Good news? Queen’s Another One Bites the Dust only played in the NFL and NBA this week. NYG HC Brian Daboll gets the hook but ZT notes he was OC at Bama for the 2017 Natty with that famous comeback win in OT over Georgia with Hurts/Tua QB combo. Mavericks GM Nico “Gotta Go” Harrison heard it too but was inevitable after the Luka Doncic trade. Word is he may go Slovenia and see if Luka has any other hoops playing relatives so he can get back in the NBA.
Back to the college pigskin….. Only BYU ( post Texas Tech loss ) really hit the CFP skids last week. That will change this week, particularly in the SEC with OU vs Bama and Texas vs Georgia. Notre Dame will be fine as long as they have 4 losses or less…. as the title notes, some Chaff will be sifted this week!!
Pigskin Prognostication Accountability Update: Padre 57-29 ZT 58 – 32
As one can see ( no need to run through Co Pilot or Gemini AI ) Padre is in the lead by % and fewest losses. Padre may sprinkle in a few bonus prognostications to even up the number of selections but when your first your first, so his choice!
Padre remains in the leadoff position this week (getting old after noting this for 12 weeks in a row ZT!!)
Florida @ Ole Miss: Rumors are swirling that Lane Kiffin is headed to Florida. Other rumors say he’s just running the world’s greatest troll job and will sign an extension with Ole Miss before, during, or after the game. You know what isn’t a rumor? Florida is not good at football. It hurts my feelings, but facts don’t care about my feelings. It honestly feels like my Gators have already emotionally checked out of the season. Those of us who bleed orange and blue are praying that The Lane Train eventually pulls into Gainesville. But because I’m conditioned for heartbreak, I’m fully expecting Lane to sign that extension on the field, on live TV, right after his team boat-races us. Ole Miss 41, Florida 13.
Michigan @ Northwestern: Somehow, Michigan is still in the Big Ten race and the CFP race. Earlier this season, I thought they were, at best, a 7–5 team. What in the Connor Stallions–fake mustache-Central Michigan–Jim McElwain got dragged into this insanity is going on up in here? I think Michigan is overrated. I think Northwestern is… Northwestern. Michigan 26, Northwestern 20.
Notre Dame @ Pitt: According to College GameDay, this is the game of the week. According to logic, Notre Dame just gets preferential treatment—par for the course. Pitt’s coach even implied the game doesn’t really matter because it’s not an ACC matchup. Who needs the classic “Remember, we’re dealing with 19-year-olds” excuse for losing when you’ve got a coach openly looking past Notre Dame to Georgia Tech? Some folks will take Pitt as their upset special, but I’ll ride with the media darling and eternal “Natty-hopeful-since-1988.” Notre Dame 31, Pitt 20.
NC State @ Miami: It feels like Miami is getting treated harder than anybody in the rankings. Yeah, the losses aren’t exactly résumé builders, but the wins? Pretty legit — including one against that gold-helmet squad from the previous pick. With all the perceived disrespect, Miami is madder than Tony Montana when….well, when literally anything happens to Tony Montana. NC State rolls into South Beach, and a ticked-off, hyper-talented Miami greets them with a hearty, “Say hello to our five-star no so little friends.” Miami 34, NC State 13.
Iowa @ USC: In this classic, historic BigTen showdown, we get to witness the thrill of paint drying vs. the thrill of paint splattering. I’m not entirely sure what that means, but in my head, it translates to: Iowa is boring, USC is chaotic, and together they form…..abstract art? This conference matchup makes about as much sense to me as a Jackson Pollock. Anyway, Iowa’s coming off a brutal loss, and now they’re headed to Los Angeles to be greeted by smog and some USC fire power. A flat/deflated Iowa team walks into the Coliseum and walks out wondering what just happened, while Southern Cal keeps their CFP dreams flickering. USC 30, Iowa 16.
Oklahoma @ Bama: Bud Wilkinson. Bear Bryant. Barry Switzer. Gene Stallings. Bob Stoops. Nick Saban. So much history. So many championships. So much of the color red. The University of Oklahoma (whose helmets insist on “OU,” not “UO”) and the University of Alabama are practically synonymous with college football royalty. Last year, OU embarrassed Bama. This year? Bama returns the favor like the President firing off a lawsuit or the BBC “accidentally” trimming his speech. (I’m not sure that makes perfect sense, but hey—equal-opportunity political confusion keeps it politically neutral… somehow.) Bottom line: I think Bama is simply better, especially in Tuscaloosa. The Tide roll. Bama 27, Oklahoma 16.
Texas @ Georgia: I still don’t believe Texas belongs in the SEC. But I do believe I hate Georgia. My Gators blew it against the Pups….and then followed it up with a full baby–diaper–blowout performance against Kentucky. People have doubted Georgia all season — mostly because they were young. Key word: were. Sadly, painfully, heartbreakingly….it looks like they’re starting to click. Georgia may be the home of Chick-fil-A and “Eat Mor Chikin,” but on Saturday night, beef is what’s on the Dawgs’ menu. Georgia 34, Texas 17.
BONUS PICKS TO CATCH UP TO THE TWIN!
Arizona @ Cincy: Arizona 26, Cincy 24 (UPSET!)
Virginia @ Duke: Virginia 29, Duke 26 (MINOR UPSET!)
TCU @ BYU: TCU 26, BYU 20 (UPSET!)
Utah @ Baylor: Utah 34, Baylor 24
That’s it for this week. To close out, this time I asked ChatGPT to create a haiku to convince The Lane Train to stop in Gainesville and save us from 15 years of misery. It gave me five – yes, five – options. I hope you enjoy…
- Desperate Traditional Haiku
Lane, hear our sad cries—
Gators drowning in despair.
