Plenty of great action and games in Week 4 but here comes October and this is when the “wheat is separated from the chaff!” in the CFB! Will note this is the time in the season where coaches study film, fans study injury reports, and boosters study the fine print in a buyout clause. Michigan now understands that “revenge is a dish best served cold with corn on the side” after Iowa won in the Big House on the last play of the game. UMASS update….4-0 and will be playing E. Michigan in Amherst this weekend. Love seeing teams find a way to crawl out of the ESPN Bottom 10!!
Pigskin Prognostication Accountability Update: Well, ZT is “officially” in the lead for 2026.
ZT used his “math immersion” diet ( ZT, eating Chinese food does NOT improve math skills…that’s like stating “I ate at Captain D’s and now I can swim faster!” ) to leap to a 1-game lead for 2026. ZT was 6-3 while the Padre was 5-4. For 2026: ZT 29-15 Padre 28 – 16 ( ZT, you likely should screen shot this as it won’t last long based on history! ).
ZT leading off ( legitimately ) and while in T-Town watching Bama vs Gamecocks, had a chance to visit one of his favorite places, Taco Casa. Was at the door when they opened at 1030am and the increase in endorphins from this feast got the juices flowing for Week 5 so here we go!!
#7 Bama vs. #16 Mississippi State Bulldogs 11am
Tide rolls into “StarkVegas” expecting cowbells, possible rain, and at least one tailgate where everyone is still wearing a T-shirt with Jackie Sherrill on it. The cowbells will be louder than a 1990’s AOL modem and 5 times as irritating. Was noted this week Kalen DeBoer has the same record at Bama vs Saban through 32 games ( both at 24-8 ). That said, this is a major “trap game” for Bama with Georgia coming to town next week & MSU has a Bye. Expecting Bama’s Keelon and MSU’s Kamario to put on a show this week as both have over 1,000 yds through the air in the first 4 games. Something just feels odd ( could be what you ate ZT )…. Upset Special Bulldogs 38 Ebb Tide 37
#3 Notre Dame Fighting Irish vs North Carolina Tarheels 11am
ND rolls into Chapel Hill unbeaten, and the Irish defense looks tighter than ZT’s waistband leaving Golden Corral. UNC may hang around early at home and some defensive stubbornness. Later in the game, the Irish DL will make running lanes disappear faster than a pizza at a college dorm. Marcus Freeman and his alter boys pull away in the 2nd half while ZT requests the ESPN field reporter to ask in the post game presser if they have secretly joined the ACC. Shhhh!! Fighting Irish 38 Tar on Jordon’s High Heels 17
Vanderbilt Commodores vs #2 Georgia Bulldogs 1145am
Commodores sail into Athens at 3-1 but “between the hedges”, they may feel like their transiting the Strait of Hormuz in a Sears Jon boat ( come on ZT….Sears closed in 2018 but bet you still have one of their Credit Cards). Vandy QB Jared “not Jamie Lee” Curtis once committed to Georgia so his welcome will be as comfortable as a vinyl car seat in July. Expect Commodores to enjoy this trip less than Gilligan’s 3 -hour tour ( ZT…that show ended in 1967, although no question Mary Ann was hotter than Ginger ). Dawgs 44 Deck Swabbers 13
#8 Florida Gators vs #25 Missouri Tigers 230pm
Gators head to Columbia with a running game hotter than 2 fire hydrants fighting over a dog in July! Continuing this will be critical if UF is going to keep Eli’s potent Offense on the sideline. Tigers will hit some big plays as the Gators secondary will occasionally drift off like a C student in calculus class. This will be a tough one with Gators coming off a big Win at home and Tigers are angry this is not a battle of undefeated teams. As The Rock says “It doesn’t matter..” Gators 31 Tiger Rugs 27
#2 THE Ohio State Buckeyes vs. #14 Iowa Hawkeyes 230pm
Kinnick Stadium at night is where many offensive game plans have gone to die (a lot like most of ZT’s diets). Hawkeyes will make the Buckeyes earn every yard and can see OSU fans chewing on their couch cushions into the 4th quarter. One issue…Iowa’s Offense is better but them trying to keep up with the OSU 5 Stars is like racing a bass boat in a 16 foot Jon boat with a trolling motor. (ZT.. what’s your hang up on Jon boats this week? ) Applaud the effort, but ZT is confident where it ends. Buckeyes 28 Men of the Corn 17
