CFB – Week 9 More Reality Checks

As noted last week, the trumpets blew loud and, for some, the walls came crumblin down!!!

Started on Wednesday Night ( those are always dangerous games ) when Appy State took out Coastal Carolina. Not trying to live in the past but they did beat #5 Michigan in 2007 ( Still in this century so.. ). Then, didn’t know Lions could lay eggs but apparently a Nittany Lion can! #7 Penn State loses to Brett Bielema and the Illini in 9 overtimes at UNHappy Valley ( more on PSU later ). Then, Mike “I’m a 54 year old Man with a Mullet” Gundy saw his #8 Cowboys lose in Ames. Expect a few more of the unbeaten teams to fall this week. Hey, its Halloween so why not!!

ZT excited about Halloween and usually overbuys candy by 10x to insure he has plenty to help him “train” for Thanksgiving….A national survey noted Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups were #1 followed by Skittles, M & M’s, Starburst, and Hot Tamales to round out the Top 5. ZT’s favorite is a fortune cookie….Why? Because it comes with an entree, fried rice and some lotto numbers on the fortune….. On to the prognostications…….

UNC Tar Heels vs. #11 Notre Dame Fighting Irish

Irish had a solid outing vs. USC Trojans…..UNC nicely behind 2021 expectations but still dangerous with an offense led by QB Sam “my granddad was Thurston” Howell. He can be a difference maker. Irish expected to use RB Kyren Williams to control the game as UNC allows 200+ per game on the ground. Mack Brown counting on an air attack to get UNC a W. At night, in South Bend, TD Jesus lit up……. Irish 35 Tar Heels 27

FSU Seminoles vs. Clemson Tigers Battle of the Fallen Angels

Not as bad as say UConn vs. UMass but still not the game we expected to see in Week 9. Word is the Tigers #3 Tuba Player had a great week of practice so Dabo likely starts him. Seminoles’ Osceola looking to put a spear in someone ( can ZT say that? Is that too negative toward the Seminole Tribe? Does that then become negative towards all Native Americans? If he was to put a spear in someone from Ohio State ( being they are in “Columbus”) is that then acceptable? ). ZT sees Dabo and his Tuba corps rally Tigers 27 Tiger Bait 13

#10 Ole Miss Rebels vs. #18 Auburn Tigers

Kiffin’s Kids look like a real Top 10 squad…..not sure why AUB HC Harsin is worried about disclosing vaccination status. This would only be necessary if he was planning to kiss Kiffin at midfield before the game. Rebel offense is explosive, tested, and generally makes very few mistakes. On the other hand, AUB QB Bo “I got some tricks” Nix is explosive, tested but makes more mistakes than the drive-thru window at Hardee’s ( ZT knows about drive-thru accuracy!). SO, like Tigers, at home, to run the ball…..why wouldn’t you run with a RB named TANK!! AU K Carlson kicks a FG to win it! Tigers 38 Rebels 35

Colorado Buffaloes vs. #7 Oregon Ducks

Ducks keep their beaks above water with only 2 wins by more than a TD ( vs. Stony Brook and Arizona )……That said, they are NOT happy they beat the Buckeyes, in Columbus, but find themselves ranked behind them with same record. ZT’s advice? Just Win Baby! ( ok, borrowed that from Al Davis but said ZT could use it when he spoke to ZT during a psychic reading in rural Tennessee last week ). Best use of the Buffaloes this season? On a plate with potatoes at Ted’s Montana Grill. Ducks 38 Buffalo Kabobs 14

#6 Michigan Wolverines vs. #8 Michigan State Spartans

This will be like boxing in the 70’s ……..2 undefeated brawlers, that do not like each other or the other’s mother, about to just go after it!! Wolverines lost in 2020 and still say it left a worse taste in their mouth than kissing Leather Face from Texas Chain Saw Massacre or Nancy Pelosi. Most see Wolverine run game vs. Sparty Defense. ZT thinks the MSU pass rush could be the difference maker against a truly ( not that girly beverage ) improved Michigan O-line. Like Sparty to start strong and hold on for a W in East Lansing. Spartans 24 Wolverines 21

#20 Penn State Nittany Lions vs. #5 THE Ohio State Buckeyes

Pretty Simple…..PSU HC James Franklin is being talked about for the USC, LSU and probably then next big job that opens up……he even said on the radio that they were getting ready to play in “The Big House” ( Michigan for you folks that watch the Hallmark Channel ). He is either off focus or tired….neither is good if you are about to play a Buckeyes’ Team that got its groove back better than Stella…..and it is in The Horseshoe. Buckeyes 38 Simba’s Lions 17

