We are proud of how hard the SEC (and a few other conferences) have worked to have a season. Keep it up!!! Wild week as 10 Bowl Games have cancelled and Boston College became the 1st ( and likely not the last ) team to announce they would NOT accept a bowl bid this season. At the same time, LSU announced they would self-impose a bowl ban as well……of course a 3-5 record helped immensely in that decision. Then you have the ACC Commish cancelling the ” meaningless” games of Clemson and ND as they head to their championship game next week. ZT would say that reasoning could apply to most weeks in the ACC.
Bigger issue is all the games cancelled “DUE TO COVID”. ZT has done some investigative reporting and will give you the REAL story on each of these.
Big news of the week in TV was the announcement of a huge deal between ESPN/ABC and the SEC. What matters to most is that Gary Danielson will be headed to another part of the country to irritate others like a bad reaction from tree nuts ( ZT means like almonds and cashews and not people living in Oregon or going to Stanford ).
ZT thought he was eating a recently purchased cake from a youth sports team fundraiser ( found it in the outside fridge). After a few bites ( and confirmed by his wife ) it was one he purchased in 2019……..ZT out to get some Pepto but the Padre is here! He has just attended a ceremony at a church in Brazil where they hang wax body parts in an effort to ask for divine intervention to cure an ailment. The Padre had a plastic UF DC Todd Grantham doll hung……we will see if it works but first to the Padre’s Prognostications….
Florida 41 LSU 27
Florida has not covered the line in several weeks, so I don’t expect them to cover this week. Bama beat LSU by like 391 points—so next week against Bama…..yeah. Ummmm……I say both teams should be crowned SEC “Co-Champs.” Then the CFP Committee has to put Florida in, right?!? You can’t deny the SEC Champ!!!
Michigan – “Hahahahaha – We Cancel. Ohio State will miss the Big Ten (14) Title game and never make the CFP this season!! Hahahahahaha!!”
Ohio State – “Peasant, Please. We are Ohio State. We run the Big Ten (14)!!”
Big Ten changes the rules–CFP ranks Bucky #4 with 4 JV games under their belt.
Wake Forest – “We have a great offense. We may spoil your season, Golden Domers!”
Notre Dame – “Peasant, please. We have been in the ACC for one season and we run this place. Hey ACC, what are you going to do about this?”
ACC Press Release: “We cancel Clemson and Notre Dame’s games.” $$$$$$$$
Georgia 37 Mizzou 13
Everybody is saying Mizzou is hot and this could be a possible upset pick!!! — NO. The Tiger roar is just a soft purr. Dawgs bite much stronger.
Alabama 55 Arkansas 13
Hogs end season as best 3-7 team ever. Bama is the best team this season….and 40 out of the last 44 seasons. But Saban doesn’t want to talk about that, “aight!” That kind of talk is “rat poison” before Atlanta.
Miami 44 UNC 40
My prediction for the most entertaining game of the week. Miami pulls it out and heads to a NY6 Bowl in Diaz’s second season. Then, for their very good season, they get to travel to the beautiful beaches of……Miami…..for the Orange Bowl. I know the players will be super pumped for that staycation!!
Virginia Tech 30 Virginia 27
The Commonwealth’s beer and burger college beats the Commonwealth’s wine and cheese college. Go burgers and beer!!
Upset of the Week!! Troy 27 Coastal Carolina 26
A week after their greatest victory over the Fightin’ Mormons, Coastal is shocked by Troy because Troy can have caffeine before the game. That and Troy is offended by Coastal’s claim to mastering the Mullet haircut!!!
Padre out and ZT back from having a Pink Pepto Cocktail and a few hours in the best room in the house to think……..
#1 Bama vs. Arkansas Razorbacks
TRAP GAME ALERT!!! Hogs are usually best hunted at night. That said, this game moved to an 11am start. We know they wanted extra time before Florida. Note the Tide has played rival Auburn and then THE revenge game vs. LSU so RIPE for a let down against a dangerous herd of hogs!! Arkansas playing better ball for HC Sam Pittman overall but defense has been hampered by Covid and they are unsettled at QB. Not sure if Franks or Jefferson starts on Saturday……none of that is good…..Look for Mac, Najee, and DeVonta to have a big time in Fayetteville. BAMA 52 Bacon Boys 24
#7 Cincinnati Bearcats vs. #24 Tulsa Golden Hurricanes
ZT learned Tulsa HC Phillip Montgomery ( sounds like a guy that should coach Cricket in the UK ) stood at the Center of the Universe ( google it ) on Archer Street in Tulsa and yelled ” Can we Beat Cincy?” and a loud response came back “NO!!”…..so they called it off due to Covid.
