This week does have a lot of “You will pay us how much to come play at your stadium??” games. CUPCAKES everywhere!! It’s ok, just part of the preparation for the Thanksgiving Weekend buffet of rivalry games but there are 4 Top 25 matchups and a few other contest that may impact conference championships/bowls and even the CFP.
Week 11 ignited the annual “Fire that Bum!” action with Jimbo Fisher being the 1st big name. Can’t call him “Dumbo” after he is set to collect $76 million for getting the Texas A & M “Agonies” bowl eligible. Note below he was seen out boating with Coach O who advised him “you got more than me, so your buying the fuel & beer but this ain’t all bad brother!”
ZT has some recent travel “food photos” but had a unique revelation recently at his dentist. New group and they have moved from a traditional office to a complex with multiple amenities ( ZT notes they are very young and play relaxing music and have wide screens showing waterfalls and wild horses running through fields – reminiscent of a scene in the 1973 film Soylent Green, which you young people will have to Google ). Note they do have an excellent cafe/grill (Yes, in the lobby of the Dentist office!) and love the fact ZT can finish a dental check up/cleaning and immediately dive into food with his sparkling molars and incisors. Also why ZT schedules at 7am only! They have a Breakfast Sandwich which is excellent. ZT asked if he should add bacon or sausage and the cook just smiled and said “for you? BOTH!”….
The other good news about the above scenario? Just leaving the dentist, ZT had the complimentary supplies to get his mouth “right” before heading to the office. Not sure why they also included mouthwash with a sticky note that said “get a bigger bottle & use more often!!!”
ZT ready to prognosticate so he can start on his annual stomach stretching regiment with Thanksgiving less than a week away and, since so many “joke” games on the slate, will include a few old dude jokes in honor of this weekend’s slate…
#11 Louisville Cardinals @ Miami Hurricanes 11am
Something seems wrong with this one. 9-1 Louisville needs this W to lock in an ACC Championship date with FSU. Hurricanes are 6-4 looking for a better bowl game than the Pinstripe Bowl. And Vegas has this one basically a Pick ‘Em? ZT just believes in Brohm and the Cardinals. BTW, did you hear about the Miami Hurricane fan that lost $100 betting on the game?? Lost $50 on the game and $50 on the replay…… Upset Special Cardinals 28 Ocean Breeze 24
#1 Georgia Bulldogs @ #21 Tennessee Volunteers 230pm
Another week, another opponent….. will note this opponent is at home and would love nothing more than to knock the Dawgs off their new #1 CFP ranking. ZT (ok, and maybe a few others) note Vols are 5-0 at home and its also hunting season and when many UT fans in jail are let out for Thanksgiving and able to attend a game in their prison jumpsuits. Makes for a wild environment. Dawgs will be welcomed in Knoxville about the same as a tornado at a trailer park…. What do you get when you cross a Vol fan and a pig? Nothing, somethings even a pig won’t do. Dawg lineman was bragging to his coach that he finished a jigsaw puzzle in 3 months…Coach asked “why would you brag about that?”…..Lineman said “well, it said 4-6 years on the box?!?!” Dawgs find a way….. Dawgs 31 Orange People 21
#22 North Carolina Tar Heels @ Clemson Tigers 230pm
Tigers were considered done when at 4-4 and “Tyler from Spartanburg” considered Dabo as worthless as a steering wheel on a mule…..2 weeks later and the Tigers are proving a dead bee can still sting! Tar Heels have an outside chance of making the ACC title game but are not playing defense in a manor that will likely allow that vs. Clemson and then NC State. Difference in this one is UNC defense…..its so bad that when ZT’s vacuum broke last week, he put a “UNC Defense” sticker on it and it sucked again. Tigers 35 Planter Fasciitis 31
#23 Kansas State Wildcats @ #27 Kansas Jayhawks 600pm
One of those rivalry games that is BEFORE Thanksgiving weekend. KU QB Jason Bean is out and Freshman Ballard expected to start…This game hopefully is good but just in case……
Things you will NOT hear a Kansas State player say: ” I will take Shakespeare for $1,000!” “No, Let’s go to the museum instead of the pub crawl!” “I have reviewed your job application”
Things Kansas Jayhawks players think: Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in Kansas City. Taco Bell is the official phone company of Mexico. You can take a fishing pole to SeaWorld.
Ok……Purple Power Cats 35 Wheat eaters without a QB 28
#5 Washington Huskies @ #10 Oregon State Beavers 630PM
No jokes on this one as it is one of the few REAL Games this week. ZT still a fan of Huskies & QB Michael “I have a Heisman worthy” Penix Jr…..they find a way to win. ZT has been on the wrong side of the Beavers more than once this year and that was both calling them to win as well as lose. Like their run game and nicely supported by their QB DJ U ( still can’t spell it or say it ) who can run and pass. Confident this one is settled in the final 120 seconds. Closer than a straight razor shave…. ZT says UW gets to 11-0 in Corvallis. Furry Huskies 31 Shaved Beavers 30
ZT Stomach Stretcher Special Selections
#16 Utah Utes @ #19 Arizona Wildcats 1pm
Solid game in the Punk-12!! Like an old gameshow, “will the real UTAH please show up!?!” ZT still blames Fat Pat McAfee for the Oregon loss but UTES were solid vs. Washington. Key to a Utah win? RUN THE BALL! SO???? Problem, Wildcats have not allowed over 150 on the ground this year. ZT likes AZ QB Noah “I like beef and chicken” Fifita “s” who doesn’t have to carry the entire load but if he can avoid mistakes, Wildcats can get the W. Wildcats 24 Did you say “Utes?” 21
UCLA Bruins @ USC Trojans 230pm
At the beginning of the season, this game was to mean something but since it is now a joke, this is all I got…..
