CFB Week 2 2017

College Football Predictions with a twist!

Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern’s Twin

Zimmern’s Twin

OK State         42           South Alabama    24

Game is tied 24-24 at half as Coach Gundy is admiring Mullets nicer than his in Mobile.  Explains to reporter he is “Happy to be in this position with the #1 team at the Half”  Announcer says ” No Coach, you are playing SOUTH Alabama!”  OK State runs it 38 times in the 2nd half for the win.   Gundy given honorary lifetime membership to the Flora-Bama Lounge.

Wisconsin  41             Florida Atlantic     13

Kiffin still upset that, as part of FAU Liability Insurance Policy, he is required to play teams with minimal females like Navy  or most states bordering Canada.  FAU strikes first but when Camp Randall plays Jump Around, Lane spots a girl only wearing 2 hoops of cheese and its over.

Clemson    34         Auburn       25

Dabocado tells field reporter his tighty whities are smaller than hers.  Says ” tighty whities are the best, but so are boxers sometimes”   Gus says they took a bus vs. flying because there are 14 Waffle Houses on the route to Clemson.  Post Game says “This is just like high school ball, only bigger and different.”

Ohio State  30     Oklahoma  24

Urban says he never, ever wanted to live the “life of Riley” and surely not today.  Baker Mayfield tells all on Thursday that he is 9-0 on the road since coming to OU.  On Sunday, says “9-1 is pretty darn good!”

Florida      38    N. Colorado    3

Luke Del Rio says if he doesn’t start that he is changing schools.  NCAA advises he has maxed out his limit.  Coach Mac spotted attempting to board the N Colorado Bears team plane muttering “I love Colorado”

Alabama  52       Fresno St    17

Bulldogs score 1st and Saban retells his GA Southern “they ran through us like s*&$ through a tin horn” story at half time.  WWE clothes lines the reporter who asked if he will play some young players in the 2nd half.

Georgia   24     Notre Dame 23

Kirby and Bulldogs pull the upset.    Aided when Irish A. D. spots Charlie Weiss using an old credential to get on the sideline and eat the team’s energy bars.  Ruckus causes a sideline warning & penalty that negates the potential winning field goal.


Florida   34   N Colorado  10

Should have won by 80  but just not that good.   However, Coach Mac acts like UF has turned it around this week and shows up at the presser with his SEC east division trophies.  He then puts on the shades and throws up “east side” hand signs.

Penn State 37      Pitt  25

PSU gets revenge from a loss to Panthers last year…which ultimately kept them out of the playoff ( although saved them a thumping by Clemson like was given to OSU ).   After the game, Frankin yells out ” Anchor Down!…uh wait…Paterno Lives!”

TCU  48    Arkansas  47

Arkansas goes for 2 in double OT and doesn’t convert.  After the game ( in his state of depression ), Beliema buys an entire 2 hour production run at a Fayetteville Krispy Kreme for a late evening “snack”

Oregon 41    Nebraska   27

Oregon controls the game.  Nebraska hangs around early but can’t finish the harvest.  After the game, John Belushi is resurrected to bring havoc on the Oregon Campus with Nebraska players yelling “thank you sir, may I have another!”

Clemson    27   Auburn  23

Lower scoring and closer than expected.   Auburn attempted to play for the tie with advice from  Pat Dye and in the confusion, failed to get the XP play off.

S. Carolina 47    Mizzou  37

Upset by Coach BOOM and Gamecocks.  After the game when asked about the offensive performance, he says ( not so subtly ) ” oh, it was NUSSing!”

Ohio State  34   Oklahoma  30

OK leads most of the game, so to motivate team, Urban acts like he is having a heart attack like Sanford & Son  yelling ” It’s the big one,  I’m coming to see you Woody!”  Buckeyes rally for the Pontiff!

Notre Dame  30   Georgia  27

Georgia wins by the stats but loses a heart breaker.   Because IRMA cancelled the games in S. Florida, Mark Richt is spotted in the stands with a smirky smile and a Bulldog Voodoo doll.

Stanford 26   USC  20

Stanford players ask Trojan team before the game to explain E=mc2.   Just understanding “E” gives the Trojan players a headache and they are unable to focus on the game.  The Cardinal laugh all the way back to their Honors Courses on The Farm.

La Tech  43     Miss State 41

Missed FG at end of regulation.  Mullen loses another early season shocker.  Shreveport goes crazy that night…..oh wait, it is determined no one there really cares as they are all LSU fans.  LSU wins their game and they all cheer when Coach O says ” Graw mraw crewz brewz draw free froo tabasco sauce”



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