CFB 2023 – Week 6 “You will Lose”

NO question we are much closer to the end of the world than previously thought! It should be noted the Kentucky Wildcats and Louisville Cardinals are both undefeated at 5-0 for the first time in the recorded history of COLLEGE FOOTBALL!!! Week 5 provided some notables including over 1,300 yards of total offense in the LSU-Ole Miss game, a former Vandy RB rushing for over 270 yds. and 4 TDs for Kentucky, Coach Prime & his Buffaloes making a valiant comeback effort against USC while Auburn had the Bulldogs tied up in Jordan-Hare until the end. Favorite CFB report of the week? Oregon State Coach noted for his signal for the Beavers to “Milk the Clock”….

ZT immediately thought of the this movie scene from “Meet the Fockers”…..

Ok…back to CFB!! Interesting, 22 teams are still undefeated with all but 5 on the field in Week 6. Teams getting no love? ( undefeated but still unranked ) Liberty Flames, “We ARE” Marshall Thundering Herd, Air Force Falcons, Maryland Terrapins ( with Baby Tua at QB ), and the James Madison Dukes. ZT’s advice? Just keep winning! ( thanks for earning another “Captain Obvious Award ZT! ). In the words of Ivan Drago… ” You will Lose”….some of you anyway!

ZT was in Washington DC and had a chance to go to one of his favorite places from his days living in Alexandria. Hard Times Cafe…love it and their slogan “Because You Deserve A Great Bowl of Chili”….As noted below, ZT may not have the same time in the 40 but he can still knock out a plate of chili at Hard Times!!!

#12 Oklahoma Sooners @ #3 Texas Longhorns 11am

Loving this “Pre-SEC” match-up! Good news for OU is this one is played in the Cotton Bowl vs. Austin. Oh yeah, both are 5-0 and ZT likes what both of these squads have done in 2023. HC Sark has the Defense working harder than an ugly stripper this season and that has been the difference this season while QB Quinn Ewers has 10 TDs and only 1 INT. Cross the Red River and the Sooners are loving being the undefeated underdog. OU HC Venables is loving HEALTHY UCF transfer QB Dillon Gabriel with over 1500 yds, 15 TDs and only 2 INTs. The intangible here? Sooners are tired of hearing about Texas as much as Oregon/USC were about Colorado. ZT calling the upset special before lunch! Sooners 31 Bruised Bevo 28

#23 LSU Tigahs @ #21 Missouri Tigers 11am

How does HC Lyin’ Brian Kelly get his Tigahs over last weeks “track meet” loss to Ole Miss? Well, his only option is a road trip to Columbia MO to play the UNDEFEATED Tigers! In fairness, the only below par team Mizzou hasn’t played is the Citadel. That’s ok as ZT loves HC Eli “I would like to have a ” Drinkwitz “you” from his days at Appy State. QB Brady Cook is hitting 75% of his passes, has 11 TD’s and NO INTs. LSU has a great offense but the defense leaves receivers more open than the Texas border. CFB already over for LSU but just believe the Tigahs squeak out a W. TIGAHS 38 TIGERS 35

#26 Maryland Terrapins @ #4 THE Ohio State Buckeyes 11am

Simple….ZT is a Dolphins Fan and Baby Tua is the QB at Maryland.. and Justin Fields cost ZT a bet on Thursday Night…deep analysis … Wishful Upset Special Maryland 28 Those OHIO guys 27………. UPDATE: ZT just released from Concussion Protocol!! Revised Prognostication: THE Buckeyes 38 Non-Ninja Turtles 17

#13 Washington State Cougars @ UCLA Bruins 2pm

Wazzou is staying under the radar so far. Not hard in the Pac-12 with Heisman QBs everywhere and Coach Prime prancing his Buffaloes all over the west. All Cougar QB Cameron Ward (transfer from Incarnate Word) is doing is leading the CFB #6 offense behind his 400 yds PG in the air. The spirit of Pirate Mike Leach still lingers in Pullman. As well known as HC Chip Kelly is, if you Google UCLA Head Coach…. it goes to basketball. All ZT needs to know. Cougars 27 Pumpkin Spice People 24