What do you call a USC grad in a suit? Defendant What do UCLA and USC students have in common? All were admitted to USC Why is USC considered a private school? No one wants to publicly admit they go there. Why do some students choose USC over UCLA? It’s easier to spell… Ok, just to be fair….
What do you call a UCLA grad in a January bowl game? Referee What does the average UCLA player get on his S.A.T.? Drool Hear about the UCLA player that stole a police car? He saw “911” on the side and thought it was a Porsche …
Enough….. Used Trojans 38 Endangered Bears 30
Florida Gators @ #11 Missouri Tigers 630pm
Gators Offense continues to improve under HC Billy “PLEASE be a Hero” Napier (ZT, how many people even know Bo Donaldson and The Heywoods to make that WEAK musical connection? At least try something from 50 cent or Dr. Dre?? ) and QB Mertz better than he was at the cheese factory in Wisconsin with improving WRs as well. That said, their secondary comes off receivers faster than a cheerleader’s dress on prom night. Mizzou is now the highest ranked 2-loss team in CFP rankings…..nice but as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle… Gators have to win this week or next vs. FSU to make a bowl…..ok, they have to win this week and its on the road. Note Gators only have 1 W on the road and 1 W vs. a team with a winning record. Tigers too much at home with FSU in the swamp next week…. Tigers 35 Preparing the Swamp for FSU 21
ZT been on the road in Kansas….still doesn’t understand why Dorothy was trying to get back there so bad. Padre is advising Gator fans NOT to attempt the ancient practice of eating over a body to consume the sins of the deceased. Notes it is an absolute myth and trying this over a live alligator makes about as much sense as hugging a cactus. Hopefully he is able to prognosticate!
9:07am UPDATE: PADRE has saved all the UF fans he can and is now ready to prognosticate!!!
Georgia 34 Tennessee 17
Some would say this is like David vs Goliath. However, I refuse to believe David would ever wear that pumpkin puke orange. Georgia may be Goliath, but their David will not be Tennessee. We Gators are just hoping David isn’t living in Tallahassee right now. Because if that happens, our options will be between a root canal and a colonoscopy.
Mizzou 41 Florida 24
701 yards of UF’s defense last week. 3 blue chip recruits lost during the week. 5-5 on the season. Meanwhile, Mizzou is good and favored heavily over Florida. There is an old SNL skit where Chris Farley from “Da Bears” pretends it is 1986 ( or was it 1987? Doesn’t matter) and that the Bears are good. I think that will be my strategy from now on. I am putting on my Starter Pullover Bomber Jacket and heading to Blockbuster for a good movie tonight. As I driver around in my Plymouth Sundance sedan, my 10 disc CD player is loaded with Tupac and Biggie. Steve Spurrier is making fun of other teams and backing it up on the field. People aren’t offended by every little thing, and Seinfeld is the top show. All is well with the world. GO GATORS!
FSU – Whatever North Alabama – Whatever
Whatever!
Miami 26 Louisville 24
Louisville is rolling. To me, this is the perfect slip-up game. Miami rises to the occasion and messes up the race for 2nd place in the ACC. By the way, Miami is good at basketball and Louisville in bad a basketball. I am sure some Left Behind end-times type thinker could tie all this into the Rapture or something.
Michigan 38 Maryland 20
Harbaugh on Monday: ” This is my Spartacus moment. I will have my day in court!” Harbaugh on Thursday: “This matter is settled and I will watch the game from the hotel. My lawyers have told me to give no other comment.” Spartacus has been 21st Centuyized. I am kidding, of course. He didn’t say these things. If I don’t say those last two lines, I am sure somewhere a Michigan fan will lost it and somehow blame everybody else but Harbaugh and Michigan for the scandal. – 21st Century Spartacus!!
Clemson 30 North Carolina 26
North Carolina has a shot at Charlotte. Clemson has more talent. Clemson finds a way. I would then say this helps Louisville ( even if they lose ), but I confess that (1) I have no idea who really has the inside track in the ACC to play FSU ( SEC arrogance and all ), and (2) my team in so bad my football depression refuses to allow me to care much about anything. It took a Red Bull and some smelling salt to even get me out of the bed this morning. Then I saw Florida highlights from last week and immediately went back to bed.
Washington 44 Oregon State 41
Last time I checked, Oregon State is favored in this game. I am surprised by that, but, like with the pick above, I admit I do not follow in detail what happens in the Pac 12 (2). I still think the Huskies have what it takes to pull out the victory. With that, I do want to point out that Washington’s QB was #1 on almost all Heisman lists until Daniels went nuclear on Florida. So, I just want every SEC fan to acknowledge what we Gators took for the conference team this week. You’re welcome, SEC NATION!!! #TeamPlayer
Upset of the Week Iowa State 24 Texas 23
When I used to play NCAA Football from EA Sports, I would sometimes be Iowa State. And for that reason alone, I say the Cyclones pull off the upset ( amazing logic, I know ). I may be retired from video game coaching ISU ( with my statue outside the stadium), but I will be pulling hard for my former team Once a Cyclone, always a Cyclone.
Padre out….heading back to bed with his stuffed Gator for comfort!
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 