Tag: ncaa-football

The OFFICIAL opening week of College Football was solid!!! ND, Miami, USC, KU and even the corn eaters from Iowa exceeded expectations while LSU, Clemson, Florida, and Texas A & M will have to “gut check” this week. FSU is beyond gut check and they are visiting a digestive health specialist. Still some denial there as some fans, more optimistic than a drunk scratching a $2 lotto ticket for $10,000, who are noting “if we run the table and are 10-2, we can still make the playoffs!” Unless you have have Dorothy’s Ruby Slippers, not going anywhere.

Prognostication Accountability for 2024

Since we are not getting much of this in an election year, ZT and the Padre will set the example! Through Week 2 Padre 5-6 & ZT 4 -5. ZT notes after Week 0, he went heavy on the underdogs, but just the wrong ones so the theory was right, the execution not ( ZT, with that last statement, are you running for Dog Catcher? – is that title even politically correct? )

ZT is refocused ( for the 2nd consecutive week ) and ready to prognosticate!!

#4 Texas Longhorns vs #9 Michigan Wolverines 11am

Biggest of the year so far ( nice ZT…it’s week 2!! ) with a pair of CFB playoff 2023 teams going at it……Longhorns smoked the CSU Rams in the opener but this week will look nothing like that one. Wolverines handled their business vs. a Fresno State team that was 9-4 in 2023 with a bowl win. Good start after the reset post Jim Harbaugh. 1st regular season game between these 2 as well. TX QB “mighty” Quinn Ewers has the experience while Michigan did some rotation….hmm… will note Wolverines will be tough on defense but not sure it is enough, even in The Big House. Longhorns 27 Wolverines 21

Arkansas Razorbacks Vs #17 Oklahoma State Cowboys 11am

Razorbacks BBQ’d Ark-Pine Bluff while Okie State took care of S.D. State ( 2023 FCS Champs ) and remember those folks in S.D. are tough, just ask the Governor’s dog ..never mind. These teams are about 2.5 hours apart but haven’t played since 1980. One difference this year, former Ark HC Bobby Petrino has returned to Fayetteville on his Harley ( alone this time ) to run the offense only 12 years after he road his Harley ( not alone! ) and had the Hogs offense stampeding through the SEC. Boise State Transfer QB Taylen “Soylent” Green was a spark in the opener & will be tested this week. Cowboys is running more of a power spread that is just that…running the ball more from a spread & pistol formation. 7th year QB Alan “Metamucil” Bowman leads the Cowboys with RB Ollie Gordon, who only rushed for over 2,000 yds. and 22 TD’s in 2023. This one is a toss up in a huge SEC vs. Big 12 battle for superiority. Home field is worth 3-3.5 points in college and Stillwater is that kind of place (vs. say playing in Topeka KS ). Cowboys 30 Baconators 28

Iowa State Cyclones @ #19 Iowa Hawkeyes 230pm

Good to see another rivalry in Week 2! Hawkeyes scored 40, YES 40 ( 2 times the per game average in 2023 BUT 34 points in the 2nd half!! ) while Iowa State had a tough time with North Dakota ( ZT noted the those folks from the Dakotas are tougher than those folks on Yellowstone ). Hawkeyes QB Cade Mc Namara ( yes, former Michigan QB ) could be the difference maker but still see this one as a defensive battle. Believe the Hawkeyes weather the storm. Hawkeyes 20 Auntie M It’s a twister 17

California Golden Bears @ Auburn Tigers 230pm

The Golden Bears would normally sweat their “hides” off at 230 in the Loveliest Village on the Plains in early September but high will only be 81 at game time. Cal did get good news that RB Jayden Ott ( 1,305 yds & 12 TDs in 2023 ) and his “tweaked”ankle ( vs. UC -Davis ) are both good to go this week. Note that Cal struggled while Tigers hung 73 points on Alabama A & M and had the 3rd and 4th quarters reduced to 10 minutes. You got to be doing something right to score that much in only 50 minutes! Tigers won in 2023 at Cal and will do it again this year but with more scoring War Eagles 31 Bear Spray 24

