Life is GOOD!!! Ok, not for every team but that is how you must look at college football when coming into the last weekend in October. By now, most ( not all but that is why ZT didn’t use the word “all”! ) of the hype teams have been figured out. Not because Harbaugh’s Hoodlums have stolen their playbooks, etc. but simply because it is hard to “fake it” for 8 weeks.
As crazy as the world is today, some things are getting back to normal like UNC losing and no longer being in the Top 10, Michigan AGAIN being caught doing something nefarious, Tennessee complaining about the refs, and UMASS proving they belong in the Bottom Ten by losing 63-0 to Penn State….. Amazing how those things make ZT believe the end of the world is a at least a few more days away!
ZT was able to revisit a favorite Food Truck, The Smoke Ring ( partly as an extension to smoking a stogie after the Bama- UT game ) and it did NOT disappoint.
You will note ZT’s consumption time on this was a little longer but Come On Man, it was ribs!!!
Padre is NOT in the house as he is outside preparing for the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party in Jacksonville FL….no efforts to convert water to anything, just getting ready for GA vs UF with some prognostications for Week 9!
Georgia 41 Florida 16
There are some Florida fans who think we have a shot. Why? Because we won a close game on the road against 2-5 South Carolina. While I am hoping Billy is building this thing for the long term, we are still SUPER young. I am living in reality and not Fantasia. We also do not have anywhere near the depth of Georgia. Not only does Georgia cover, I say they win big. This means that there is still a real chance Georgia and FSU play for the Natty. For a Gator fan, that option is about as appealing as choosing between a colonoscopy or being kicked hard in the, well, you know. Maybe FSU has a tough opponent this week and they lose. Let’s see……
FSU 44 Wake Forest 17
…..Well, we saw. And I see Wake Forest – and not even Sam Hartman Wake Forest. So yeah, what do I see? I see a 20+ point victory for the Noles. (BARFF! )
Inflation. Political Unrest. Georgia and FSU in the CFP. As a pastor, I have always avoided crazy “end-times theology”, but I think these may indeed be signs of the Apolcalypse. We all got it wrong. It wasn’t Y2K that would take us down, it was a combination of grown mean barking and middle class people doing some fake, repetitive tomahawk chop in an aluminum erector-set stadium in Tallahassee.
Louisville 30 Duke 24
The obvious comment here would be a basketball joke, but both of these teams are actually good at football this year! Another sign that the world is turned upside down. I say the Cards find a way in this epic pigskin battle.
Oregon 26 Utah 24
Two teams in need of a big win to stay in the Pac12 hunt. This game is in Salt Lake City, so I was initially leaning to the Utes. However, in the end, I think the Ducks find a way on the road. People keep saying the Pac12 may be the best conference this season. Can you imagine what it feels like to hear that if you are the Pac12 Commissioner – as teams leave for Big 10 and ACC?? That’s like your girlfriend saying, “I love you more than him. You’re smarter than him. You’re a better man than him. You’re even better looking than him! But, he has a big money deal with ESPN, so I am going to marry him. But hey, let’s make these last couple of weeks the best weeks ever. No hard feeling, right?” I can’t wait for those regional volleyball battles between Duke and Stanford, or those Tuesday night lacrosse matches between UCLA and Rutgers. But no hard feelings, right?
Tennessee 27 Kentucky 23
My favorite Tennessee jokes as a Gator? Here are three:
How do you know when you’re staying in a Knoxville hotel? When you call the front desk and say “I’ve got a leak in my sink” and the person at the front desk says “go ahead.”
Did you hear about the Florida Gator that transferred to Tennessee? He raised the IQ at both schools!
Will Rogers obviously never met Phil Fulmer.
In spite of these jokes, I still say Tennessee wins a close one in Lexington.
Ohio State 30 Wisconsin 17
Ohio State fans are furious!! Harbaugh may have been sign-stealing, which explains (to them) how he was able to beat them two years in a row. Because, for Buckeye fans, how else could ANYBODY beat Ohio State unless they cheat?! They are the mighty Ohio State. It’s not possible to lose to anyone.
Sarcasm aside, I actually think the sign-stealing probably did help Michigan beat Ohio State… I just don’t like giving credit to the Buckeyes and their Youngstown State loaded schedule. Plus, they allowed Georgia to win another Natty by missing a FG at midnight. At that moment, THE Ohio State University turned into a rotten pumpkin for all I care. Not that I am bitter of anything…
UPSET of the Week Kansas 34 Oklahoma 33
Yup, you are reading that correctly. I think Kansas shocks the college football world and takes down the Sooners. I say Oklahoma misses a late 40ish yard FG to clinch it for KU. Kansas rushes the field and instead of the goalpost coming down, a basketball game breaks out. It’s only natural.
I know my commentaries were not as humorous this week – if they ever are. But I do have an excuse: My brain is fried because I am producing a new movie titled “The CFP Horror Picture Show”. It is starring a bunch of men painted red and black while dressed in spiked shoulder pads who bark like dogs. It also includes masses of people who stand in unison and move their arms back and forth like something out of Orwell’s 1984 – but with a chant. It’s a brutal movie. It may go down as the most grotesque horror film of all time. I fully expect an NC-17 rating.