Auburn Tigers vs #17 Tennessee Volunteers 230pm
Auburn takes its first TRUE road trip of 2026 and its to Neyland Stadium, which will be like learning to swim by being tossed off a pontoon boat by your drunk uncle at a family reunion ( both fan bases understand this analogy very well! ). Tiger QB Byrum Brown can keep them in the game, but needs to avoid the INTs, particularly on the road. Vols have been perfect in the Red Zone in 2026 so keep them out of it ( wow ZT…you should consider politics with that statement ). Will be close in the 1st half but ZT takes the Big Orange and only hopes no one sings “Rocky Top” before the 1st TV time out ( low odds on that! ). Vols 34 Tigers 20
Virginia Cavaliers vs FSU Seminoles 230pm
UVA beat up on the Delaware Fightin’ Blue Hens while FSU took out Central Arkansas. Both teams needed a “cupcake” after losing the prior week. Cavaliers need to prove they can win on the road and particularly Doke Campbell where they are 1-9 in the last 10. Seminoles showed some light early vs. Bama and ZT believes QB Ashton Daniels will have the better day. ZT also found an arrowhead in a garage box so…Upset at home! Seminoles 27 We are for Lovers 24
Arkansas Razorbacks vs. Texas A & M Aggies 6pm
Hogs arrive in College Station with a decent pass game but run about as effectively as ZT trying to go past a dessert table. ZT does expect the 12th man at Kyle Field to leave the tailgates early ( where they plan to cook plenty of pork sausage after the game ) and bring back some energy to Kyle Field. ZT betting on QB Marcel Reed to finally get on track. ZT taking the Aggies, although some concerns about the mental acuity of any team that needs 5 men to show people how to yell. Just sayin… Aggies 31 Pattie Sausage 17
#10 BYU Cougars @ TCU Horned Frogs 6pm
The boys from Provo bring an undefeated record, fresh legs from a bye week, and a rushing that is solid enough to apply for a tax deduction. TCU QB Jaden Craig can sling it but has 3 INTs in last 2 games. Horned Frog’s Defense keeps them in this one but Cougars balance should travel better than ZT in the middle seat in coach. ZT going BYU and will celebrate this one with the wildest caffeine-free drink allowed. Cougars 30 Snoop Frogs 21
#4 Miami Hurricanes vs Clemson Tigers 630pm
Miami and Clemson meet in a game that will show more orange than Sunkist Convention or the chain gang picking up trash on the highway. Expect Dabo and his Tigers to rub Howard’s Rock like it’s that Magic Eight Ball hoping for the “signs point to yes” looking for the win. Good rebound since the opening week loss to LSU. Hurricanes have blown through everyone except Wake but no distractions as they have an off week coming. Tigers would be better served to throw Howard’s Rock at the Hurricanes than rub it. Hurricanes 35 What’s new Pussycats 17
Padre is in the house ( thank goodness after reading ZT and taking a Tums! )
For the first time in, well, maybe 16 years, my Gators had to deal with what Saban popularized as “rat poison.” I guess dominating a Top 4 team will do that. Of course, I, like Saban, find the praise and hype infuriating. I just hope the team is chugging Gatorade instead of that media created elixir.
Anyway, I’ll get to Florida later. We have a decent week in front of us, and I need to put the Gatorade down and grab the official drink of Starkvegas, as they are the first pick.
…..Wait. I don’t have any Natty Light.
Oh well, let’s just start picking.
#7 Bama @ #16 Miss State: Starkvegas will be electric. Well, for a noon game, at least. In the old days, this would be a rare great Jefferson Pilot game (I sure do miss those days!). As a kid, I didn’t even know what Jefferson Pilot did, but I knew their camera angles and sound quality were just above public access level….and it was still glorious! Well, Miss State is no longer the public-access-channel version of an SEC team. They actually have a really good team…and a great QB…but Bama has 4- and 5-Stars. Super Kamario is something else. Bama’s Jimmies & Joes are something and something and something and something else. Bama-37, Miss St-27.
