College Football Week 0 showed up like a plate of gas station nachos at midnight: not classy, but exactly what we had been missing for a while. Memphis slipped out of Las Vegas with a 27–21 win over UNLV after the Rebels led at halftime, then watched the Tigers score the final 13 points like somebody had reminded them the season had already started. UNLV even brought the Vegas energy, complete with Elvis coming out of the tunnel, which means we may have officially reached the point where pregame entrances need both a depth chart and a jumpsuit budget. And we thought NFL rookies who were cut coming back to school was the only issue out there!!
You know it is football season when a preacher can explain the Book of Revelation and a blown coverage with the same level of concern. Somewhere out there, a guy who looks suspiciously like Andrew Zimmern is already predicting scores with the confidence of a man who has eaten boiled yak and still thinks picking road underdogs is the most dangerous part of his week.
With 10 games targeted on the Pigskin list this week, let’s get started!!!
Pigskin Prognostication Accountability Update: Both ZT and the Padre are 3-2. As noted, ZT jumped out with his UNC upset prediction and was feeling great about Hawaii with under 2 minutes when the Tree people scored 2 TDs (one on a scoop and score) to pull it out (ZT…you are both 3-2 so just move on!!)
Padre graciously allowed ZT to go first noting “for you ZT, a tie is like a win so be my guest!”
Thursday Sept 3
Colorado Buffalos vs Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets 7pm
Coach “Sub” Prime takes his herd of Buffalos to Atlanta where the Yellow Jackets are looking to make it 2 in a row. Both teams have lots of fresh faces ( don’t most teams with NIL ZT?? ). Buffalos have 22 of 24 new faces on Defense and a lot on offense while Tech is more about filing some holes. RB Justice “I only wear” Haynes ( Michigan Transfer ) and Baby Brother Mendoza
comes in to take over for graduated QB Haynes King. ZT going with the Ramblin Wreck until the Buffalos get the kinks worked out. Yellow Jackets 28 Buffalo Chips 24
Fri. Sept 4
#7 Miami Hurricanes at Stanford Cardinal. 8pm
Stanford new HC Tavita Pritchard overcame near disaster at home being behind Hawaii with under 2 minutes to play. Character builder for the Tree People for sure ( so.. Cardinal in California = a bird, a tree, and a football team..hmm ). Issue is the Hurricanes will punch your momma in the face so not about better character in this one. It is a 5k ( in air miles ) for the Canes to travel but look for a balanced attack with 2 solid RBs and QB Darian Mensah “Society” methodically working on the Cardinal defense. Canes 38 Pulp Wood 17
Sat. Sept 5
East Carolina Pirates vs #13 Bama 11am
Pirates have been able to navigate rough seas for centuries but a Crimson wave is different. These 2 have only played once before and it was when Bama still played in Birmingham and was coached by Mike DuBose ( will note the Bama Trustees have asked the Smithsonian Museum folks to remove that era from history…. ). Pirates ended 2025 strong with 9-4 record and bowl win.
Expect Bama to run with Freshman RB EJ Crowell to play and Soph. QB Keelon Russell to make some plays as they see what the O Line is made of in near 100 degree temps. Bama 34 Scurvy Sailors 10
Boise State Broncos Vs. #2 Oregon Ducks. 230pm
Broncos HC Spencer Danielson has done well at Boise and will get tested hard right out of the gate with the Ducks, Memphis & Western Michigan in weeks 1, 2 & 4. Dan “the man” Lanning has helped move Oregon to the #8 slot of players on NFL rosters with 42 ( ZT…none of them can play in this game…). ZT sees it closer than Vegas but Ducks get the W. Ducks 31 Broncos 17
Baylor Bears Vs Auburn Tigers 230pm
All we need now is some Lions….. ( Terrible Wizard of Oz reference ZT…”Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My” – you needed CFB to start worse than we thought! ). Auburn begins the Alex Golesh era….Auburn “starting a new era” actually means all the fans are required, if they purchase season tickets, to say “ I feel better about the energy this year!”…..they are allowed to stop after the 3rd
false start. Tigers get the W in a close on in Atlanta. Tigers 28 Yogi’s cousins 24
FAU vs Florida 645pm
So….the FAU Owls have 2 mascots….Owlsley and Hoot…that’s good because Gators are opportunistic carnivores ( thanks for the Animal Planet lesson ZT…) and expect one of those birds will be gone by halftime. Gators 35 R.I.P. Hooters 17
Clemson Tigers Vs. #11 LSU Tigahs 630. PM
