CFB 2024 – Week 4

Week 3 was fun….just not for all. FSU remains winless this season ( along with Temple, Jax State, Kent State, Miami OH (they are distracted saving cats ), U Mass, UTEP, Wyoming, New Mexico, Portland State, and ok…throw in the Chicago White Sox for teams that are currently considered losers even though they have actually won 23.5% of their games…which is better than FSU).

Ok, on the positive side, like the early parity seeing some teams EARN their way back to the Top 25…Nebraska, Illinois, and the NORTHERN Illinois Huskies!! SEC update: 6 of Top 7 and 9 of Top 25. Heard near NCAA headquarters’ ” we are so proud of NIL, the Transfer Portal, Conference realignment….it is working and we are proud of it!”…..unless you are UT fan who just learned ticket prices are going up 10% so they can assist in funding the NIL…. Heck of a game on Friday night with the Illini (now 4-0! ) winning in OT over the Cornhuskers in Lincoln!

Prognostication Accountability Update: Padre 18-10 ZT 14-11

So Padre goes first in the event you run out of time to finish reading, you will get the best available when he is available now that he is in high prognostication demand…..

Sat AM update……Padre is finishing some last minute “sign from above” revelations he received while in Boone NC at the Appy State – South Alabama game ( no, it was not that Appy State would “run the table” ). Expect a late Saturday AM update!!

855am Update…Padre is IN and ready to bestow pigskin wisdom throughout the land!!!

Vandy @ Mizzou: Vandy was on a roll until they ran up against the brick wall of mighty Georgia State. Now after running into that brick wall, they will be reminded by Mizzou of where they belong…..buried underneath that brick wall with bottom dwellers like Florida and Florida State. Mizzou rolls 40-13.

Arkansas @ Auburn: My Arkansas buddy is heading to Auburn to watch his Hogs — and he matches me on the cynicism of his own team. He believes his Hogs will somehow blow it, but I got a feeling they go into Auburn and pull off the upset…..which means I just cursed them with my Gator funk. Arkansas with the mild upset 26-24. Or probably not now that I picked them.

UCLA @ LSU: Cajuns like football more than Californians. Cajuns like beer more than Californians. Cajuns like screaming more than Cali….wait, they may be even on that one. Well, Cajuns do pack college football stadiums more than Californians! LSU wins 38-20.

NC State @ Clemson: Dabo may hate the portal, and anything that is digital or came after 1975 (GET OFF MY 100 MILLION DOLLAR LAWN!), but his team is superior to the Pack. Clemson wins 34-16. Bah humbug!

USC @ Michigan: The booger pickin’ khakis are now in LA….but not with the Trojans. Lincoln has a better team. Trojans go into The Big House and get the W. USC by the score or 27-24.

Utah @ Okie St: Mormons @ Mullets. No caffeine @ 40 year old rants. The choice is obvious, right? I agree. Mormons (not all of them are Mormons, I know) in the mild upset 30-27.

Kansas St @ BYU: Okay, okay. This is the real Mormon school. Touché. Although I am NOT a Mormon (I think that is obvious by now), I have always respected BYU. I am not sure why, but I do. I even find myself pulling for them at times. I also know the caffeine thing is a bit more nuanced. It’s just a joke. But Kansas St is ranked. BYU is not. So the choice is, once again, obvious. I agree. BYU wins in the mild upset by a score of 26–23.

Tennessee @ Oklahoma: The big game. The once favored son then turned fired OC returns home. As a Gator, I remember Steve Spurrier absolutely punishing coaches who either fired him or did not give him a chance (Bill Curry comes to mind). He had no mercy in his reminding them of their mistake. Could that happen in Norman today? I am torn. I would LOVE for Oklahoma’s welcoming to the SEC to be a shellacking at home. But as a Gator, I would also LOVE for Tennessee to be embarrassed on the road. Despite my torn emotions, I will stick with my logical side — and that side says Josh returns home and reminds the Sooners of what might have been. Tennessee rolls 41-20. Oh, and if you’re wondering which I would prefer — OU embarrassment or rival Tennessee embarrassment — well, if you have to wonder on that one, then you don’t know me. I want my rival to get demolished every single time. But just because I want it does not mean it will happen. In fact, with how things have been going for me in the sports world, if I want it I can be assured it will NOT happen! 🤣🤣🤣 Once again, the ugly pumpkin vomit orange by a score of 41-20.

