CFB 23 – Week 13 Rivalry Saturday

PLEASE…I will even eat a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich but NO MORE TURKEY!!!!

ZT finished his Thanksgiving Abdomen prep recently in Columbia SC at Doc’s BBQ & Southern Buffet…Yes, focus was on the buffet….Knew it was the right place when a platoon of military men & women entered the establishment! Note ZT had to “gorge in” noting the price for a to-go plate….

As noted below, the line was extensive; the aftermath was as expected….

Enough about food as Rivalry Weekend is HERE!!! Take the EGG BOWL as an example of what can happen!! Miss. State Interim HC enters the field on a 4 x 4 and that was telling for the type game the Bulldogs played….Held the high-powered Rebel Offense to 17 points. Ok, while it was about as exciting as a mashed potato sandwich, Kiffin did get to 10 wins with that one but not the game anyone expected. So, now that you are trying to determine what else you can make with the turkey leftovers, let’s give you something else to ponder with some Rivalry Saturday Prognostications!

Padre is out of the gate first with his prophetic prognostications….

THE GAME Ohio State 24 Michigan 23

Boogers. Khakis. Sign Stealing. vs. Woody Hayes hitting a kid. Urban Meyer imploding. Players selling jewelry. Well, Martin Luther once spoke about sinning boldly. I am way out of context here, but don’t let that ruin a good story! I say that today “cooler” is better than ” bolder” in our culture ( sigh!). Ohio State’s overall sins seem cooler to me, so I say the cooler team wins a nail-biter classic. I want to remind you that this pick was brought to you by a pastor or over 20 years. Now go and sin no more! —Unless you’re FSU or Georgia. If that’s the case, your very nature is an abomination!!! J/k!!!!!

Louisville 30 Kentucky 20

Simply put: Louisville is better and they win this game. You could almost say that “it is in the Cards!” ( Bad Dad Joke #9,457)

The Iron Bowl Bama 40 Auburn 17

First years are difficult, Hugh. It’s always the same story: Things are moving in a positive direction. Then, out of nowhere, mighty New Mexico State comes into town and guns you down like Billy the Kid. It’s okay Hugh, Saban lost to La Monroe in year one and even compared it to Pearl Harbor! So, the future could be bright on The Plains. Then again, he’s Nick Saban. So, for this year at least, here is my advice: Show up, try your best, and smile when the GOAT looks at you and says, “I’ll make you famous.” ( some children of the 80’s will immediately get that Western/New Mexico/Billy the Kid movie joke).

Upset of the Week #2

South Carolina 27 Clemson 26

For some odd reason, I think Shane is gonna do it again!! And I think Dabo will somehow blame it on the transfer portal.

Upset of the Week #3

Florida 30 FSU 29

I know this may sound crazy, and I probably don’t even believe it deep-down inside….BUT, I want to believe my insanely young team will actually cover a 4th and 17 this time. I want to believe it’s all youth and that they will learn to tackle, block, cover, get 11 men on a field goal, etc. I want to believe, and so this week I will pick this game on what I want to happen more than what I know should happen. Like a Game of Throne episode title, if it is a close/classic battle, this game will go down as “The Battle of the Backups.” The question? Who has the the real John Snow?? Travis and Mertz didn’t deserve an ending like this, but now the next man must step up. Props to both teams rallying around their leaders. Here’s hoping my guys step more than their guys. Gators win a thriller!! Meanwhile, somewhere in the background George Straight is selling ocean-front property in s Arizona. GO GATA!!

Padre is out to go online for some Cyber Saturday deals on Gator apparel and watching 12 hours of football, mixed with old Steve Spurrier post game press conferences….

ZT is still attempting to digest all the food he has consumed since starting with the Hardees super biscuit early Thursday Morning……closest comparison is this picture from nature…

#2 Ohio State Buckeyes @ #3 Michigan Wolverines 11am – THE GAME

Battle of the unbeatens in the Big 10. Key match up will be the OSU O-Line vs. a stout Michigan Defense. Harbaugh will be as useless as the “ueue” in the word Queue as he finishes his 2nd sports probation of 2023. Heck, even the blade runner, Oscar Pistorius is out on parole for The Game. For the Buckeyes, QB McCord and WR Marin Harrison, Jr. need to stay connected with RB Treyvon Henderson rushing for at least 100 yds. OSU defense is good and needs to be very good this week ( ok, another Captain Obvious award nomination for that one ZT ). Michigan can’t assume OSU is same as the 2022 edition and the Wolverines outing vs. Maryland didn’t make their fans feel better about this week. ZT noting QB J.J. “I am not the Speaker of the House” McCarthy has had a similar few weeks as the former Speaker…not great. ZT going with the upset in Ann Arbor. Upset Special Buckeyes 24 Member of the Weasel family 21

