CFB 2023 – Week 5

Week 4 lived up to all the hype…..Ohio State and FSU pulled out road wins after being on the ropes longer than Mohammed Ali’s famous “rope-a-dope” strategy. Coach Prime got a taste of reality and even Jim Harbaugh made it back to the sideline after NCAA House Arrest. ‘Murica (since we are based in the South) better get ready for the invasion into the CFP from the West. Washington, Oregon, and USC all bowing up with some great QB leadership ( maybe the football version of “Red Dawn” ). Speaking of the South, SEC has 3 undefeated teams……sure you guessed Georgia but the other 2 are Kentucky and Missouri….so much for the West in the SEC in 2023.

Week 5 looks solid with more conference play kicking in. Of course not for Notre Dame because, according to Lou Holtz, “Most of these conference people are soft like the ground up food I eat and the Downy soft diaper I wear to bed at night!”

ZT was in Nebraska….unique place noting folks wearing all red with big “N” s tattooed in multiple places. Even had the chance to go to a “Reptile Sale”…wanted to get a Gila Monster and claim it as a “comfort animal” at the airport…was believing that would make Fox News.

ZT was able to have a special food truck meal in Nebraska. As noted, it was basically a Mexican fiesta. Please note the amount of jalapenos & olives in this feast, which is why you are getting the special “after” photo on this one!!!

Time to bestow prognostication wisdom across America before it shuts down….

#5 USC Trojans @ #29 Colorado Buffaloes 11am

Coach Prime will have his next test as a FCS HC as he looks to rebound from a thrashing in Eugene. Good News? Game will be in Boulder…. Bad News? Another Pac-12 team that’s had all they want to hear about Colorado. Word is the shakers and movers in Hollywood helped put Kelce and Tay Tay together ( via “It’s just Lunch in a Chief’s Skybox” app ) so ESPN would talk about something other than Colorado. Expecting Buffaloes to go back on the endangered football species list after this one. Trojans 49 Bison Burgers 20

#22 Florida Gators @ #27 Kentucky Wildcats 11am

Who is still undefeated in the SEC??? Sure, Georgia is but HOW ‘BOUT THEM WILDCATS!!! UF is happy with the play of QB Graham “slam” Mertz as he is completing 77% of his passes and the defense continues to take care of business. Wildcats are 4-0 but the best team they have played is Vandy. Thinking NC State transfer QB Devin Leary has been ok and the defense good as well. KY HC Mark “I hate hoops ” Stoops wins ugly all the time but believe UF HC “Sunbelt Billy” Napier has the better squad. Upset Special Gators 21 Pole Cats 20

#1 Georgia Bulldogs @ Auburn Tigers 230pm

Bulldogs continue to start slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. Will they do something different this week against a Hugh “Mr.” Freeze ( ZT- only people in retirement homes remember Mr. Freeze from Batman when you watched it on a Black & White TV with Rabbit Ears!! ) coached group of Tigers who are better than the 2022 version. This series is full of surprises and Auburn is looking for a season changing W. Tigers need to strike early and hope Bulldogs start another slow one to have a shot. ZT convinced Tigers in it until the 3rd Quarter when Bulldogs will pull away. Bulldogs 31 Improving Tigers 21

#2 Michigan Wolverines @ Nebraska Cornhuskers 230pm

Good News for Nebraska? Game to be played in Lincoln……. Bad News for Nebraska? It’s Michigan coming to town, not La. Tech. Coach “House Arrest” Harbaugh is back on the sideline ( no ankle bracelet spotted last week and does appear he has been counseled on picking his nose in public as well ) and has the Wolverines playing solid defense, consistent offense but 1st road game of the year will be the best test yet for Michigan. They need to be careful because the land of corn can be dangerous!!! Wolverines 24 Niblet Corn 16

#13 LSU Tigahs @ #20 Ole Miss Rebels/Bears/whatever 500pm

How will Ole Miss respond at home after a loss and low offensive production in Tuscaloosa last week? ZT will tell you if Bama’s QB Milroe can complete 81% of his passes on your defense ( noting he is only 52% hitting balloons with a dart at the county fair & sucks at cornhole ), no telling what LSU’s Jayden Daniels can do. Will note the Rebels doing a nice job defending the run but leaving their defense on the field too long. ZT notes Tigahs’ offense is consistent and good on 3rd downs. It all matters in Oxford. Tigahs 38 Surrendering Rebels 31

#11 Notre Dame Fighting Irish @ #17 Duke Blue Devils 630pm

Irish had considered playing Duke with only 10 players but changed their mind after last week…….Irish mental toughness will be tested after the OSU loss last week. Lou Holtz says “Duke better pack their lunch….. (Lou, you said that LAST week…are you taking the same brain supplement as Joe Biden? ). Love what Duke HC Mike “Leonard, Leonard,..” Leonard ( ZT, REALLY? A “Big Bang Theory” reference for anything related to sports noting the most athletic thing anyone on that TV show has done is open a door??). Irish need QB Sam “I got a big” Hartman and RB Estime to lead the team to a rebound. Irish 28 Do we storm the field anyway since GameDay is here? 24

#12 Bama @ Mississippi State Bulldogs 800pm

Another test for Bama, who appears set to count on defense, a grinding run game, and then just not being freakin stupid with penalties. Bulldogs unleashed the air attack last week vs. SC with Sr. QB Will “AM I the real deal?” Rogers but defense has allowed last 3 QBs to complete an average of 79% of their passes. Bama needs to “run da bawl” ( credit to Funnymaine so ZT doesn’t get sued, at least for this! ) and let Milroe toss a few to WR Burton and MD transfer TE C J Dippre (not to be confused with rapper C J Dippa – Ok ZT, like anyone reading this blog would!!??!! ). It will be loud, with the cowbells ringing more than even that Texas Tech guy could handle. It won’t be enough…. Bama 27 My clapper didn’t work 21

ZT is out…..at a reception and they are serving glazed bacon on a stick…had a whole package so far and going for more!

Padre is in the mission fields this week….the mission is to have his Gators avoid the first 3-game losing streak to Kentucky since Bear Bryant coached the Wildcats in the early 50’s!! In honor of Sargent Joe Friday, this week is “Just the Facts M’am, Just the Facts” or in the Padre’s words “Just the Prognostications!”

Kentucky 24 Florida 16

Arkansas 30 Texas A & M 27

Georgia 31 Auburn 13

Michigan 33 Nebraska 18

Texas 41 Kansas 10

LSU 34 Ole Miss 27

Tennessee 40 South Carolina 24

Notre Dame 29 Duke 24

Bama 34 Mississippi State 13

Upset of the Week Syracuse 26 Clemson 24

Major Upset of the Week

Colorado 34 Southern Cal 33

Padre is out!!!

Check back for Week 6 prognostications because the Government is likely closed and you can’t find a part to fix your car anyway so what else you gonna do??