….oh, and I did not forget my Gators. They will lose to Miss St by a score 24-20. That’s not just cynicism — that’s based on what I have seen in observation of my team. My only hope? That Cal will beat FSU to ease some of my pain…….Oh who am I kidding. I no longer feel pain. 🎶 I am a rock. I am an island. 🎶

Now on to ZT who had a unique week as he attempted to fix his “Tua Injury Blues” with a 12-pack of Krystals followed the next day with a locally prepared chili/cheese/slaw dog meal. Since that time, he has consumed Tums at same rate a kid consumes candy at Halloween. This has provided additional hours at night to study the week 4 games….

NC State Wolfpack @ Clemson Tigers 11am

ZT thought the Wolfpack could take care of the UT Hillbillies in Raleigh….The city is still picking up the moonshine mason jars and accounting for the the missing port-a-potties that will be used as deer hunting blinds this winter. Tough injury to QB Grayson McCall so true Freshman CJ “George” Bailey gets the start at Clemson this week. He can run so a little different look. Wounded Tigers are dangerous as well as an unhappy Dabo. Nice rebound vs. Appy State noting QB Klubnik had 5 TDs in that one. Tigers like the “under the radar” role for now and being this is first ACC game, the season goals are still on the table. Dabo has a flaming bag of poo left on the porch of the Transfer Portal Director and wins this one for team spirit!! Tigers 35 Cubs of Raleigh. 20

#11 USC Trojans @ #18 Michigan Wolverines 230pm

A big, could say HUUGE, Big 10 opener for these 2 teams. Will note the Wolverines need a W here if they are to stay in the CFP. A 2nd loss at the Big House is hard to imagine. Issue at hand is the Michigan Offense has sputtering more than a 1971 AMC Gremlin. Trojans are feeling better than a pole vaulter with a pouch of blue chew. One note is USC doesn’t have 2 games in a row at home the rest of the season…welcome again to the Big 10. Wolverines got a win over Ark State even with 3 INTs by QB Warren who is BEING replaced by Junior Alex “Never been to an” Orji. Michigan hoping his dual threat ability is a difference maker. Not this week. Trojans 28 Wolverinnies. 24

Arkansas Razorbacks @ Auburn Tigers 230pm

Pig Sooie heads to Auburn…..got to be careful as they have a world class Vet school down there and may be ready to do some “research experiments” on the Hogs. That experiment would be a new Tigers QB with Redshirt Freshman “Hammerin” Hank Brown cementing his first SEC start after a solid game vs New Mexico ( who is not good but ). Razorbacks had a good outing vs UAB and featured the run game ranked 9th nationally. Took Okie St. OT to beat the Hogs in Stillwater. Tigers loss to Cal was more on the offense so the move from Peyton “I am no longer a” Thorne to Hank “ the Shank” Brown should be a spark. It is Homecoming on the Plains and Auburn is planning a BBQ. Tigers. 31 All the Ribs you can eat. 27

UCLA Bruins @ #16 LSU Tigers 240pm

Bruins should be called the Bruisedens…( not a word ZT, even in Alabama ). They have so far been “offensive” on Offense after sneaking by Hawaii and being thumped by Indiana in their Big 10 opener. QB Ethan Garbers, with his 39.0 QBR rating, looks like he should be working at a Sears credit card call center. Defense is veteran but is that enough? Tigahs told the Gamecocks to get plucked with a late TD on the road and have fixed some of the issues from that opening day loss to USC. QB Nussmeier has solid stats with 10 TDs and only 2 INTs. HC Lyin Brian Kelly said “ we have to win this one as my hand still hurts from hitting the desk after the USC loss”. If you missed it, Coke has a deal with most SEC teams/coaches….Brian Kelly came out to his presser with a bottle of “Smartwater”.. love it and expect he will drink plenty this week. He needs it. Tigahs 44 Bruisedens (if you lose, ZT can call you anything he wants) 17

