The “real” start of CFB 2023 did NOT disappoint! Coach Prime, and his new herd of transferred Buffaloes, took out 2022 darling TCU. Some have criticized his use of the transfer portal but it was within the rules. Colorado only had 2 Blue Chips on the squad and the rest of them were more like “Buffalo Chips” anyway. 83 new faces in Boulder and it paid off. Under the radar in the same vein was Texas State. Bobcats showed up with 1st year HC G.J. Kinne who brought in 53 new dudes and took out the Baylor Bears. 1st Power 5 win in program history. ZT notes the Cajun faithful were reading up on the Saints early Monday after the Tigahs failed to capitalize on 1st half opportunities and were scalped by the Seminoles in Orlando on Sunday Night. Confident a key issue was Brian Kelly’s choice for a halftime motivational speaker:
Finish Week 1 with the Durham Dukies taking down Dabo, storming the field, and vowing to not mention basketball until next Sunday. Oh yeah, the PAC -12 is 13-0….no question we are much closer to the end times than we thought!!
ZT still hitting up the Food Trucks…this week was “GOAT Wingz” and they did not disappoint. ZT happy to show below one of the very few times he is even allowed to display an “after” picture as most of his life he has been a “before” model…….
Ok..on to Week 2 after 4 Top 25 teams scored 65+ on their “big payday” opponents with 9 scoring 50+. May see some of that this week but got a few nice match-ups to prognosticate.
#10 Notre Dame Fighting Irish at N.C. State Wolfpack 11am
Irish QB Sam “I have a big” Hartman has had a couple of tune ups with Navy and Tennessee State so the 500 yd per game and +92 point differential is to be expected. Wolfpack is glad to host this one in Raleigh after getting a W vs UCONN. QB Brennan “Stretch” Armstrong has the ability to do it on the ground and through the air but must play much better this week. One fact that matters… Hartman played in the ACC with Wake Forest and has faced the Wolfpack 3 times….just with a better team this time. Irish 31 Dancing Wolves 21
Nebraska Cornhuskers @ #22 Colorado Buffaloes 11am
Well….the Men of the Corn travel to the land of Gummies to play the most talked about team in College Football. Coach Prime definitely has changed the tone in Boulder. Offense was solid with over 500 yards vs. TCU and QB Shedeur Sanders lived up to the hype in Week 1. Huskers HC Matt ” This ain’t Burger King so I” Rhule can’t turn it over like last week and must have the defense play for 60 minutes or this could get ugly. ZT believes the big red thrashing machine plays tough but in the end, can’t end their 21 straight loss streak to ranked teams this week. Stoned Buffaloes 31 Popped Corn 28
#20 Ole Miss Rebels @ #24 Tulane Green Wave 230pm
THIS ONE WILL BE FUN!! Ole Miss throttled Mercer and love QB Jaxson “I throw it like a” Dart with 334 yards and 4 TDs. Rebels scored 73 on the night. HC Kiffin would run the score up on his mom if he could but makes sense in week 1. Green Wave is lead by QB Michael Pratt but also a defense that had 5 sacks vs. South Alabama. Rebels have some injuries to deal with and it is on Bourbon Street. Put on your Depends undergarments because you likely will miss a score if you head to the restroom. Expect more than 1 point per minute scored in this one. Upset Special Green Wave 38 Hotty Toddy anyway 35
#23 Texas A & M Aggies vs. The U.. Miami Hurricanes 230pm
Hmmm. Not sure if it is that ZT just doesn’t like anything about Jimbo Fischer to include his smile, voice, name, and even his DNA, but will try to be objective on this prognostication. This is a rematch of a pair of 5-7 teams in 2022. Miami QB Tyler “my uncle is Dick” Van Dyke looked good against the other Miami but ZT likes how The U defense matches up vs. Aggies with Bobby “I sold my motorcycle” Petrino as the A&M OC. Upset Special #2 Hurricanes 31 Saggy Aggies 24
#26 Iowa Hawkeyes vs #40 Iowa State Cyclones 230 pm
Who doesn’t want the Hawkeyes to score? Love the contract OC Brian Ferentz has working for his DAD HC Kirk Ferentz. Must win 7 games and average 25 points per game or his contract is done on June 30, 2024. While this stat would get you fired in the SEC, its still fun to track each week. Will be tougher this week as the Cyclones were victors in 2022 by a score of 7-3. The winner takes the Cy-Hawk and this series is usually a low scoring affair. ZT expects it to be slow, like watching corn grow. Hawkeyes 17 Auntie M it’s a Twister 13
#11 Texas Longhorns vs #3 BAMA 600pm
Longhorns would love to jump in the Hot Tub time machine to 2022 and have QB Quinn Ewers healthy for the entire game. Sorry Texas..that’s a fictional movie so get over it. Well, Bama would surely like to have Bryce Young still in the huddle as well. Sorry Bama, get over it and be happy you have Jalen Milroe at the helm. Concern for Bama is 2 DBs ( Moore & Key ) banged up and currently day to day. NEVER good when playing against a Sark Offense. Bright spot for Bama? Only 2 penalties vs. MTSU after too many most games in 2022. This one is close until mid 4th quarter. Elephants 31 Bevo Burgers 23
Padre had an extra day for reptilian recovery from the great Salt Lake and ready to prognosticate.
