Forget the “last getaway” of the summer with your wife or girlfriend and SET THE TONE NOW! IT’S COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON!!! Most you who are reading this valuable musing, likely watched some Week 0 action and if it is a sign of 2022, we are in for some fireworks. Right out of the gate, Herbstreit’s B10 darling Nebraska Cornshuckers shock everyone with an ill-timed on-side kick after scoring to take an 11-point lead. They surprised everyone except the Wildcat who recovered it! Irishman was heard yellin “You Eejit, I only know soccer and cricket but that was thick you little pup!!” ( How about ZT boning up on his Irish insults ahead of THE vs. the Pope this week?! ). Almost as shocking, when was the last time Vandy hung 60+ on anyone in football??
Ok….it was 1947 and vs. Tennessee Tech in week 7 ( after they squeaked by Northwestern 3-0 in week 1, with no on-side kicks, and beat Auburn 28-0 in week 6 ). Maybe Commodores HC Clark “yes, my cousin is Princess” Lea was right when he said “We will be a force to be reckoned with in the SEC!” at media days.
Enough of Week 0……..Let’s GO!
The Padre has been waking up in the middle of the night for weeks in preparation for CFB 2022. Ok, it really started as soon as Spurrier left UF but still trying to help him get over it like he helped ZT get over Bear Bryant and will again have to when Saban leaves Bama but back to Week 1!!!
Penn State 31 Purdue 26
Some people like Penn State’s simple uniforms. Some people find them boring. All people want a raise and long term extension for winning 66% of the time at one of college football’s name brands. Franklin moves up to 67% on Thursday night!!
Very Mild Upset
Appy State – 34 UNC Tarheels 30
As I type this, it’s been exactly 15 years since Appy beat Michigan. I watched UNC’s game against FAMU. I saw many missed tackles. Maybe it was simply opening game jitters, but I got a feeling that the boys from Boone send the Tarheels back to Chapel Hill with an L! It’s three month till basketball season North Carolina fans!!
Arkansas 34 Cincy 27
As I write this, I am in NW Arkansas with a friend. Maybe it’s all the Walmart’s or BBQ joints, but I think the Angry Pigs take down the Fickell Felines.
** We are NOT going to the Arkansas game while I am here. FIRST, too hot!! Second, I would have to hear the “Woo Pig…” thing like 467 times. It’s basically Rocky Top but with Vacation Bible School type hand gestures!
Georgia 41 Oregon 17
Georgia gets a scrimmage game against the #11 ranked team….. in the same dome they will play for the SEC Championship later this year. Yes, I said it will be a scrimmage. Dawgs devour the Ducks!
Utah 27 Florida 16
New year, New coach at UF. This is becoming a NOT NEW story for my Gators. I believe in Napier, but this will take time. Utah will come into Gainesville and control my Gators. Then they will go back to Pac12 country and act like they climbed the SEC Mountain. They will brag and put a big picture of the game in their football facility. Then they will make the CFP and Bama or Georgia will beat them 63-10.
Ohio State 44 Notre Dame 20
The game of the Day?? = The Snooze Fest of the Day!!!!
Another Mild Upset
FSU 27 LSU 20
Satan’s team is heading to New Orleans (insert obvious jokes here ) to play Colonial Brian Kelly and his southern accent. LSU has more talent. FSU will be a little more together this soon into Kelly’s reign. But Geaux Tigahs!! Beat the Army of Darkness!!
UPSET OF THE WEEK
West Virginia 26 Pittsburg 24
Couch Burners vs. The Team who shares a stadium with The Steelers. Light a match Mountaineers, because many fires will burn in “almost heaven” after winning The Backyard Brawl!
Padre out to go attempt to break the record for most ‘conversions’ of Wal Mart greeters in 1 weekend.
ZT is now taking 3 brain supplements ( all 50%+ off of the leading brands so expect an occasional misfire but saving $$! ) and ready for 2022 Season.
Friday Night 9/2
Illinois Fighting Illini vs. Indiana Hoosiers
Hard to think of a better way to spend Friday night of Labor Day weekend than in Bloomington Indiana…….that is if it is Illini vs. Hoosiers night. Got to pay attention to the rosters for all CFB teams after over 4,000 entered the transfer portal but only about 50% actually finding a new home. The rest are required to go to the CDC to work as vaccine test subjects. Illinois added Danny’s nephew QB Tommy DeVito ( Syracuse ) and he had a nice outing vs. Wyoming racking up a 38-6 victory in Week 0. The Hoosiers add 3 defensive players and RBs from Auburn & UNC to their roster. ZT just believes the Week 0 game is just enough to the the Fighting Illini past the Hoosiers. Native Americans 24 Native Indianans 23
Saturday 9/3
#11 Oregon Ducks vs. #3 Georgia Bulldogs 230pm
ZT remembers the last time Oregon thought they were all that and a bag of Ducks. It was 2011 in AZ when they were convinced they would win a Natty over Auburn due to their team speed. Fast forward to 2022 and here they go again ( Yep, Ronald Regan reference!..the brain supplements are firing!! ) with “look what we did to THE Ohio State in Columbus last year with a 35-28 win. Well, Oregon new HC Dan Lanning was the former GA DC.. Hmmm. While he may know GA QB Stetson Bennett ( who ZT thinks has been at GA since the 1st Crying Michael Jordan Meme surfaced ) it doesn’t automatically mean the can stop hip or the rest of the smelly K-9’s. Ducks will be lead by former Auburn QB Bo “kinda knows” Nix, who is reunited with his freshman OC ( when he actually looked more like “BO KNOWS” ). Ducks will have a solid O-Line to protect Nix and he does “know” the bulldogs. Georgia only had 15 players taken in the draft, mostly defense, but they are still loaded with talent and got Will Muschamp ( baby hulk ) coaching defense. ZT notes when you go duck hunting you need a good dog…and these are good dogs. Bulldogs 31 Wounded Ducks 20.
