guy named Hatfield……
Michigan 23 Wisconsin 20
Notre Dame 30 Cincinnati 24
Bama 44 Ole Miss 23
LSU 29 Auburn 20
Oklahoma State 30 Baylor 23
Georgia 41 Arkansas 16
Kansas State 27 Oklahoma 24 – Upset of the Week
When the pigeon lands…you will see the Padre’s commentary…until then, cover your head!!!
2:40 AM Saturday UPDATE: THE Padre’s PIGEON HAS LANDED!!!!!
Michigan 23 vs. Wisconsin 20
- Boogers > Badgers 2. Great Lakes > Cheese 3. Very Cold State > Siberia of American Cold States I have never been to Wisconsin, so I am just picking ( any Wiscy Natives?? ). Vince Lombardi is awesome. The Brewers is an AWESOME name. And Giannis is da man. All good now??
Notre Dame 30 vs. Cincy 24
Notre Dame finds a way again. Am I supposed to pull for Cincy so they can make the Playoff – only to be demolished by Georgia or Bama? But, the means Notre Dame may go undefeated and make the Playoff- only to be demolished by Georgia or Bama. Go Bearcats!……But Domers win.
Bama 44 vs. Ole Miss 23
So many thinking Saban may finally lose to a former Assistant Coach. And so many will be wrong when the “Lane Train” comes off the tracks because the conductor drank that “rat poison”!!
LSU 29 vs Auburn 20
TIGAHS > Tigeagles *** “Oh, look, here comes another Auburn fan to correct me on ‘War Eagle’ reference. How do we get rid of them? Oh, I know! Pronounce it JOR-DAN. Wait-now they are explaining that too. JUST RUN!” Again, just picking on my Auburn friends.
Oklahoma State 30 vs. Baylor 23
My son is trying to grow a mullet. I am serious! Thanks Gundy!!!!
Georgia 41 vs Arkansas 16
I am pulling for Arkansas as if they are the Gators. And I believe they are better than my score prediction. But they are tired from victories over the Texas teams-and Georgia is about to mud-hole stomp the Hogs into a BBQ sandwich. Arkansas should have nothing to be ashamed of after their loss, but Georgia should be ashamed for stealing Green Bay’s “G” and naming their city after the ancient city in Greece. They are about as original as the restaurant McDowell’s in the movie “Coming to America.” I bet they even sell the “Big Mick” at their concessions.
Kansas State 27 vs Oklahoma 24 UPSET OF THE WEEK
I keep predicting an OU loss and West Virginia almost came through for me–but they fell short. I say that my Nostradamus-like prediction was very murky and actually off a week. I had some bad pizza and pepperoni blinded my vision. Legend has it the great Pastrodamus ( that would be me ) had a vision, and that vision says that “The Wildcats of the flat land will rise and swarm the men of the wagons and guns. The purple swarm will not be intimidated by the men of Norman. When the army in red tries to throw their titles in the face of their enemy, the mighty feline men will stand their ground and say, ‘ Ok ,Boomer’. “
ZT found an extra note on the left leg of the pigeon as follows:
Florida 27 Kentucky 26 – Original Pick
This was my original pick ( didn’t tell that river floating guy ZT got the 1st picks from), but then I had a nightmare that even with Florida’s #1 rushing attack ( and ball control offense ) our defense is still ranked in the 60s. I woke up and thought “Whew. That’s not possible. We have to be much better than that.” But the Nightmare on Grantham Street became all too real when I heard the song: “One-Two, a late Third Down is coming for you. Three-Four, Kentucky needs to scores. Five-Six, Grantham decides to send SIX. Seven-Eight, the 3rd and long blitz ( like always ) is a mistake. Nine-Ten, we lose to Kentucky, AGAIN!”
Kentucky 29 Florida 27 – Nightmare on Grantham Street Pick
You can call me cynical. You can call me pessimistic. You can call me a “negative fan.”…….I have nothing else. You could surely call me those things. I have no comeback. The truth is the truth. By the way, Kroger Field/Freddy Kruger. Just sayin’!! ( All of that was A Nightmare on Elm Street reference for my non-80’s peeps).
Signing out until CFB Week 6……….and don’t forget to watch Brady vs. Belichick on Sunday Night! Sure its NFL but that’s ok this week!!!!
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 