#11 Bama @ Texas A&M Aggies 230pm

Intriguing matchup! Bama defense looks good, really good over the past few weeks. Offense looks committed the run with a mix of short passes, a few bombs just because you have to, and after 3.8 seconds in the pocket? Run, Milroe, Run! Aggies QB Max “imum” Johnson transferred from LSU in 2022 and is doing a nice job as they have scored 34+ in 4 of 5 games. Defense has been stingy, since the Miami loss, averaging under 12 PPG in the last 3. It is in College Station, the 12th man still resides there, and Gary Danielson calling the game. None of that in Bama’s favor Winner is in the driver’s seat to win the west. Saban’s squad finds a way late… Maybe a Reichard FG… BAMA 20 Agony in Aggieland 17

#20 Kentucky Wildcats @ #1 Georgia Bulldogs 6pm

Bulldogs HC Kirby Smart has tossed out so many curse words at his team for slow starts that even a group of Russian Sailors got embarrassed by the language. Cats HC Mark Stoops just wins….Solid Offense with Devin “My girlfriend still wears leggins” Leary has 10 TD but 5 INTs. Vandy transfer RB “You can call me” Ray Davis ( ZT…most reading this blog were not even born when this shtick started in the 70’s….go eat some fiber ZT!! ) had a huge day vs. UF last week…but Bulldogs in Athens ain’t the same. KY keeps close but won’t get the W Between the Hedges Bulldogs 27 Kinda Wildcats 16

#10 Notre Dame Fighting Irish @ #25 Louisville Cardinals 630pm

Fighting Irish recognized playing with 11 men on the field was a better deal last week as they took out Duke in Durham. This game was supposed to be another easy W for ND with USC coming to town next week but WAIT JUST A MINUTE>>> Louisville is 5-0! Irish have 30 wins in a row over ACC “competition” in the words of Pedro Cerrano in “Major League” ( a little reference to MLB with playoffs underway ) ” Bring that Sh*$ to me” in the SEC! Anyway, Cardinals competition is about the same as having a street fight against the Chess Team but they are undefeated with some solid play by QB Jack Plummer ( no relation to Jake Plummer, former AZ Cardinal QB, or Jake from State Farm for that matter..) Irish showed “toughness” against Duke on the road after the OSU loss. Loving what Irish HC Marcus Freeman is doing…. Fighting Irish 35 Dead Red Birds 24

Arizona Wildcats @ #9 USC Trojans 930pm

Sure this is a no-brainer….or is it a classic TRAP game for the Trojans after holding off a major comeback by Coach Prime’s Buffaloes last week and the annual match up with Notre Dame next week? ZT only knows the USC defense plays with the same intensity of a flashlight with 3 year old batteries in the trunk of your car. Lots of points, maybe in “garbage time” but “Stinkin” Lincoln Riley and his pack of Trojans will get the W. Trojans 48 Cats drunk on Catnip 24

ZT is out….heavy travel, including Canada, for work….may read up on CFL and look for an old Doug Flutie or Warren Moon Jersey…or maybe not!!

Padre is stagging a “sit in” at Gatorland in Orlando with a 10 lb. chicken around his neck as part of the post KY- UF game recovery. Hopefully he survives and can prognosticate!

Padre is IN!

Florida 26 Vandy 23

How can one describe the state of the Florida fanbase (my fanbase)? I’ll try: Earlier in the week I saw a post that said it was “Vandy Hate Week.” I thought that it couldn’t get any lower than that. Who hates Vandy?!? And what fanbase needs to pump themselves up for Vandy?!? Well, I THOUGHT that was the low point. Then, later in the week, I saw a popular Gator blogger post something like “Vandy is a must win.” If your program EVER reaches the point where Vandy is a must win game, then it’s time to look into Premier League “futbol” as your new hobby. Go Liverpool! Or Man City! Or whoever. I dunno. I don’t watch soccer.