LSU Tigahs vs. #6 Florida Gators
Tigahs get to limp into the swamp after a total beatdown in Baton Rouge last week. More players leaving, etc. Gators ready to wipe them out before heading to Atlanta next week and help QB Kyle Trask get closer to a Heisman in the process ( ZT notes he is the current Vegas favorite to win it ). Expect to see a new UF record for passing TDs ( currently 39 by Danny Wuerffel ) and a Gator win while Coach O goes home and cries himself to sleep with his Joe Burrow poster on the ceiling and some lotion on his nightstand. Gators 45 Tigahs 20
Michigan Wolverines vs. #4 Ohio State Buckeyes
Harbaugh told “if you lose to OSU, it’s OVER!….Realizing he could not win but not wanting to break Covid protocol, he had a pig with swine flu run through the locker room after practice… …… Coach Khaki then took a page from Richard Nixon when he tweeted ” You won’t have Jim Harbaugh to kick around anymore!” @soiledmykhakisagain…… so they called it off due to Covid.
#13 CC Chanticleers vs. Troy Trojans
How about the Chants!!!! They took care of BYU last week ( ZT learned the cougars were tired from the 2200 mile bike ride ) and now travel to face a Trojan squad who is no stranger to upsetting favored teams at ” The Vet” ( Troy stadium, not the one in Philly where they are scared to let people play right now ). We all know about QB Grayson, the Black Swarm defense, and the Chants but note Troy is now back near full strength after a tough Covid run. Trojans shut out rival S. Alabama last week with QB Gunnar Watson throwing for over 300 yards and 3 TDs. With the Sunbelt Championship vs. the Rajun Cajuns next week, upset in the making?? ZT calling it!!! Trojans 24 Chicken Nuggets 23
Ole Miss Rebels/Bears/Akbars vs. # 5 Texas A & M Aggies
Ole Miss HC Joey Freshwater Kiffin indicated on Pornhub that he hoped to kiss a few girls on Bottle Cap Alley in College Station ( google it ). Local Health Department confirmed this would be more dangerous than the current pandemic………..so they called it off due to Covid.
As referenced above, ESPN/ABC has signed a 10 year deal with the SEC and this means CBS will no longer be hosting the SEC game of the week starting in 2024….. Gary Danielson was spotted “interviewing” for a position in Bottle Cap Alley with a guy that said he knew a guy that knew a guy that had a contact there……to be continued….
#17 North Carolina Tar Heels vs. # 10 Miami Hurricanes
Hurricanes are high flyers on offense with QB D’Eriq King but interesting as the Miami defense has struggled with solid offenses…………they did find a way to beat Louisville and NC State after giving up lots of yards & points in those games ( yep, D’Eriq King overcame! ). Mack Brown and the Tar Heels will be the 2nd best offense they have played with QB Sam Howell fresh off a tune up last week. The U had one as well as they just destroyed Duke. ZT likes this one to be close….. The U 41 Tar Heels 38
#8 Georgia Bulldogs vs. Mizzou Tigers
Mizzou off a great Offensive ( ZT means “offensive” as in have possession of the football vs. in poor taste like in the series Ozark when Ruth would cuss someone ) battle scoring 50 points and getting the W!!! The issue is they allowed 48! This is a redu from November and the Bulldogs have been off for a few weeks and out of the CFP hunt. Where will the dogs’ heads be?? ZT thinks alot of points but Bulldogs get a few more. Bulldogs 48 Tigers 31
Purdue Boilermakers vs. #12 Indiana Hoosiers for The Old Oaken Bucket
Purdue HC Jeff Brohm went, alone, to Prophet’s Rock in W. Lafayette, IN and inquired of Shawnee profit Tenskwatawa ” Can we Beat Indiana?” Tenskwatawa voice said ” You will do as well as we did at Tippecanoe when I called that one for the Indians……..also, someone took a dump in the Old Oaken Bucket so you don’t want it anyway!”………. so they called it off due to Covid.
Illinois Fighting Illini vs. #14 Northwestern Wildcats
2020 and Northwestern is in the Big10 Championship!!! Wildcats are just better all the way around in this match up. Only thing the smart kids do NOT need to do is look ahead to the OSU game next week. It will come soon enough!! IF NW wins this game, it will be 6 in a row and that would be a series record for the Wildcats. Go get that record you Brainiacs in purple!!! It will make you happier working differential equations on Sunday while watching old episodes of Bill Nye, The Science Guy… A little tighter than expected Wildcats 28 Illinois 21
#11 Oklahoma Sooners vs. West Virginia Mountaineers
ZT learned 29 players for the Mountaineers went to Chester, WV to the World’s Largest Teapot with a 55 gallon trash bag of freshly picked Mushrooms on Wednesday……they haven’t been seen since……..so they called it off due to Covid
Army Black Knights vs. Navy Midshipmen
121st meeting but being played at West Point for the 1st time since WW2!! 1943 to be exact. All due to Philadelphia and PA not being comfortable with the game going on at Veteran Stadium as usual. REALLY Philly? But you are OK with Carson Wentz still playing QB for the Eagles? Go Figure!!! ( yes, ZT knows former Bama QB that stopped in OK for a year, Jalen Hurts, may be starting this week but its my blog so… ). Army is better and now put them at home? Rivalries can even out a lot of things but not in this one. Army 28 Navy 17
ZT out and on a mission to eat and drink the complete menu of a Sumo Wrestler’s diet this weekend....if successful, will celebrate at the “Hot Now” flashing sign at 9pm on Sunday…….
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 