November…..a time when some think of the pumpkins, sweet potatoes, apples, cranberries, and pears being harvested. ZT ain’t “some”. The real purpose of November is to thin the CFB herd from the current 7 undefeated (ok, did include James Madison and Liberty) and 7 1-loss teams in the Top 25 on our way to 4 to get into “CFP Heaven.”
ZT did make a last minute run to the LSU-Bama game and was in T-Town only 18 hours ( including the free one with the end of Daylight Savings ). Good news? Was able to stop at the Headley Food Mart #7 (not #1 -6 but #7…has to be good luck!) in Maplesville AL. ZT loves a good “dive” fuel/food stop. This one did not disappoint. 1st, love the entrance door where their “marketing department” determined it was critical to advertise Backwoods Smokes are sold here, even with the “court required” warning next to it…
Food options at 927am did not disappoint and ZT gravitated to the “tornados” rolling on the same machine likely to have hot dogs and sausages in just a few hours. Had to be good noting the grease smudges on the “tornado roller”..
Unfortunately, a group of locals had cleared out the selection only leaving the chicken…ZT has learned “if the locals won’t eat it, don’t go there!” In what felt like a divine intervention, the checkout clerk noted, “we got some hot pizza”…. ZT spun around to see the Hunt Brothers Hunk Pizza he had been unable to secure in Fountain FL a mere week earlier. The caption on the box says it all “Pizza Party for One” and when driving alone, that’s all ZT needs at 938 Am..
It took ZT 2.4 minutes, while driving and chasing it with a Yoohoo, to finish this deluxe hunk that include every meat & vegetable known to modern man. Note ZT is trying to avoid becoming an Ozempic addict and was counting carbs as noted by the remaining crust….
This worked until ZT made it Troy AL ( yes, home of the REAL Trojans who’s QB does NOT cry like a little baby )…. Had to get a snack to get to the house….. and scratch the Ozempic comment above and just order ZT up a supply…..
Good news? Done with the food and it’s time to prognosticate!
#8 BAMA @ Kentucky Wildcats 11am
It’s a TRAP!!!! Wildcats are a solid team. 3 losses but came in a nasty gauntlet run vs. Georgia, Tennessee, and Mizzou. HC Mark Stoops has the team bowl eligible again but like any good SEC coach, looking for more! Bama comes off an emotional W over the LSU Tigahs….good news is generally injury free. K Will wide” Reichard must have watched film of some of Saban’s early tenure kickers as he uncharacteristically missed 2 very makeable FGs ( ZT notes he got married in Jan 23 so likely forgot to take out the trash or feed the dog so he was distracted ). This one will be close but Tide gets the Road W. Bama 28 Kitty Cats 20
#3 Michigan Wolverines @ #11 Penn State Nittany Lions 11am
PSU HC James Franklin believes his Nittany Lion s can win even if he hands Harbaugh’s Hoodlums their playbook He is confident QB JJ “Walker” McCarthy (18TDs & 3 INTs) is Dyn-O-Mite! and the man for the job ( ZT…did you just quote 1970s sitcom Good Times? Only 9 of your readers were even born then!! ). Wolverines will not be distracted by all the externals and ZT believes they are motivated to take care of the job in Happy Valley. Michigan is solid…none of their wins are really “world class” but they have won them all. They will have to do it this week without HC Harbaugh who is now suspended for the rest of the season. PSU is the best team so far on their schedule and even though Franklin has a bad record vs. quality opponents, ZT believes it is their time. UPSET SPECIAL Nittany Lions 27 Class C Misdemeanors 24
#18 Utah Utes @ #5 Washington Huskies 230pm
Utes bounced back from a USC loss by pummeling the Sun Devils of AZ State so Washington needs to be on HIGH alert. Utes are on #3 QB Bryson “I take all me dates to” Barnes and is as tough of a pig farmer QB as ZT has seen……mainly because he is the only pig farmer QB ZT has seen but still a solid, accurate guy that knows how to hold on to the pigskin ( really ZT? ). RB Ja’Quindin Jackson has also been improving over the past 3 games. Huskies need QB Michael Penix, Jr. to have a Heisman worthy day. ZT believes he will, especially at home. Huskies 31 Those other Indians 21
#10 Ole Miss Rebels @ #1 Georgia Bulldogs 600pm
Bulldogs…..sure you beat Mizzou and Florida but get ready as the Rebels are better than both! Good news, you get them in Athens, but be careful!! If Bulldogs can control the time of possession, it is the formula for a W. Kiffin’s would love to be in the same position as 5 of 6 SEC foes who had a lead over the Dawgs during their 60 minute contests….one point to this, Dawgs are still undefeated and have not lost in Athens since 2019. Buzz that star TE Brock Bowers may return this week……Rebels CAN wins one….but ZT says they will not. Dawgs 35 Older Miss 28
#20 USC Trojans @ #6 Oregon Ducks 930pm