Vanderbilt Commodores @ #7 Missouri Tigers 315pm

One of ZT’s favorite players for 2024 is Vandy QB Diego Pavia. The 6’0” 200lb. NM State transfer is also the leading rusher ( that is a good & bad thing, right? ). They would be 3-0 but let one get away with 15 seconds left vs. Georgia State ( ok ZT, that means they are 2-1! ). Vandy Defense is the bigger issue and playing the Tigers in Columbia is not the time to be average! Mizzou shut out their 1st 2 opponents and handled the BC Eagles last week. Sr. QB Brady “not from Haiti“ Cook is a solid leader and RB Nate “the skate” Noel has the potential to break one at any time. Week off for Mizzou after this one so no distractions or reason they don’t devour the Commodores. Tigers 41 Lost in the Lake of the Ozarks 20

#12 Utah Utes @ #14 Oklahoma State Cowboys 3pm

Well, with the USC/Michigan on CBS with Gary Danielson ( I am trying hard to be nice! ), one can watch an even better Big 12 match up on FOX. The Utes should have QB Cam “Bad Moon” Rising back ( stitches on throwing hand ) and will be interesting to see how he does…Okie State has QB Alan “go Roman” Bowman & RB Ollie “I’m not Mormon” Gordon with an O-line that is very veteran, but has YET to play like expected. The New B12 vs Old B12 is intriguing….ZT loves both these teams and Coaches ( why don’t you throw in a “bless their heart” before you make the pick ZT?? ) but only 1 can win…cause this ain’t soccer! Slight upset. Utes. 27 Stillwater Train Station 24

#6 Tennessee Volunteers @ #15 Oklahoma Sooners 630pm

Game of the week…GameDay in Norman (sorry citizens of Oklahoma that you have to deal with Drunk, Gummy-eating, Fat Pat McAfee for 24-48 hours). ZT has picked on the Vols more than he used to target Gary Danielson, which is a lot. I now ask Phil Fulmer & the producers of Deliverance for total forgiveness and will promise to not make fun of HC Josh Heupel for at least 1 week (it’s a start….. as we know instant, total transformation is possible but not in college football) based on their phenomenal start to 2024!!! (no, this is also not an attempt at “reverse karma”). Remember Heupel led the Sooners to 2000 BCS game W and was Heisman runner up as QB (would be a right tackle today). Key factor for ZT is even if OU can put up 30 points can they hold UT and Freshman QB phenom Nico Lamaleava (698 yds, 6 TD, 2 INTs) to less? It is in Norman…but…. THE Tennessee Volunteers 38 Doomer Sooner 27

#13 Kansas State Wildcats @ BYU Cougars 930pm

KSU at 3-0 is looking solid and turned the Arizona Wildcats in to pussycats last week with a 31-7. HC Chris Klieman has proven to have his teams ready for big games. BYU is 3-0 but not over the same level of competition. Can’t help that but the cougars are in for a big cat fight in Provo. Will note BYU is a tougher road team than Tulane ( who was KSU’s only road win ). BYU was picked to be 13th in the preseason poll. Its now the real season and they are 3-0 under HC Kalani “I’m not a mushroom” Sitake (ZT…the mushroom is SHITAKE….geez). Provo is tough but the KSU rushing attack is tougher (6.98 yds per carry) and ZT sees that as the difference. Wildcats 35 Cougarettes 24

ZT out…on the road next week through the Midwest but will be looking for an angle….as well as a Krystal!