Colorado Buffalos @ Nebraska Cornhuskers 630 pm

Coach Prime ( who looks like Grady from Sanford & Son with that white beard! ) attempted to tell ZT he was not allowed to comment on their game with NDSU, which they could have easily lost……. ZT noted “you looked more like buffalo chips than Buffalos last week!” ZT was then banned from future pressers. Cornhuskers thrashed UTEP in 2nd Year HC Matt “You” Rhule ( his Burger King NIL requires ZT write that ) and needs his Freshman QB Dylan Raiola to prove why he is a 5-star recruit this week. A good test of Transfer Portal ( CO ) vs High School recruiting ( NE ). They can say what they want, but these teams don’t like each other and in football, hate can be a good thing ( forgive me Padre! ) Big Red Thrashing Machine 35 Bison Burgers 27

#15 Tennessee Volunteers @ #24 N.C State Wolfpack 630pm

A big SEC vs ACC match up……get ready high tech Research Triangle, here come the Knoxville Hillbillies to Raleigh. Tell Dick’s sporting goods they can sell anything orange, even if it has NC State printed on it!! Wolfpack struggled with Western Carolina so was it 1st game issues or looking ahead to UT? NCSt QB Grayson McCall ( Coastal Carolina transfer ) must be more accurate or this one will get out of hand quickly. Vols new QB Nico Lamaleava ( promise you the Knoxville hillbillies can’t spell it and likely tell others “Bubba, the last name is ‘the Lama will Leave Ya'”. He was 22-28 with 314 yds and 3 TDs. ZT likes NC State HC Dave Doeren and think this is the week for the Wolfpack to make an early season statement. Upset Special Wolfpack 31 Children from Deliverance 28

Mississippi State Bulldogs @ Arizona State Sun Devils 930pm

Bulldogs travel to Tempe for a late night match up……1st meeting ever between these 2 and both coming off high-scoring wins in week 1. Sun Devils defense burned up the Wyoming offense, which is generally good. Offense won time of possession as well. ASU HC Kenny Dillingham pulling for temp to be over 100 degrees at kickoff. Bulldogs new HC Jeff Lebby appears to have brought some Ole Miss/OU offense with him and QB Blake Shapen, transfer from Baylor, is proven and will not be intimidated by a road game!! ZT wants to go with the Bulldogs BUT…..a game that will be ending after midnight with a quality opponent just doesn’t seem…..NEVERMIND….Bulldogs 31 Moon Devils 24

Ok…a quick one since ZT headed to the Bama game….. Bama vs South Florida Bulls 6pm

USF game in 2023 almost derailed the Crimson Tide and, more importantly, QB Jason Milroe’s QB career. In the words of Don Corleone ” Revenge is a dish that tastes best when served cold”….expect the USF Bull Scoreboard to be COLD…Bama 48 Cold Bulls 17

Padre ( and in the prognostication lead! ) is in the house!!

Texas vs Michigan

In all seriousness, WHY IS THIS GAME BEING PLAYED AT NOON?!? It’s early September. It’s not even cold yet. Anyway, Texas is evidently “southeastern” now so I have to brag on their power and speed….and overall superiority to all other teams in other conferences ( SEC requirement and all ). Which Florida, a founding member of the SEC, has ZERO OF POWER AND/OR SPEED! Maybe we should be in the Big 12, because we sure don’t belong in the ACC either. Or maybe the Sun Belt would welcome us, where mighty App State would probably push us around. Wait, this is a Texas vs Michigan thread. Not Florida. Sorry. The new “southern” school beats the Booger Pickerless Wolverines. Texas wins 31-17.