#3 Notre Dame @ UNC: Chapel Hill considers itself a “Public Ivy” as a school. I’ve been there several times. It’s a great place. I’ve also been to Notre Dame a couple of times, and it’s also a great place. But this isn’t a beauty pageant or an academic triathlon. This is football. And the private-school Irish are going to bring a public beatdown. Notre Dame-34, UNC-13.
Virginia @ FSU: Rumor has it that the FSU WR caught in the Virginia field rushing last year is still missing. The Cavs are very slightly favored, but I think Norvell’s boys will find a way this time. Mr. Beelzebub’s University-26, Mr. Jefferson’s University-23.
Vanderbilt @ #2 Georgia: Like Chapel Hill, Vanderbilt is known for being similar to an Ivy League school. And like what happens to a tofu-loving Ivy League professor after he eats at a Georgia BBQ joint, the Dawgs are going to run through the Commodores. Georgia-41, Vanderbilt-13.
Auburn @ #17 Tennessee: Most people assume the Vols have got this one at home. After all, Alex Golesh worked under Josh Heupel as his OC. Josh is the originator. However, I have a weird gut feeling that the Grasshopper is about to take down the Master. Auburn-24, Tennessee-23.
Arkansas @ Texas A&M: When I was growing up, we used to call the Egg Bowl “The Toilet Bowl.” I think the Hogs and Aggies have taken that title in 2026. It won’t be pretty….but nothing that happens inside The Porcelain Throne ever is. The Aggies flush the Hogs. TAMU-34, Arkansas-16.
#10 BYU @ TCU: Question: What does a Mormon do when he visits Texas? Answer: Eat frog legs with his Capri Sun (I have no idea why I picked Capri Suns….it just sounded funny in my head). BYU-27, TCU-20.
#4 Miami @ Clemson: Dabo’s boys are playing harder. They are showing heart. Miami has Darian Mensah and Malachi Toney. You remember what that dude in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom did with beating hearts? Yeah. Well, other than traumatize me as a kid, that is the metaphor for what I think Miami will ultimately do to Clemson. Miami-36, Clemson-17.
#8 Florida @ #25 Missouri: And now we get to my “Rat Poison Bowl.” Last week was so much fun, but as my coach said this week — either humble yourself or be humbled! Aligning with that concern, I have been reading and hearing many pundits say this is Florida’s version of Ole Miss’ game against us. And they may be right. I certainly worry about that. I also worry that if I pick Florida, I will anger some football gods who have resided in my basement for almost two decades….and they will come out to torture me whenever I feel any sense of hope. But like the false prophets of the god Baal against Elijah on Mount Carmel, the football gods aren’t real. It is just 11 against 11. I would not be shocked if Florida has a letdown and loses, but I am going to stick with my Gators in this one….football gods be darned! Florida-41, Mizzou-38.
#2 Ohio State @ #14 Iowa: Last week, the Hawkeyes brought sweet justice to the college football world. While not justice, oh, how sweet it would be for the Hawkeyes to bring joy to us two weeks in a row! But alas, reality is a 5-Star monster staring you in the face pre-snap like you called his momma a word a pastor cannot say or type. That monster reality sets in this week. Ohio State-38, Iowa-13.
In spite of the NIL and Transfer Portal mess that has infected college football like athlete’s foot in a locker room, I have still enjoyed each week this season. Here’s hoping for another great week….
…..except you Georgia Bulldog fans!
Your whiny/ridiculous accusation that Sumrall stole Smart’s “Bloody Tuesday” term is getting more annoying than an FSU Seminole “Fire Water” rant.
True Story. Every Gator knows Urban Meyer was using that term before Smart was even a head coach. But like politics, facts in a rivalry don’t matter. And Georgia owns us and can invent facts as they please, I guess.
GATOR OUT!!!
Dad Joke: What was actually more useful than the 1st telephone?? The 2nd telephone!
Dad Joke for Club Med members: ( for older readers, that stands for Club Medical! ): I went to my doctor with a suspicious-looking mole…. He said they all look like that and I should have left him in the yard!
Dad Joke MLB Playoffs: Why does a pitcher raise one leg when throwing the ball? If he raised both he would fall down!
Padre and ZT hope you have a great weekend and will be back next week with more Pigskin Prognostications!