Please bring your playbook. - Extra Dramatic
Orange and blue weep loud.
Hope rides the Lane Train alone.
Come fix our chaos. - Crying in The Swamp
Swamp fog hides my tears.
Kiffin, bless our broken team.
Save us from more pain. - The Most Florida
Gators flop and flail.
Only the Lane Train can help.
Please park here. Forever. - The Beggar’s Haiku
Dear Lane, we beg you:
Gainesville needs football joy.
We’ll bake you cookies.
ZT back from another working road trip but took pause in the bustling ATL airport to take count of who was still wearing their team shirts/hats/jackets in mid-November. Still saw plenty of SEC and Big10. Will note still have not seen anyone wearing a UMass Minutemen, a Sam Houston Bearkats ( likely the mascot name ), or Charlotte 49ers ( likely a lawsuit from SF 49ers for them impersonating a football team ). Did see a lone Boston College hat but thinking he was a lacrosse fan from before 2002 ( hat looked rough ) with the program dropped to a club sport due to title ix compliance ( ZT, you planning on starting a lacrosse blog since you can’t beat the Padre?? ). Time to prognosticate for Week 12
9 Notre Dame Fighting Irish vs 22 Pittsburg Panthers 11am
Love Pitt HC Pat Narduzzi telling the press this is not a must win as it is NOT an ACC game. ZT is sure some of the press was confused noting ND plays a lot of ACC teams. Best part is when he said “I’d gladly get beat 103 or 110 to 10…… as long as we win the next 2 after that!” ZT reached out to Pitt medical staff to ask if they would check his meds and gummies for any abnormalities. ZT’s favorite HC Marcus Freeman knows this is really the Irish last test before the CFP. To counter Narduzzi, Marcus was rumored to say “ beating them by less than 100 will be considered failure!!” Won’t be 100 but ND gets the win over NW, their Freshman QB, and CFP Committee may give them 2 bye’s….ZT would just because he loves Marcus! ( 3 references left! ) Fighting Irish 135 ( ok, 35 ) ACC Panthers 21
18 Michigan Wolverines vs Northwestern Wildcat. 11am
Saw a meme….noted “Best way to keep a Wolverine out of your yard? Put up a GoalPost”. Ok…so they are in the 20’s against most ( tossing out the New Mexico and C Michigan games ) but THEY GET THE W!!! Win this one and Maryland sets up an Ohio State match up for CFP shot! NW may need former HC Pat “ drop and give me 20” Fitzgerald to give them a boost although HC David Braun ( not the electric shaver ) has done a nice job and they are 4-1 at home. This one will be played at Wrigley but NW needs to go after UM QB Bryce Underwood like Robin Ventura charging Nolan Ryan back in 93 ( ZT…keep on those 50% off brain supplements! ). Wolverines 24 Purple Cats 17
NC State Wolfpack vs 15 Miami Hurricanes 230pm
Wolfpack pulled off the home field upset of GT and then enjoyed a bye week so the question is can they continue their ACC momentum at Hard Rock Stadium vs. the Hurricanes? Canes QB Beck even caught a TD in the Syracuse game as he looked to rebound from the SMU loss. ZT may look at this a little different if in Raleigh ( kinda like a wet floor sign at a urology clinic ) but it ain’t. “I want a Crystal Ball” Cristobal will get the W and keep the Hurricanes in the CFP. Go enjoy some Joe’s Stone Crab after the 1st half. Hurricanes 38 Pack of howlers 17
21 Iowa Hawkeyes vs 17 USC Trojans 230pm
Midwesterners to the West Coast….usually trouble as hard to find a Culver’s or Sweet Corn ( not same as Street Corn ) in LA so they bring their own. Intriguing game and IF this was in Iowa City, ZT would likely go with the upset ( like last week vs. Oregon when you were wrong ZT?? ) but as noted, in LA. Trojans have a shot at CFP if they run the table and get a little help. ZT riding the men of corn in an improbable upset on the coast. Hawkeyes 24 West Coast Swordsman 21
11 Oklahoma Sooners vs 4 Bama 230pm
A dangerous game for a Bama team that is running worse than Forrest Gump before he broke out of those leg braces. Vegas line continues to shrink noting OU HC Brent Venables knows how to scheme the Bama offense and will count on QB John Mateer to be ready after a bye week to execute to the level he could before the injury vs. Auburn in late September. This is different than the Vandy revenge game. Bama Offense & Ty Simpson know this is effectively a playoff/play in game. Should be one of best games of the weekend. Bama 24 Sooners 23
Florida Gators vs 7 Ole Miss Rebels 600pm
ZT WANTS to believe the Gators can pull off the unthinkable in Oxford. ZT also wants to have the winning Powerball ticket. The 2nd is more likely than the first. Rebels 31 Reptiles 20
10 Texas Longhorns vs 5 Georgia Bulldogs 630pm
So….Kirby is pulling out all the stops and even had Sunbelt Billy Napier on site to help with how he helped the Gators pull of the upset in early October. Noting the loser of this one may have to plan on a trip to Orlando for the Pop Tarts Bowl, do what you gotta do Kirby! It’s in Athens but dawgs have lost one at home this year ( shameless Bama plug ZT ) and Arch is playing better ( progressing as one sportscaster noted ) of late. Like to call the upset but just can’t on this one Dawgs 27 Medium Horns 24
Dad Joke of the Week: How many Jet’s fans does it take to change a light bulb? None, they are used to living in the Patriots’ shadow.
Bonus Dad Joke #1: What do you call a pig that plays basketball? A ball hog.
Bonus Dad Joke #2: This morning, Siri said, “Don’t call me Shirley.” I accidentally left my phone in Airplane mode. ( ZT..you are still obsessed with that movie! )
Padre and ZT back for lucky week 13!!!
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 