Trojan defense has looked more confused than a fart in a ceiling fan factory this year. SO, HC Lincoln “I told my wife I didn’t want to go to the play” Riley fired his DC Grinch ( and only 45 days before Christmas so that is fitting ). Not sure if USC could cover the Ducks’ WRs with 6 DBs and 2 hunting dogs before the firing or after. Add in a Trojan QB Caleb “I want my mommy” Williams possibly shifting to protect his NFL status vs. working extra hard to make the Jimmy Kimmel Bowl and makes a good recipe for a Ducks W. Ducks 45 University of Second Choice 35
ZT’s Convenience Store Quick Snack Selections
Miami Hurricanes @ #4 Florida State Seminoles 230pm
Seminoles continue to roll and, checking the NOAA website, Hurricane Season 2023 is OVER! Canes 2-3 over last 5 and took OT to get the 2 wins ( ZT like an OT win even if it was UVA and Clemson). Seminole tribe owns FL with their Hardrock Casinos and public support of FSU. Noles will roll… Seminoles 38 Low Pressure System 14
#17 Tennessee Vols @ #12 Missouri Tigers 230pm
Vols throttled “U “got” Conned ( out of $1.4 million if this was to actually be a football game ) 59-3 while Mizzou gave #1 Georgia ( forget that CFP ranking ) all they wanted. Tigers not looking back and get a home W vs. the banjo boys. Light Upset Special Tigers 28 Heupel’s Hillbillies 24
Auburn Tigers @ Arkansas Razorbacks 300pm
Battle of the “other A” teams in the SEC…… Tigers have a chance to become bowl eligible. Hogs have a chance to save HC Sam Pittman’s job. Bye Sam…we still love you and will buy you a cup of coffee at the Waffle House in a few weeks. UPSET SPECIAL Tigers 21 Extra Bacon with my Waffle 20
West Virginia Mountaineers @ #9 Oklahoma 6pm
ZT spoke with CEO of Crash Champions Collision ( 3rd largest collision firm in “Merica ) and they are not sure they can repair the Boomer Schooner after it was T-boned by a dude with a mullet driving a 1984 Bronco with some Cowboys in it. A group of Mountain Men are equally dangerous, particularly at night. ZT convinced there is enough duct tape in Norman to keep the Schooner operational this week. Sooners 38 Mountain Oysters 17
Florida Gators @ #14 LSU Tigers 630pm
Gators look as lost as that Easter Egg somewhere in your backyard from 2021….They need a W to get bowl eligible and Tigahs without starting QB may be best chance with Mizzou and FSU remaining on the schedule. Latest intel indicates QB Daniels likely clears protocol and plans to do some Gator hunting at night.. Tigahs 42 Future Wallets 31
ZT is out….. Padre noted his concern for Cajuns liking to cook Gators…also, was recently advised “We are now a basketball school!” Hoping the Padre surfaces with some prognostications…. we will see.
9:33am UPDATE!! PADRE IN THE HOUSE!!!!
I was going to work on my commentary for this week on Friday PM. Why? Because what else would a middle-aged pastor do on a Friday night?? But, I ended up taking my son to a basketball tourney in Charlotte. Despite Florida losing ( what’s new there?!? ), we had a GREAT TIME!! However, it impacted my commentary. Therefore, what is below is true “weak-sauce.” My apologies.
LSU 44 Florida 17
My Gators are staring down the real possibility of five straight losses to end the season – culminating in a 5-7 overall record. I have often told people that I am “a borderline idolatrous/diehard orange and blue bleeding Gator fan.” Well, this decade, I am bleeding ALOT! At this point, my house’s carpet looks like Boise State’s turf with an orange grove planted over it!
Minor Upset of the Week Penn State 27 Michigan 23
As an Ohio State friend pointed out, somehow, in the NIL era, Jim Harbaugh has found himself punished for cheating TWICE IN ONE SEASON. That takes a special kind of dedication! Michigan fans feel they will rally, but I think it does affect the team and Penn State finds a way.
Bama 37 Kentucky 17
Stoops has really done a remarkable job at Kentucky, but the Wildcats are not playing Florida. Saban and his Tide win and then roll onto Atlanta – where, somehow after back-to-back Nattys, Georgia fans convince themselves they are the woeful underdogs against the mighty Alabama.
FSU 31 Miami 13
It’s a team still living in glory days of 1980s vs. a team that is full of players born in the 1980s. The grown men with IRAs of Tally win big.
Tennessee 34 Mizzou 26
I predict Florida loses. I predict Georgia and FSU win big. And now I predict Florida’s third-level rival wins too. I turn to sports for an escape and it returns its love to me by putting me on the rack ( historical joke ).
Washington 30 Utah 20
Washington by 10 in this classic Big Ten vs. Big 12 matchup.
Arkansas 24 Auburn 23
Pittman got a big win last week. WAIT. No, No he didn’t. Let me rephrase that: Pittman got a win last week. He gets another win this week too.
Georgia 36 Ole 17
Lane can coach!! Kirby can coach and has far superior talent. And the game is in Athens. Dawgs win big!
UPSET OF THE WEEK
Texas Tech 36 Kansas 30
Kansas HC made a big statement this week that he wants to remain at Kansas for the rest of this career. Good for him. It’s refreshing to see such loyalty. Nick Saban’s long career with the Dolphins has been such a joy to watch too! In all seriousness, I think Kansas is surprised by the Red Raiders – and then basketball fully arrives in Lawrence.
PADRE OUT!!!!
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 