Horrible start to the season. I was under .500 on my real picks. I am about as efficient on my picks as Florida’s Offense on 3rd Down. The only difference is that I post these picks for free and NOT millions of dollars….yet!
Florida – 7 False Starts and a fancy screen pass special 2 Minute Drill Drive before the Half…..that takes 6 minutes to go 25 yards. McNeese St – $500,000 to visit The Swamp. Now that Labor Day has passed, our Holiday Party Analyst is getting The Swamp ready for the annual Spookstastic Gator Ghoulish Party! Who needs wins when you have orange and blue skeletons?!?!…….
Minor Upset of the Week
Nebraska 31 Colorado 30
Prime was indeed ready for Prime Time! He is everything this is not supposed to work and yet it works. Maybe the greatest “exception to the rule” of all time. BUT… I am feeling “corny” this week. Nebraska FINALLY wins a close game – after losing 247 of them in a row!
Iowa State 13 Iowa 10
These two teams could be ranked #1 & #2 in the nation, and I still think Florida vs. McNeese State would be more entertaining. Two great coaches!! But two terribly boring philosophies. But as they say, “there is more than one way to skin a cat.” Some do it with a sharp Crocodile Dundee type knife. Others, like the Cyclones and Hawkeyes, do it with a toddler plastic knife made by Mattel. It eventually gets the job done, but man is it ugly!!
Notre Dame 23 NC State 20
Sam Hartman comes back to the state of North Carolina. The Pack can win this thing, but I say the Irish squeak it out in Raleigh. Can Notre Dame go 11-1 or 12-0?!?!? So we can, once again, get that 47-12 type beatdown by Bama, Georgia, Ohio State, etc. It wouldn’t be a true New Year without it!
Another Minor Upset of the Week
Miami 30 Texas A & M 26
I once asked my Dad if Florida ( even with 3 Nattys ) was the most underachieving program of all time. His response? “Nope, that would be Texas A & M.” He is right. A & M has the money. A & M has the stadium. A & M has very loyal fans. Miami has no money. Miami doesn’t have its own stadium. And Miami doesn’t have that many fans. And yet, Miami has 5 Nattys! A & M has a Johnny Manziel documentary on Netflix. Miami by 4!!
Ole Miss 44 Tulane 27
Joey Freshwater in New Orleans. This is all I have to say. Use your imagination. Or don’t. Yeah, actually don’t!! Ole Miss wins.
Bama 37 Texas 17
A lot of hype around Texas, and I am personally baffled as to why that is the case. I say Bama wins big!! BUT…. I don have a Gator complaint! Georgia’s super easy schedule was made super special sauce easy this season when the SEC made them drop Texas. Meanwhile, Bama kept Texas. Hmmmmm. Has a different shade of red taken over in Hoover?!?! Tinfoil hat ready for wearing!
Big Upset of the Week
Cal 27 Auburn 26
Picture this: Auburn fans ( people who elected Tommy Tuberville to the Senate ) will be hanging out in Berkley, California. While one fanbase is tailgating with hot wings and Busch Light (substituting for Bud Light with game being in CA to not confuse Cal fans) , the other side is doing a little pre-game protesting for a 97% tax rate. The aroma of incense and “nature” ( we’ll call it that ) are too much of a distraction for the men of the plains. Cal with the upset.
ZT will continue his search for a food truck serving sandwiches only made with donuts this weekend while the Padre will be happy his Gators are back in the swamp with a LOCK win to get the season going in the right direction.
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 