Could this be one of the Tigahs last games in the SEC?? Classic Good vs. Evil match up….Clemson replaces Cade Klubnik with Chris Vizzina but noted FR Tait Reynolds will play in the opener. Rumor LSU will have Joe Burrow at QB under their NFL deal with Justin Jefferson and Ja’Marr Chase at WR. Will be multiple psychologist in the stadium studying the reactions of both fan bases when “Go Tigers” is yelled. Being in Baton Rouge matters. Tigahs 27 Tigers. 20
Sun. Sept 6
Wisconsin vs #4 ND at Lambeau Field 630pm
Just say CHEESE!!!….and its over. Fighting Irish could just be the Passive-Aggressive Irish with this schedule…only BYU on the road and Miami at home are real threats. Being in Lambeau is interesting as the Badgers get “home-state” cheese advantage but Irish gold helmets may win over some of the Packer faithful. Expect a motivated Irish to overcome the atmosphere as they are playing with a HUGE chip on their shoulder after missing out on the playoffs last year. It’s been the theme of the entire off-season. Irish 31 Cheese Sticks 17
#24 Louisville at #9 Ole Miss @ Nashville. 630pm
Only thing to say about this one is moving from Lane Kiffin to Pete Golding is like planning to go to Prom with Sydney Sweeney then getting a call she is moving but one of her buddies can go instead….Her buddies turns out to be Rosie O’Donnell and Kathy Griffin. In the Bluegrass state, HC Jeff Brohm is in year 4 and coming off a 9-4 record with Boca Raton Bowl W. ZT likes the fit
and this would be a HUUUGE W in Nashville. Ok…calling it! Upset Special Cardinals 28 Col Reb is Crying 27
Mon. Sept 7
19 SMU at FSU. 630pm
Mustangs HC Rhett Lashlee is always mentioned for other jobs but why leave SMU? Big $$ that can move the needle if they want ( kinda like Vandy..but maybe more? ). No talking about the hot seat for FSUs Norvell..we will wait till after this one & the Bama game to revisit that. Seminoles handled NM State as they should have and expect the improvement from 1st game to be good.
But will it be good enough? ( Ok ZT, you are supposed to answer that question..not ask it!! ). After more thought if FSU loses this one, thinking they will layoff Norvell till the Bama game is like hearing a smoke alarm and just deciding to check it in 2 weeks. Upset Special Seminoles 24 Pony Express 23
ZT is done……. Now time for some divine prognostications from the padre!!
WEEK 1 PICKS
Week 1 is upon us. While the slate is not up to previous years’ standards, it is still college football! Sure, it is a semi-pro sport now. Sure, the portal is more combative and chaotic than a Secretary Pete Hegseth press conference in the middle of The Met Gala in NYC. Sure, Lane Kiffin questions the definition of “is” for amateur/professional athletes more than Bill Clinton wrestled with “is” in front of a Special Counsel. Sure, great traditions have been abolished for greed more times than Tiger Woods has wrecked a vehicle or Tennessee has played Rocky Top during a game. And sure, 2026 Louisiana judges have about as much neutrality when it comes to college football as CNN and Fox News do when it comes to politics.
….Yet, we will watch. Why? Because, outside of the Bill of Rights, college football is the greatest invention to come from the United States of America in its 250 years of history (Exaggerated statement? Maybe. But maybe not? 😇).
So, here we go with the picks!
Colorado at Georgia Tech: Prime Time back in the ATL! However, Deion’s star has lost some twinkle of late, and Brent Key is angrier about assistant coaches leaving and players transferring than Nick Saban is when someone replaces his oatmeal cream pie with a rice cake. While Key may be cantankerous of late, he is still a really good coach — and this one is at home. I’ll take look angry/play angry at home over look good/play good on the road. Tech-34, Colorado-23.
Miami @ Stanford: Stanford won last week, and the slate is rather weak this week, so that is why this game is being picked. I say all of that because I think South Beach is going to San Francisco Bay with Category 5-type fervor. Miami wants to prove they are still legitimate contenders, and Stanford wants to prove that a real collegiate athlete’s two-minute drill takes four semesters and a summer internship…and $400,000 in debt (not that the U of Miami is cheap! 🤣). Miami is on a mission. Canes 34, Stanford 10.
East Carolina Pirates @ Bama: Mr. Beast is from Greenville, NC. ECU is in Greenville, NC. Oh my, what ECU could be if he wanted to get in the NIL game. But alas, we aren’t there, and Alabama has Milo’s Sweet Tea money (or something like that). The Pirates are overwhelmed by the Tide. Bama 55, ECU 17.