Ohio State 38 Maryland 20

An Ohio State buddy of mine said that this was the perfect trap game for Ohio State. This is the same guy who verbally castigates me when I complain about Florida losing to, well, teams like Vandy! Yet when Ohio State doesn’t beat Youngstown State by 77 points, he goes off about how bad they are. He’s also a Browns fan so he has practice at real whining. But his Scarlett cynicism is, as Biden would say, ” Malarky!” Or as Trump would say, “False! Not True!”. Buckeyes will roll! And Saturday will be great….then comes Sunday in Cleveland.

Minor Upset Mizzou 34 LSU 31

Oh My, the Cajun Cats had a slip-up in Oxford. And evidently, Ole Miss security has no problem laying out college girls running on the field ( look it up ). LSU is depressed. Natty hopes are gone. Kelly’s old team is doing better so far this year. I say the Tigers of Columbia take out the Tigahs of Baton Rouge. That etouffee getting a little too salty in Louisiana.

Red River Shootout, uh Rivalry, uh Competition…uh, Friendship?

Texas 30 Oklahoma 26

Texas is the new sports media darling. The Longhorns are good. Oklahoma looks good too. But those fried Snickers Bars at the Texas State Fair look great! The game is great one too, with the Horns taking it by four. And then they will play again in Dallas in December, but that game will be in a stadium worth billions, not hundreds!

UCLA 33 Wazzou 27

Did you know Wazzou is ranked #13? Neither did I. Good for them!! Great/Classic logo too! UCLA still wins.

FSU 44 Va. Tech 16

There was a day not too long ago when the Hokies dominated the ACC. But that’s not today. Nope! Today? Lucifer’s hometown team is undefeated and rolling. Meanwhile, his vacation home’s team is Athens is also rolling. I think I will read the Old Testament book of Lamentations for my devotions this weekend.

Bama 27 Texas A & M 20

Jimbo seems to play Saban well. I think this game will be close again, but I have a feeling Nick and his undervalued Tide takes the W back with them to T-Town. And thus will begin the final run for Jimbo in College Station. Question: The best job to have in the 2020s?! Answer: Fired SEC Head Coach!! As Coach O explained a couple of years ago, Jimbo will have plenty of money to buy some cheeseburgers…..and a Ferrari….a vacation home in Italy. Fired SEC Coach = Best Job In America.

Georgia 41 Kentucky 10

Kentucky is riding high after 3 straight wins over my Gators – who once won 31 straight over the Cats. Unfortunately for UK, beating UF isn’t what it used to be. It’s like beating the Mets in baseball in 2023 and bragging that you took down the team of Strawberry and Gooden. Georgia reminds Kentucky of this truth and mud-hole stomps them into basketball season.

Notre Dame 30 Louisville 17

Notre Dame owns the ACC. No amount of fried chicken and baseball bats can stop the luck of the Irish. Domers by 13.

Upset of the Week #1 Syracuse 31 North Carolina 30

UNC has a HUGE game with Miami next week. Syracuse always seems to surprise a team every season – saving Dino’s job. I think this is that game. Then next week Miami sends a brokenhearted UNC into basketball season as well.

Upset of the Week #2 Arkansas 38 Ole Miss 37

Oh Kiffin. What a rollercoaster of a guy you are. Maybe the most hated coach of my life 15 or so years ago. Nobody liked you! Even Daniel Tosh annihilated you on his show. But Now? People seem to like you. Some people like you a lot. Even my Gator friends talk about how you could be our next coach. As Michael Scott once said, ” How the turn tables.” With all of that, I say Arkansas has NOTHING to lose. Last week, the ghost of Archie seemed to fill the gridiron. Wait…he’s still alive. That doesn’t make sense. But you get my point. This week? The ghost of, well, Ole Miss football since Archie left returns. Arkansas with the big upset.

ZT on the road as noted while Padre is just making sure his Gators are not looking ahead to South Carolina with the “must win” Vandy game on the line!