More upsets in Week 8 with UCF taking down BYU ( Editor’s Note: The Padre reached out Saturday AM calling this upset but the blog was posted earlier than normal with ZT on the west coast …. Solid Call by the Padre! ) as well as Cincinnati taking down Texas Tech, Minnesota over Iowa and Wisconsin over USC. NOTE: with only 3 undefeated teams remaining after Week 8, this is the fewest unbeaten teams since 1977!!! Only Miami, UCLA, and Utah remain unbeaten. 11 AP Top 10 teams have lost in the past 3 weeks and that ties a record. AND NOW, we have Halloween, Day Light Savings time and the Milwaukee Brewers as MBL Champs this week!!! This weekend could be Very Scary!!!
Pigskin Accountability Update: Well, ZT finished 7-3 with the Padre 5-5 ( ok, 6-5 with the UCF call but.. ) For the year ZT 51 – 32 Padre 49 – 34. Closer than some of the upcoming midterm elections for sure and, no question, more accurate than a rural Louisiana voting machine! Due to reader demand and the UCF situation, Padre remains in the lead position.
Padre on deck!!
Imagine you go to the best steakhouse in the entire country. You have read about this steakhouse. They have 5,000 reviews and a 5.0 rating. You had to get reservations two months ahead of time, and the day is finally here. You sit down and order the steak. But it comes with a salad. You don’t want the salad. You want the steak, and you want it now. But your beautiful bride notices that extra weight on your belly and lack of greens in your diet and says, “You need to eat the salad.” So, you order the Caesar salad. You ask for extra dressing because you know fancy restaurants and how they skimp on the dressing. But as you ask, you get the eye from across the table – the eye that means, “Extra dressing defeats the point of the salad.” So, you just take the salad as it is.
It comes out. It’s exactly what you thought it would be – it’s fine. It’s a salad. But you eat it because it is in front of you (and you want to keep her happy☺) – because you know what is coming next – THAT STEAK!
Well, that is how I see this Saturday in relation to next Saturday. If you don’t know what I am talking about, go look at Week 10! It’s insane. On paper, it is the perfectly seasoned and cooked steak. This week on paper? – Meh. It’s the salad. It’s fine.
But here’s hoping this week surprises! Let’s get on with the picks….
Clemson vs. Florida State: This game used to be THE game of the ACC. It would be primetime on ABC. This year, it’s on the ACC Network. Nothing against the ACC Network, but it’s kind of like getting all dressed up and heading out to eat to that steakhouse above, only to find out that it is booked and you have to settle for Arby’s……..okay, that may be a little harsh. Let’s say something like, I dunno, Chipotle? It’ll do! Anyway, I’ll be pulling for Clemson – because I like Clemson and I hate FSU – but I think FSU at home is too much. FSU can score points. Clemson plays football like they’re afraid of the end zone. FSU-30, Clemson-16.
Arizona vs. Texas Tech: The team once called “Desert Swarm” (anybody remember that?) vs. Big Oil (just sayin’). I know very little about Arizona. I am usually asleep when they are playing. I know a little more about Texas Tech. Arizona is supposed to be decent, but oil buys better players. Texas Tech-23, Arizona-17.
Notre Dame vs Navy: Boy, it sure would be nice if Navy pulled off the upset. But football isn’t about nice. Notre Dame dominates. Notre Dame-48, Navy-14.
Wisconsin vs. Iowa: In the spirit of the Milwaukee Brewers’ World Series win, and fueled by Miller Lite and House of Pain playing on loop on the team bus, the improved Badgers will head to Iowa and come out with the win. Wisconsin-20, Iowa-16.
Auburn vs Ole Miss: A week ago, these two teams were higher than Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson at a Dazed and Confused themed Halloween party. Today? They are both limping in like Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson the morning after that party. While both are limping into this game, Ole Miss has a lot more to play for with the CFP still in sight. Rebs-30, Tigers-16.
Florida vs. Georgia: First, they took away the name, “The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.” Then, because of renovations to the stadium, they have moved the game to Atlanta this year (and Tampa next year). And yet, that was nothing compared to what I just saw the other day…….They are literally calling this game the “Invesco QQQ Atlanta Gridiron Classic.” It seems that everything is for sale now. Somehow, the Cocktail Party is offensive or problematic but giving the name to the highest bidder is perfectly fine. I sure do miss 1996. Times were simpler then. NO AI and gas was $1.15 a gallon. I also miss 1996 because we Gators were in the middle of Steve Spurrier’s dominating run over Georgia (11 out of 12 for Spurrier and 18 out of 21 years total). But those days are gone. Kirby owns my Gators now. Two weeks ago was amazing for us Gators – but the Dawgs are rested and hungry. Smelly Wet Dawg (also known as “Daddy”)-34, There’s Always Next Year (and by next year, I mean whenever Kirby leaves Georgia)-13.