Arkansas vs. Okie State

Bobby Petrino is back in Hog Town. Arkansas scored a TD on every possession in his return. I don’t care if it was Pine Bluff, that’s impressive! They put Pine Bluff’s defense in a neck brace – get it? But what is more impressive? – Getting a job at the place that once fired you for literally breaking school codes and actual laws…and then lying about it!! You wanna know how bad teams want to win in the SEC? That is how bad they want to win!! I am all about forgiveness, but that may be the craziest professional fire/hire scenario I have heard in my life. That’s like Lance Armstrong being hired to run the World Anti-Doping Agency. Back to the game: The “Okie State Mullet Men” are favored by a TD , but I have a sneaky suspicion Petrino’s offense finds a way late in the game. I say Pittman’s Pigs get the upset by a score of 34-33

Iowa State vs. Iowa

Corn and 1955 Offense = I no longer need Ambien to sleep Iowa wins 17-16

Cal vs Auburn

Berkeley, California vs Auburn, Alabama. $27 Lattes vs. Toomer’s Lemonade. Vegans vs. Carnivores. Sunset Skies vs. Late summer gnats in your ear and near your nose ( if you know, you know!). Gun control vs. Give a gun to a toddler….and you think I’m joking, I ain’t joking!! California Hills vs The Plains. The Play vs. The Kick Six. You get the point. I am a SEC biased homer, but I think they may play flag football at Cal, so Auburn wins rather ‘bigly’, as that Orange Man likes to say……. Auburn 41-16

Colorado vs Nebraska

Someone in the media said my Gators were in danger of becoming the next Nebraska ( once elite and not an afterthought ). That really angered me, so I all in on Colora……oh, wait, Prime is there. The only thing more overrated than Prime drinks? Prime the coach! Actually, I don’t think that is true, but it went together. So I put it down. In reality, I think its a decent game. Love him or hate him, Prime is must see TV! I’ll mumble about him before the game, and then when it’s time for kick off, I will watch. But while he is fun to watch, I still say Nebraska wins 30-26 in Lincoln.

Tennessee vs. NC State

As much as it absolutely sickens me to type it, I think Tennessee is the real deal this season. In fact, I think they have an outside shot of playing Georgia in Atlanta. Watching another Florida rival rise from the ashes while our house burns like Mount St. Helens is a tough pill to swallow. Unless that pill is whatever they gave me when I thought I was dying in the Emergency Room from a bad kidney stone. Whatever that was may actually help me with this season! — I kid. As Mr. Mackey says on South Park, “Drugs are bad, mmmkay.” But I need something to help me! To paraphrase Huey Lewis’s song on drugs, 🎶 “I want a new team, one that won’t make me sick. One that won’t make me throw my controller, or make me feel like I need a medic.” 🎶. Tennessee wins 44-24.

Miss State vs. Arizona State

Oh how wonderful this would have been to watch (at least the pressers) if this game was between Herm Edwards and Mike Leach. “You play to win the game, Mike. You play to win the game!” (Herm). “Well, you can actually play the game for a variety of reasons. Some teams play for the fun of it. Some play because they have nothing else to do. Some play because their parents made them. Which is really just a byproduct of the commandment to honor your parents. So in a round about way, football is really a religious matter, and Jesus clearly loves Bulldogs and not Devils.” (Mike). Arizona State is favored and probably a little better. Sun Devils by a score of 30-27.

UPSET OF THE WEEK?
Florida vs. Samford

Poor Napier is all but gone. 11-15 in two seasons and a game will lead to that reality. There is not much more to be said about Florida that has not already been pointed out by the media. You know it’s a bad Saturday when the Head Coach brags on the Special Teams. And while he did not mean it the way it was quoted, and it was said in a larger context of a response to a question, Napier still committed the ultimate “hot seat” sin: Attacking the fan base who pays your enormous salary and buy out. Put simply, armed with butter knives and water pistols, Billy brought his so called “army” to battle against a team holding Crocodile Dundee knives and Dirty Harry 44 Magnums. Miami made quick work of my Gators. Anyway, back to this upcoming game. In front of an enthusiastic crowd of 37 people, Florida wins 44-17. But wait, “I thought you picked the upset, Padre.” I did! I just predicted Florida wins. That’s the upset. A win for Gator Nation hasn’t happened since early October of 2023 against South Carolina…and it took miracle plays to get that win! So yes, my Gators get an “upset” against the might Mountain Brook Area Baptists (Alabamians will get that joke).

For some reason, we Gators cannot seem to keep and now even have nice things. Still a Gator till I die.

Cynic Gator is out. #LaneTrain

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