Texas Tech Red Raiders vs. #4 Oklahoma Sooners

TT fired the coach this week……former HC Matt “I don’t feel so” Wells was 13-17. Good timing as the Red Raiders travel to Norman. OU escaped Lawrence last week with some heads up play by QB Williams. Interim TT HC Sonny Cumbie said in his 1st presser ” Glad to be here and we are moving forward!…..What? My first game is against OU in Norman?…Forget this, I’m going back to stocking shelves at Kroger!!”…..Sooners 49 Kroger Man 20

#2 Cincinnati Bearcats vs. Tulane Green Wave

Bearcats, Bearcats, Bearcats……they are the “soup du jour” of the CFB this year ( didn’t know ZT could also speak French….other than French Fry, French Dip or French’s Mustard ). ZT been bragging on HC Fickel and they did avoid disaster against the Midshipmen last week……check the box and move on Bearcats. Tulane is not good. Their only win was over the winless Bears of Morgan State ( who did score their season high of 20 vs. Green Wave ). Bearcats are NOT Bears….they are actually in the civet and mongoose family (ZT also have a minor in zoology or just watch Ace Ventura too often being a Dolphins fan?? ) and are very agile in the upper canopy of the trees……rumor is they also like to surf and will get to try it on a Green Wave today…..Bearcats 52 Green Wave 17

#1 Georgia Bulldogs vs. Florida Gators World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party

Gator Fans may just want to enjoy the tailgating and stay outside TIAA Bank Field this week. Bulldogs look to be a solid #1 and Gators not where they should be. Also, the HC’s office appears to be getting a little warm in Gainesville. Was noted in 6 times in this rivalry when 1 team is in Top 3 and the other is unranked, the ranked team wins by 19 points or more. Bulldog Defense can capture whichever Gator QB is taking the snaps. Gators have a chance but they must be perfect and count on Bulldogs to make mistakes they have yet to make this season. Don’t see it happening this year Bulldogs 34 Gators 17

Padre just finished explaining to some Georgia fans that the story of water being turned to wine does NOT justify all the activity that will occur in Jacksonville this Saturday….

Georgia 34 Florida 17

“The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail…….oh wait, I can’t call it that. Hmmmmmm. How about ” The Globe’s Biggest Game in Mother Nature that is a Liquid Consuming Fiesta!” There ya go. Well, my Gators are currently unranked. My Gators are currently 23rd in recruiting. 23rd!!!!! Recruits are jumping ship like Pepe’ Le Pew just walked the ship’s deck. Yet, I had a day-dream this week that we somehow won the game. I had hope!! Hahahahaha. Then it came crashing down. My dream was a comedy – a cruel, dark comedy like Fargo. Florida plays hard, but Georgia controls the game…..because they have waaaaaaaaaaaay more talent-and then steals another recruit from us on Monday. Not because they need him ( they don’t! ), but just to show us they can. Fargo 2021 starring Kirby “Killer Instinct” Smart and Dan “Saturday Cartoons are my Favorite” Mullen continues. Please make it stop!!!!!……But it won’t stop. It will continue.

Michigan 24 Michigan State 23

This will be a tough fight, but I somehow think Harbaugh gets a rivalry victory. Sparty won’t go away!! They will fight till the end! But the Red Dawns of Ann Arbor will fight as well and take down Sparticus’ Army of East Lansing ( some will get this joke…)

Ole Miss 34 Auburn 33

“Hotty, Toddy, we like to party, we don’t play defense but we score on everybody” ( some will get that rap joke too!). Ole Miss finds a way over the Tigeagles.

Ohio State 44 Penn State 17

Rumors are swirling that USC or LSU may want Franklin. Rumors are also swirling that Penn State fans are sending USC and LSU care packages to take their coach. Ohio State rolls in the Big House – I mean the Horseshoe!!

Mississippi State 27 Kentucky 23

Generic Nickname Team A beats Generic Nickname Team B. GO TEAM!

Miami 31 Pitt 30 – UPSET OF THE WEEK

Pitt is riding high after beating Clemson. I say they are not ready for this success. Miami is desperate for a big win. The Canes go into the Steel City and come out with a victory.

Until Week 10…….