#23 Cincinnati Bearcats vs #19 Arkansas Razorbacks 230pm
Intriguing match up with Cincy coming off a solid year ending with Bama taking them out in the Semifinals. Really want to focus on Hog Linebacker Bumper Pool. His official birth name ( yep, have to say it that way now ) is James Morris Pool but he was called Bumper shortly after birth. At 16, he had his name changed to Bumper ( He is from Texas so not as surprising ). ZT hears the parents 1st date involved bumper pool, a pack of Marlboros, and a bottle of Fireball. Again, just word on the street. ZT believes too much rebuilding for the Bearcats and the Hogs take a close one at home in the opener. Hogs 28 Bearcats 21
#7 Utah Utes vs. Florida Gators 6pm
Utes ranked 7th out of the gate and have solid QB in Cameron “Bad Moon still” Rising from 2021. They also worked the portal on defense to reload. We will see if they are ready on Saturday night at The Swamp! Gators have talent, PERIOD! ( ok, a cheap Gutfeld! reference but likely the only 1 this year ). Gators QB Anthony Richardson looks more comfortable in the Napier RPO offense. Utes HC Kyle “I rarely smile” Whittingham took THE ( another $.25 to OSU ) Buckeyes to the limit in the Rose Bowl but was slow out of the gate last September. Can’t do that in the Swamp. Upset Special Gators 27 Utes 24
Utah State Aggies vs. #1 Bama 630pm
Not a good sign when your newspaper, The Salt Lake Tribune, lead article on the game is “How much is Bama paying Utah State to play football?”…… Aggies do have the advantage of a Week 0 home game against UConn ( 1-11 in 2021 ). They did struggle a bit with a 31-20 win at home but Come on Man!, you hoist a “We want Bama” Sign at the end? ZT knows two guys from NJ have bet $2000 for Utah State to win it all this year. Good News? They have 12 more weeks to make new wagers to pay for this one! Saban noted 2021 was a “rebuilding year” and has plenty of talent in the stable with QB Bryce Young and LB Will Anderson. USU HC Blake Anderson is a solid coach and led them to a Jimmy Kimmel Bowl win over Oregon State. Bad news….Jimmy will not be in T-Town on Saturday night nor will the Aggies have much to laugh about. Bama does have Texas on the road next week so this will be closer than Vegas sees it. Bama 48 Mormon version of the Aggies 10
Oh yeah, Bama paying them just under $2 million to come to Tuscaloosa mainly because Utah State opted to ride their bikes so the travel expense was reduced.
#5 Notre Dame Fighting Irish vs. #2 THE Ohio State Buckeyes 630pm
Best matchup of Week 1…or at least the most publicized. OSU returns 14 starters to include QB CJ Stroud, WR Smith-Njigba ( ZT always wanted a 2 word last name other than Fat Boy ) and RB TreVeyon Henderson. In addition to this, BRILLIANT quote from the The Columbus Dispatch stating “Ohio State football coach Kevin Wilson really wants a National Championship”……assume the backup story was “Buckeye Fan vows to not change underwear until we win a Natty!” Irish will be led by QB Tyler Buchner and what ZT sees as a better OL & DL. Trench warfare is important unless you get drilled with some big plays early and have to change the game plan. Buckeyes very capable of the big play. Vegas sees a blowout…ZT says a little closer Buckeyes 27 Irish Coffee 20
Sunday 9/4
FSU Seminoles vs LSU Panthera tigris 630pm
ZT cannot call LSU the “Tigahs” until HC Brian Kelly is able to speak 10 words with a REAL Cajun dialect. This should set the tone for the game……FSU is 1-0 for the 1st time in 6 years! HC Mike Norvell gets a thumbs up for breaking the bad streak. Bobby Bowden even sent a pre-game lightening strike to reinforce the need for a W. Game is shown as a “neutral site”……..New Orleans. If you buy into that as a neutral site, I will email you about your 3rd cousin in Nigeria who just passed away and bequests you $13.4 million and you just send ZT a small processing fee to get it going. Noles win was over a team from the Northeast Conference where they cancel games when the leaves turn or the syrup starts running out of the maple trees. LSU HC Brian “I dance like a dork” Kelly era opens and ZT has no further comments until we see them play. LSU 31 FSU 21
Monday 9/5
#4 Clemson Tigers vs Georgia Tech Yellowjackets
Most are looking to see how the Dabocatos perform without longtime DC Brent Venables on the sideline. ZT says its more about new OC Tony Elliott and how he can turn around the 2021 #13 offense in the ACC, YES #13 in ACC. Maybe they should talk to Bumper Pool from Ark about changing QB D J Uiagalelei to D J Bubba as that is a better fit in South Carolina and may help getting the plays in. Word is DJ dropped 20 lbs. and is expected to run more this year which is also expected to open up the passing game. (ZT never a fan of losing weight as you never know when you could end up on an island like Tom Hanks in Castaway and the extra 20 helps you survive). Defensive front will be solid and expect them in the GT backfield often. Ramblin’ Wreck has a solid QB in Jeff ” I still play the ” Sims, if he can stay healthy. Going to be a long day in Atlanta for the engineering school. Tech does have Diego, a Georgia Aquarium Sea Lion, who picked Tech by kissing a GT helment. ZT thinks he is just saying take the points. ZT not buying it. Dabo’s Boys 44 1974 AMC Pacer 13
ZT headed to the coast to watch 4 days of football and also looking out for Dolphins noting his Dolphins kickoff next week. #intuawetrust (as long as Tyrek stays healthy too! ).
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 