ZT back from the road ( been gone so much I may do a remake of Johnny Cash’s “I’ve been everywhere man!” song ) and straight to the prognostications.
#6 Oklahoma Sooners @ Kansas Jayhawks 11am
OU has won 35 of the last 40 meetings and 18-0 on the most recent streak. Sooners QB “Thrillin” Dillon Gabriel ( 19TDs and only 3 INTs ) has the folks in Norman saying “Caleb Who?” ( ZT notes recent Vegas updates have USC QB Caleb Williams with same odds of winning the Heisman as Bama’s Jalen Milroe, who is a much nicer guy anyway! ). Sooners had a scare from UCF after a W over Texas with in-state Stillwater rival OSU next week. Kansas fans are the most optimistic bunch every week ( not just because they want to get Saturday over so they can watch Tay Tay do shooters in the KC box with Kelce’s mom while she continually slaps Mahomes’ brothers hand off her toosh while humming “Shake it Off” ) No time to overlook the 5-2 Jayhawks who lost a tough one in Stillwater last week. KU QB Jason Bean is solid. They will give the Sooners a run but the Boomer Schooner has just had a fresh DOT and CFB inspection and is ready for a run for the CFP. KU won’t be able to wreck the Schooner this week. Boomer Sooners 34 Basketball Birds 24
#1 Georgia Bulldogs vs Florida Gators in JAX 230pm
Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party in World. UF should win because it is in the state of Florida and Gator QB Graham Mertz has nearly the same stats as Bulldog QB Carson Beck….actually 2 less INTs! ( ok ZT, What’s next? Going to compare their stats to a kid playing QB in intramural football at Iowa – ok, sure he has more offense than the Hawkeyes but this is about Georgia vs. Florida ZT! ). The likely hood of UF rallying to beat Georgia has the same odds as one finding their soul mate on their next flight on Southwest Airlines when you are in boarding group C! Bulldogs 31 Future Designer Handbags 20
#8 Oregon Ducks @ #13 Utah Utes 230pm
Should be the best game of the week. UTES HC Kyle Whittingham is tougher than a Nudist visiting a porcupine farm. Ducks are solid but have been shaky on the road. Ok, 1 loss is to Washington but did struggle vs. Texas Tech. Utes defend their home turf like a pit bull does a dead hog carcass. ZT going with the upset special in this one! UTES 24 It’s Duck Season 21
#20 Duke Blue Devils @ #18 Louisville Cardinals 230pm
Interesting ACC match up of Hoops rivals on the gridiron. Biggest question is will Duke QB Riley Leonard and CB Myles “Davis” Jones play. Duke HC Mike Elko is more concerned than a long tailed cat in an old folks home full of rocking chairs about this situation. It’s Duke..there is really no “next man up” in Durham for football. Cardinals had a bye week after a tough loss to Pitt but expect HC Jeff Brohm to have them ready for a rebound this week. Cardinals 28 Durham Debutants 17
#22 Tulane Green Wave at Rice Owls 300pm
Rice is ranked as one of the most “average teams” in CFB ( by ZT research noting ranked 76 out of 133 teams )… The Green Wave is ranked #22 and they continue to believe they are anything but average after a solid 2022 campaign! ZT still loving Tulane QB Michael “my younger brother is a brat” Pratt and RB Makhi Hughes. Owls QB JT Daniels came from the highly touted Mater Dei High School QB factory but is more of a factory outlet reject QB and has a lifetime pass on Greyhound for all the school transfers he has done. Green Wave 35 Cooked Rice 20
#21 Tennessee Vols @ Kentucky Wildcats 600pm
UT Coach Josh “Bobby Hill” Heupel ( who is so ugly he could keep buzzards off road kill ) spent more time this week “silently” complaining about officiating after last weeks 2nd half collapse against Bama. ZT was at the game and can personally attest that no one in a striped shirt scored a TD but the zebras still looked better than the Vols defense. Wildcats were undefeated until they were thumped by Georgia and Mizzou ( which means they haven’t been undefeated for several weeks ZT! ). Will note UT WR Squirrel White is slipperier than snot on a glass door knob so KY DBs will be busier than a 1 armed barber with poison ivy this week. That is just too busy. Vols win in a close one with a late bad call by the refs in their favor. Foxworthy’s Favorites 28 Wildcats 27
#11 Oregon State Beavers @ Arizona Wildcats 930pm
Nothing like going to the desert to watch Beavers and Wildcats fight ( unless you live in Alabama and can go to a Cock fight with ZT because…..Never mind, got enough trouble without PETA coming after ZT ). Both teams coming off bye weeks. Always interesting to see how teams respond to time off. Beavers thumped the Pumpkin Spice Latte Drinkers of UCLA while AZ throttled Washington State on the road. QB DJ “My Mom Plays the” Ukulele ( ZT couldn’t spell or say his name at Clemson and just because he is 3000 miles to the west and ZT tried ChatGPT, he still can’t say it or spell it ) is a new man now that he is in Corvallis!! 15 TDs and only 4 INTs. AZ QB Noah “Steak” Fafita has been great off the bench but will it be enough? ZT sees a high scoring affair… Beavers 35 Cactus Lovers 30
Padre and ZT are taking off until November…..check back then!!
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 