Minnesota vs. Indiana: College GameDay picked this game over the “Invesco QQQ Atlanta Gridiron Classic” – shame! By the way, say “Invesco QQQ Atlanta Gridiron Classic” five times in a row and an image of Curt Cignetti appears in all your mirrors, staring at you and wondering aloud what you have done with your life. On the game, Indiana is just better. Hoosier-30, Minnesota-10.
Northwestern vs. Oregon: Northwestern has a new stadium. And, they have a new identity – WINNERS! On the opposite side, Oregon was a trendy pick to win it all. Instead, they are now just trying to win at all. As much as I like Northwestern, I think the Ducks somehow find a way to win at home. Oregon-23, Northwestern-20.
Utah vs. Cincinnati: The Bearcats got the big upset last week. Utah got the big-game win last week. I picked against Utah last week, and I was wrong. I won’t make that mistake again… Of course, I also thought Pat McAfee would never last on GameDay more than two years. So, my predictions are about as useful as telling people they have to wait for the entire graduating class to graduate before clapping. Utah-27, Cincy-23.
Miami vs UNC: A lot of people are saying this is a sneaky game to watch. That maybe North Carolina has a chance. My thoughts are…..that is about as funny as telling people they have to wait for the entire graduating class to graduate before clapping. The Hurricanes blow through and leave Chapel Hill in shambles. Miami-45, North Carolina-14.
Ohio State vs. USC: On paper, this is a game that will end very poorly for the Trojans. But it’s my contention that Lincoln Riley is the West Coast version of Shane Beamer – as soon as you are 100% certain you can count him out, you can bet your derrière he is going to surprise you with a win against a better team. Believe it or not, I think that may happen again. Southern Cal-31, Ohio State-30.
Well, that’s it for me! Don’t feel too sorry for me – or, honestly, don’t feel sorry for me at all, because life is pretty great. After all, I got to spend two whole weeks celebrating a win over Texas! And let me tell you, that’s a pretty good feeling!
Gator Out!
ZT is still deciding what costume he will wear tonight.….But in the meantime, let’s prognosticate!
#4 Notre Dame Fighting Irish vs Navy at Foxborough MA 11am
ZT heard Navy is bringing the triple option to Foxborough, which is football’s version of handing Freddy Krueger a butter knife and calling it state-of-the-art. Marcus Freeman arrives looking so sharp that even Navy may salute before Notre Dame starts running up the score. If “Hungry Like the Wolf” starts playing, do not panic; that is just Notre Dame’s defense circling Navy’s candy bag. Irish talent and rest from bye week too much for Navy. Fighting Irish 41 McHale’s Navy 13
#25 Arizona Wildcats vs #8 Texas Tech Red Raiders 11am
Wildcats and Red Raiders on Halloween sounds like a rejected 1980s cereal commercial—one bowl of Count Chocula and everybody thinks they can run the Big 12. Texas Tech will crank up “Lubbock or Leave It” as they recover from last week’s road loss to Cincinnati. AZ QB Noah Fifita slings passes like Halloween candy, while TT RB J’Koby Williams runs as if someone told him the end zone is handing out homemade popcorn balls. Interesting that TT may be using journeyman QB Tommy Castellanos in this one! Upset Special Wildcats 31 Red-Faced Raiders 28
#25 Wisconsin Badgers vs Iowa Hawkeyes 11am
This game has all the offensive sparkle of cold meatloaf served during a VHS rewind of “Footloose.” Wisconsin brings the cheese, Iowa brings the corn, and the scoreboard brings two old AA batteries that may or may not work but likely won’t be needed for more than a few updates! Michael Myers could stand at midfield for three quarters and still see fewer explosive plays than he saw in Haddonfield. ZT sees Hawkeyes’ defense, running game & home field being the difference after the big Wiscy win last week! Hawkeyes 20 Melted Cheese 17
Auburn Tigers vs #12 Ole Miss Rebels 1145am
Auburn walks into Oxford like a trick-or-treater who was promised a candied apple and received one raisin plus a lecture on third-down efficiency. Ole Miss has “friends in low places” on defense, and Auburn QB Brown may meet every one of them beneath a collapsing pocket before halftime. ZT recommends deviled eggs and a Ouija board so Auburn can contact whichever blocker vanishes on passing downs. ZT would love to see Tigers get another upset but expect they will be phoning home more than ET. Rebels 35 Make Love not War Eagles 21
#17 Florida Gators vs #3 Georgia Bulldogs 230pm
Florida–Georgia on Halloween is already perfect: grown adults in costumes, suspicious punch, somebody barking before lunch and ZT using TouchTunes to play “Who Let the Dogs Out” at the 5 Paces Inn in Buckhead (If you know, you know). This rivalry now lands in Atlanta, so it is less “Cocktail Party” and more “Ghostbusters convention with SEC officials. Georgia’s more efficient offense and stronger line play control the neutral-site matchup. Bulldogs 34 Gators 23.