Boise State @ Oregon: Some of us are old enough to remember The Punch. If you don’t know what that is, look it up! At that time, the Broncos were all the rage. For a while, there were Boise State fans all over the country. But like all fads, that too has passed. Now, Boise State isn’t Nickelback (mocked now as much as they used to be celebrated). They are more like Boyz II Men — when you see them, you go, “Oh, yeah. Smurf Turf! Remember that Oklahoma game?” Anyway, they may not be Nickelback cringe, but they sure aren’t on Oregon’s current quarter zip and matcha vibe (fyi: that also may be lame now — I can’t keep up with my teenager’s trends). Ducks win BIG!!! Oregon 45, Boise 10.
Baylor vs Auburn (Atlanta): I think I may be looking forward to this game more than any this weekend. Possibly because I don’t know what to expect from either team — and to see if DJ Lagway will be amazing and break my heart for leaving, or look the same and confirm the necessity of his departure. Either way, I have no feeling on this game. Vegas says Auburn by 7. As a pastor, I feel like I’m supposed to have faith and go against Vegas. As a game picker, I’m supposed to have enough sense to pick the team Vegas likes. So here I am, spiritually conflicted and competitively selfish. Do protestants need/have confession?! Auburn 24, Baylor 23.
FAU vs Florida: I was determined to be less cynical and more hopeful for my Gators and their 23rd new coach in 13 seasons (I know that isn’t mathing, but neither are the projected $1.5 BILLION renovations to The Swamp — how is that possible?!?!). But as the summer has passed, my Braves have given me more ups and downs than a Catholic Mass. My Gators will win, but disappoint me at the same time (which is easier to do than fall asleep during a soccer match — 😉). Florida-34, FAU-17.
Clemson vs. LSU: Me in September — “I can’t believe I wanted Lane Kiffin at Florida. The more he ‘matures’, the more he finds new ways to show his disdain for college football tradition and competitive decency.” Me (most likely) in November — “I cannot believe we let Lane go to Baton Rouge! Why didn’t he love us?” Nothing tests your morality in the South more than the desire to win football games. Dabo sticks to his principles. I respect it! And like the guy who brought a sword to a gun fight against Indiana Jones (great movie moment), Lane is Indy with the gun! It is close for a while, but the Lane “NFL Jr” Train pulls away. Tigers of Baton Rouge—30, Tigers of the Upstate-17.
Wisconsin vs. ND (Green Bay): One of the biggest adjustments for me going from young to middle-aged was accepting the fact that I now make dad noises. Whenever I have to get up, move suddenly, or do anything that I don’t want to do, I make noises I swore I would never make when I was younger. I say all of that because that is how I feel about Notre Dame. After years and years of being overhyped, I never thought I would see the day when I think the Irish are real contenders…but I do! I guess a minivan is next (I already wear New Balances now….hey, don’t judge — they are comfortable!). Notre Dame BIG! Irish-37, Wisconsin-13.
Louisville vs. Ole Miss (Nashville): Is there any game people are looking forward to more than LSU @ Ole Miss? — Probably not. But that game is two weeks away. Ole Miss has a real threat in Week One! I am not sure why, but I have a feeling Louisville is better than people think. I also thought Steph Curry would never make it in the NBA, and Chip Kelly would dominate at UCLA. Clearly, I am about as good at predicting the future as an 8-Ball. However, I have shaken that 8-Ball and asked, “Will Louisville pull off the upset?” It came back, “It is decidedly so.” As Ron Burgundy says in Anchorman, “It’s science.” The Cards get the upset. Louisville-27, Ole Miss-24
SMU at FSU: Some people say (mostly FSU friends) that when I pick the Noles to win, I am playing reverse psychology. Now, would I actually do that? Does it make sense to run the risk of hurting my record in CFB picks to appease some college football energy thing so maybe they (the Noles) will lose? Think about it…….Yes, yes it does! 😉 In the spirit of rivalry hatred, I throw some bad vibes at FSU by picking them to win. FSU-20, SMU-16
See you at Week 2. Padre out!
How do you spot a Tennessee fan at a wedding? Look for the guy in the orange t-shirt!!
Son: “ Dad, can you please explain to me what a solar eclipse is?” Dad: “No sun.”
Padre and ZT wish all an enjoyable and safe Labor Day…..and don’t forget to prep for your NFL Fantasy League draft!!!
Pigskin Prognostications by the Piedmont Padre and Zimmern's Twin 