#8 Bama vs Auburn Tigers 230pm – The Iron Bowl

Hate the Tigers lost to N M State last week…..never good for the opposition the week before a rivalry game. Bama headed to Atlanta for a date with Georgia in the SEC Championship but NEVER will they look past the Auburn game. Bama Offense has found its “Milroe rhythm” and defense is top shelf with strong linebacker play from both Dallas Turner and Chris Braswell. ZT basically feels Tigers offense looked slower than a snail with asthma last week and can NOT afford to do that this week…No way they will. QB Thorne can run/throw and RB Jarquez Hunter can run/catch… ITS THE IRON BOWL and even a dead bee can sting you!…. ZT says Bama gets the W but closer than Vegas thinks in Auburn. Bama 27 War Tigers 20

Washington State Cougars vs #4 Washington Huskies 3pm – The Apple Cup

Huskies can NOT look ahead to the Punk-12 Championship…..good news is they are at home and Wazzou, although coming off a nice home W over Coach “past my 2023” Prime, is just not playing at the same level. Yes, its a rivalry and the Cougars need this one to get bowl eligible but QB Cam Ward must have a near 400 yard game with no more than 1 INT…..Important as they run less than a sumo wrestler. Huskies jumped into the #4 CFP slot with the FSU situation and they recognize the “2 wins and you’re in” scenario. ZT loves Michael Penix, Jr., who leads the league with almost 3,700 yards and 30 TDs vs. only 7 INTs……Weather in Seattle looks clear so expect them to air it out. BLOW OUT at Husky Stadium as they look for CFP committee style points…..If you like to wager, remember it is a rivalry and Wazzou capable of some “garbage time” points ….. Huskies 41 His Mom’s a Cougar 21

FSU Seminoles vs Florida Gators 600pm – The Florida Cup

Battle of the Backup QBs……..FSU needs to show the football world ( OK really only CFP committee ) they deserve a Top 4 slot in the CFP if they win out. Gators need a W to beat their rival, get bowl eligible, get the 15 extra practices that come with that, AND show the world of recruits, Billy’s got this! Hate to see FSU’s Travis and UF’s Mertz on the sideline but no question it should bring this match-up closer to center than it was. Seminoles QB Tate “It’s my fate” Rodemaker will be under center ( are any QB’s REALLY “under center” anymore? ) but ZT knows they run on 50% of their play so RB Trey Benson will need to match/exceed his 6.2 YPC today. Seminoles defense is better than their forefathers vs. the pilgrims ( Ok, the Seminole tribe was smart to be gambling on tomahawk throws and if their buddy could knock an orange off the head of an ugly squaw with a blow gun vs. fighting like Apaches and this led to their vast Seminole Casino empire……at least that’s what mama said when ZT was being home schooled ). For Gators, Freshman QB Max “I don’t like sacks” Brown will take over but expect they will run like wild Indians ( really ZT? ) with RB’s Johnson and Etienne but enough targets to WR Ricky Pearsall to keep the Seminoles’ defense honest Injuns…( ZT, ENOUGH of the post-Thanksgiving Native American references…). Key to UF has been running so……. ZT may have had to much sugar intake over the past 48 hours but going with the GATORS to eat some Seminoles for dessert in the SWAMP! UPSET SPECIAL GATORS 24 Red or Black? 23

North Carolina Tarheels vs N C State Wolfpack 7pm – Carolina – State Game

A pair of 8-3 squads but definitely different level of attention. UNC under HC Mack Brown were the ACC darlings with QB Drake Maye and expected to lead the charge & challenge for the ACC Championship. Even some preseason Heisman hype. All that is now gone. Wolfpack was 4-3 but has rattled off 4 straight wins with HC Diamond Dave Doeren getting some press when they were called a basketball school on GameDay and, after the W, he advised what area of the body Steve Smith could attach his lips to! Sr. QB Brennan “stretch” Armstrong is tougher than a farmer trying to putting socks on rooster. This one will be a classic, close rivalry….ZT going with the Wolfpack.. Wolfpack 28 Just a Goat 24

ZT out to go buy one of those machines that shakes the weight off you vs. exercising….these look like sharp people so ZT is ALL IN!!!

Padre and ZT back next week for Conference Championship prognostications.