Minnesota Golden Gophers vs. #4 Indiana Hoosiers 230pm
Cignetti has Indiana playing like every drive comes with a guarantee, while Minnesota keeps checking the fine print for the return policy. P. J. Fleck may finish with blood on his face—not from a player or Halloween monster, but from rowing the boat straight through another Hoosier defensive wall. ZT has seen scarier things than a gopher on Halloween, but none wearing maroon and facing a three-touchdown spread. Hoosiers passing game and home field advantage are enough for a W. Hoosiers 24 Cold Rodents 14
#20 Northwestern Wildcats vs. Oregon Ducks 230pm
This is a crazy year…..Northwestern is ranked but Oregon is not?? NW OC Chip Kelly returning to Autzen with Northwestern is like the ghost of Halloween past showing up in a track suit asking where everybody hid the offense.
Expect “Back in Time” on the stadium speakers while every Oregon fan checks whether the Ducks DeLorean can still reach 88 miles per hour. ZT believes it can. Ducks 28 Illinois 3rd favorite team 24
#6 Utah Utes vs Cincinnati Bearcats 245pm
Utah arrives in Cincinnati like a mountain man at Skyline Chili: skeptical, overdressed, and wondering why the spaghetti is involved. ZT says have plenty of antacids, because the Bearcats defense has been giving out yards like Oprah handing out cars—”YOU get a first down, YOU get a first down.” Utes RB Wayshawn Parker and Cincy RB Cole Tabb should spend Halloween running like ZT when he spots a “FREE CHILI” sign. Can Bearcats pull off another upset at Nippert Stadium? Not this week. Utes 31 Bare Necessities 24.
Clemson Tigers vs. FSU Seminoles 6pm
Dabo shows up for Halloween dressed as a playoff contender—ZT gives him full marks for imagination. The Seminoles have the perfect haunted-house defense: everybody gets in, and nobody leaves without a souvenir touchdown. Upset Special Dabo’s Tigers 27 Norvell’s ‘Noles 24
#2 THE Ohio State Buckeyes vs USC Trojans 630pm
The Buckeyes travel to Los Angeles with more horsepower than K.I.T.T. ( really ZT? A Knight Rider reference?!?) noting they need to be self-driving with QB Julian Sayin out and Freshman Luke Fahey now leading the offensive charge. With Lincoln Riley’s hot-seat rumors heating up, Trojan fans may bring marshmallows instead of binoculars if the Trojans can’t get a W this week while crosstown rival UCLA is on a roll. Dicey game but ZT believes defense gets it done on the road because the Buckeyes can turn USC’s offense into the 405 at rush hour…no body going anywhere. Ohio State 23 Trojans 17
#1 Miami Hurricanes vs North Carolina Tarheels 630pm
Miami arrives in Chapel Hill like Crockett and Tubbs at a Halloween cookout—pastels, confidence, and enough offense to make UNC’s scoreboard file for witness protection. ZT, after eating 1.5 lbs. of jalapeno sausage, dreams UNC HC Belichick is the Great Pumpkin and Jordon Hudson is a witch so…. unless her broom comes with cornerbacks, Miami’s WRs make the Tar Hill’s endzone their pumpkin patch for the night. Hurricanes 35 Tar Heels 17
Time for the Dad Jokes……Halloween Style!!!
Halloween Dad Joke Extravaganza
The Vampire opened a blood bank, but noted every withdrawal was pain in the neck.
My pumpkin went wild at the Halloween party—got smashed, lost its gourd, and woke up pie-faced.
The Skeleton quit football…..he had the backbone, but no guts!
A mummy offered to double my money by Thanksgiving…..I said no because I knew it was a pyramid scheme!!
Padre and ZT back in November….maybe even an hour earlier…..
