Practices are in full swing, the first polls are out and it’s time for some football!! Sure you can eat some wings and watch NFL preseason but is that really what you want? No Way! 97.4% of Georgia fans are still wearing the same clothes they wore in January while replaying the BCS game on their DVRs but the rest of us are looking ahead for September!
What have ZT and the Padre been doing in the offseason? Padre has been deep in the Gator recruiting blogs checking on the progress. His primary question is summed up in this picture:
ZT has just been eating lots of Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie Ice Cream while Coach Saban is capitalizing on the 2021 “Rebuilding Year.” Forget the football for a minute, that Little Debbie Ice Cream is so good it has helped ZT move up to the next waist size in his khaki pants and make the jump to “comfort band” (AKA stretchy material for buffet busters like ZT ) on his Sunday pants.
Ok…enough about us. Let’s talk about the preseason top picks.
#1 Bama
Reloading with more overall experience and a returning Heisman QB making more in NIL than almost anyone on the Baltimore Orioles Baseball Team. 4 players on the preseason All-American Team including QB Young, along with 3 on the D including LBs Anderson & Turner with Safety Battle. Look for key games @ Texas ( 1 of 2 new step kids to the SEC ), @ LSU with dancing Brian Kelly and home games with Jimbo Fisher’s Cadets and the War Tigers of Auburn. Winning those likely earns another date in December with the smelly dogs 1 state to the east.
#2 THE ( its now a registered trademark…geez ) Ohio State Buckeyes
Assume the Buckeyes ( was told by an OSU fan in the San Francisco Skyclub that a Buckeye is worthless nut and their fans are included in that! ) are using the revenue generated off trademarking “THE” to fund their NIL. Could be HUGE…( did I inadvertently just fund Trump’s re-election campaign when I said HUGE assuming he trademarked that?? ) Offense has 3 All-Americans with RB Henderson, WR Smith-Njigba and OT Johnson…Defense? Who needs it..right?
#3 Georgia Bulldogs
Kirby Smart is more confident than Lebron James in a dunk contest at a nursing home. Ok…after last year he should be. But it is 2022 and even a Kentucky fan on a flight from Seattle told ZT ” We will win the SEC East because we get Georgia in Lexington!” Beware Bulldogs, everyone has you on their radar. Good news? After sending even the waterboy to the NFL, still no shortage of talent in Athens. They open up with Oregon in Atlanta so….we will see if they are really number 3 ( ZT getting the rhyming skills sharpened up! ).
#4 Dabo is back – “ain’t no rear view mirror on this train!”
Well, look who is back in the discussion after going 2-2 in September 2021, dropping one to Pitt in October and being done before New Years Day for the first time in a while. As noted above, Clemson is looking ahead and kicks off Labor Day in Atlanta but has traded in the Bulldogs for the Ramblin’ Wreck this year. Defense touting 3 preseason All-Americans and a revamped coaching staff, most notable departure is Brent Venables who is now HC at Oklahoma, but they are in the ACC so that is a natural advantage if one does not slip up! Last year was a Biden fall down the stairs vs. a “slip up.”
#5 The Pope’s boys from South Bend – Amen
Ok…ZT never been a fan of Notre Dame and Brian Kelly was like lighter fluid on charcoal in that regard (obvious ZT does not cook “green” nor is he a vegan). Got to give props to new HC Marcus Freeman and really like this guy!! Irish have a few preseason All-Americans and look for this to be a very inspired, hard working group under a new leader that really cares! We will see how they handled the first offseason when they meet “THE” in Week 1. ZT notes ND may have the oddest fan base in USA as noted below but never underestimate the Vatican……
We won’t prognosticate Week 0 ( we think we earned that after 6 years! ) that starts this week but will recommend you watch the Cornshuckers of Nebraska play the Northwestern Wildcats in Dublin Ireland and hoist a Guinness for ZT!
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 